Chapter 48 - Forty-Two
LEO
I hate being sick. Laying in your bed all day and feeling like shit. It’s even shittier when no one is there to look after you when you are ill. It feels cold. So cold, enough to freeze your heart. But this entire week has changed my mindset. Just for a little.
From now on if Erwin is there then I wouldn’t mind falling sick one or two times throughout the year. I never knew a person can be this caring. All this time Erwin sat by my side and held my hand, so that I wouldn’t feel cold. I wouldn’t feel lonely. Almost as if he knows how it feels like being alone when you are already feeling like shit. As if he knows how it feels to not have someone by your side who can talk to you and make you feel like you are not all alone in this cruel world.
Other than that John and Ruth visited almost every day. Every fucking single day. But what made me happier is John brought Steve with him when he came to visit. I love Steve. He is such an obedient cute child that I can’t get enough of him. But whenever I look at him my heart aches. I start wondering if the child that was supposed to be born seven months later would be like him. It’s an ugly scar across my heart that I know will never fade.
Erwin interrogated John and Ruth about the other day and Ruth gave him a clumsy explanation that he has grown a bad habit of kissing his girlfriend goodbye before leaving, so the other day in the hospital he slipped in the moment of impulse.
And believe me this is the most inaccurate explanation I have ever heard from someone. And I can’t believe that Erwin actually, I mean actually bought it. Maybe because he is mentally too exhausted to press on about this anymore. But I still don’t know how he will react to their relationship when he knows about it. It will be a thorough disaster. Just the thought of it gives me a headache. And let alone the possibility that they will fall apart by that time. I think the earth is going to end that day when Erwin knows about it.
Guess I will have to talk about it with Ruth and John before any of them actually happens. But right now Let us handle the thing that is giving me a hell of a time right now.
The bruises on my face and stomach have started to fade. The large bruise is still scattered over the left side of my face but it will soon completely fade. But the bruises on my stomach are much denser and painful to touch. Though it is very stubborn, Erwin’s regular ointment application is very effective and it has started to fade slowly but steadily. It will eventually fade too. But the scare the incident left my heart will never fade. It’s stringing now, that is why I am raging at the moment but it will go numb after a while and leave me with some broken pieces that will never be fixed again. Even if they do, the scare will forever be there and remind me of that nightmare.
And I will never forgive the one who gave me the scare. Nor will I forgive the people involved with them.