Fractures of Eternity

For an instant, my heart was wide open by this vampire, who held me in his arms as if I were a normal girl.

“Vivian, even before I touched you back then, I felt the utter solitude you were in the moment I entered the room you were kept. Even though I knew I should’ve left right away, I felt this undeniable attraction towards you, leaving me wishing to quell the pain you were in.” He breathed, prompting my gaze to lock with his, which was full of a warmth I couldn’t pull away from.

“Loki…” I mumbled, as he held my hands tighter.

“Then I heard your voice for a brief moment, and the connection with you was instant and out of this world.” He simpered, leaning into my cheek, pushing himself into me again, triggering a mewl to leave me again.

I wanted to wrap my legs around his hips, but couldn’t when he brushed his lips against my skin.

“No, don’t say things you don’t mean. Please, I can’t take it if it’s a lie.” I begged him.

In response, he sighed before pressing his forehead against mine.

“Love, I mean every word I’m saying. I remember the moments before my premature death, and I chose to stay because something about you told me I had to take you away from there, and that was the only way to do so. Back then, with my lack of power, all I could do was hold you tight against my chest as they beat me senseless, but I never lost the hope to free you, and here we are.” He murmured, wincing in pleasure, as our connection was still more profound than anything else.

“In our previous life, we used to be the god of emotions. It should’ve been an easy fight for us, yet I feared that if I did something, he would notice you weren’t just a book. So, I gave in, knowing my power was useless against him, if he used you against me.” Eli added, hissing at the thought of it.

By him… Do you mean Yama?

“He wouldn’t have allowed me to walk out of there with you, and I couldn’t let him know you were alive in there. If he had known, our predicament could’ve been worse.” Loki lightly kissed my lips. “Gods, am I grateful it ended up like this. Surely, it had to be because of Midnight.”

“But I…” I gazed away, trying to escape from what was happening.

To accept this was to admit he could save me—something my heart wasn’t willing to do. After all, they had always blamed me for everything.

Can I believe you? No! Don’t fall for pretty words! Surely… Elias must’ve had love before me. I was a book, and I don’t remember any connection with him! You must have someone else to love.

The living gods were known for being flirtatious with their kin until they met their one and only.

No… You’re mine! I want you to be mine, even if you have someone else waiting for you!

“Much is still fuzzy, but I’m sure the one who killed me before was a tall man, not a tiny book.” My prince sighed, allowing himself to fall next to me.

The suddenness of his pulling out of me caused me to shiver as he held one of my hands in his.

“But I know I love you, Vivian. I don’t mind being bound to you for an eternity. Actually, I welcome it.” He simpered, pulling his pants up a bit.

Again, my heart was melting for him, and I was incapable of stopping it.

Why are you so determined to destroy every wall I have inside? Why not leave me alone? I won’t be able to live without you in my life anymore.

I hated this dependence I was developing for him, yet at the same time, I couldn’t stop it.

And if you’re so set on staying, then…

“I had a nightmare where you’ll die again. If you’re with me… I can’t be the reason you die again.” I whimpered, unable to shake the warmth he had filled me with.

“Hm… is that why you fuck me silly sometimes?” Loki smirked, taking everything lightheartedly.

Instinctively, I slapped him on his chest with my free hand.

“I’m serious, you stupid vampire! I don’t know if that was a vision! Or if it was me worrying about you!” I tried to hold back the tears that wanted to roll out of me.

Before I knew it, I was in his arms. “Then tell me. What scares you the most about the living gods?” Loki asked, holding me tightly to him.

Pressing my forehead against his chest, I couldn’t help but let go of everything to him. “An incantation that binds me to their will. You don’t remember it?”

He shook his head. “Uh, no, I can’t remember much else. Maybe a rowdy girl who would annoy me at times, but you told me that was my sister. Hah… I can’t recall her face anymore.”

Is there really no one else in your life?

I mean, he appeared young in my memory.

Perhaps you weren’t into that yet?

“Nothing else?” I mumbled.

The tone of my voice caused him to chuckle. “Ah… I see.” He smirked, pulling me onto him.

Before I knew it, I was straddling him, while his hand caressed my cheek.

“Nothing, you’re my first love in every one of my lives. And I’m yours, right?” He murmured, prompting me to huff as I clutched his hands tightly.

“A high goddess like myself would never…” I trailed off, resting against his hand, feeling like my cheeks were about to fall off.

“Hm… Okay. I like you this way, too.” He chuckled, rolling his eyes.

Holding onto my hips, he sat up, kissing my lips in one swift movement.

Is any of this real? It can’t be, right?

Instinctively, I responded to him by sticking my tongue in his mouth, causing him to playfully allow me to explore his mouth while he caressed my breasts with his palms. When he drew away from me, he rested his head against my bosom. My breathing was uneven, though he was enjoying the sound of my erratic heart.

“That incantation, though. If it’s anything like the curse, there must be a way to break.” He mumbled, bringing me back to chaos.

“I don’t think it’s anything like that curse, and I don’t think I can fight it. I was a tool made to serve others. If anyone… even a mortal uses that chant on me, I’ll be nothing but a tool again.” I gazed away, shivering at the thought.

If that happens, everything will be a mess. Back then, my powers were limited, but they have evolved significantly since then.

Instead of following my gloom, he raised his eyebrows. “Eh, I think we can find a way to break it. I mean, Edna made a body for you, and we met again, anything is possible.”

“Huh? No, you don’t understand. There isn’t a way. It’s merged with my soul. Even in rebirth, I’m bound to it, which means my only choice is to avoid the living gods.” I sighed, unable to withdraw from his warmth.

“Vivi, we’ll figure this out. I promise to find a way to set you free. We’ll find a way to be together and happy.” My prince announced more firmly, leaving me feeling like his words could come true, yet I knew otherwise.

Hah… I’ll only cause you misery in the end.

“No, what needs to happen is that after I change your fate, I’ll be gone and you’ll live a normal mortal life.” I yanked away from him, as he quickly stopped me by grabbing onto my arm as I stood up.

“You can’t expect me to say yes to that.” He argued.

I couldn’t gaze at him directly. “This is how it has to be. I never intended to stay with you in the end.” I declared, body trembling.

That’s right… This can’t be real…

Instead of letting me go, he yanked me entirely to him, as I had never felt him use force against me until this point. Before I knew it, I was in his arms again, and this time, I wasn’t going anywhere.

“Vivi… If you ever leave me. I won’t stop looking for you.” He huffed, his hold relentless on me.

It almost felt like I was something precious, but I wouldn’t let him win.

“Better miserable than dead!” I snapped, triggering him to hold onto me tighter.

All I could do was grasp onto his arms that held me tenderly.

“Oh, sweetheart, you’ll take my heart with you. It’ll be the same as killing me!” He growled as he captured me with those simple words.

Giving in to him, I slowly turned to him to see a pained expression on his face.

“You’re being unfair,” I mumbled, knowing this wouldn’t end well, yet I couldn’t help but hope it would.

If your words are true, then perhaps you’ll come with me. But would you betray your family for me? The people who raised and loved you?

Even if he remembered his old life, it wouldn’t replace the one he had. Much like my nightmares, those memories were dreams—a warning of a history I had to avoid.

I can’t ever ask you to do that. Loki…. I don’t know what to do anymore.

“Oh… am I?” He kissed my neck as my words soothed his heart.

“Yes, you are.” I pouted, unable to defeat my devoted lover, who was bent on keeping me in his life.

In response, he cackled before burying his face in my neck.

You make no sense to me, but I can’t help but feel a sense of relief.