Fractures of Eternity

After this, I wouldn’t feel Loki’s lips on me again, which left me feeling hollow inside.

“I was the one who told Edna I wanted a body, which required sacrifices beyond belief. Loki, I’m the daughter of the two most powerful beings known to exist. I’m not even sure if I mentioned it to her or if I was aware of the cost. Those memories are locked away and out of my reach, but it doesn’t change the fact that I asked for it!” I confessed, gazing away from him.

There was no way I didn’t know that my wish caused pain for everyone, yet I selfishly wanted it to come true.

I wanted to feel and love like everyone else. A foolish endeavor since I destroy everything I care about, don’t I, Edna?

She was gone because of my wish, and I remembered how much I loved her from that singular memory alone. There was no doubt that back then, she was my world, much like Loki was becoming the new shining star that guided me.

No… My feelings for you are… much…

“You were a book with a soul, Vivian. I can’t blame you for wanting to speak or to be loved.” Loki countered..

Ah… you don’t get it at all, do you?!

“I can’t be loved, and I don’t deserve it! Don’t you see I’m a monster?! I’m an abomination that should’ve never existed! My parents didn’t even give me a body when I was first made! I was never supposed to love or care, but to be used!” I huffed, trying to push him away, which was like moving a wall.

There was no way I was going to accomplish that.

“I love you.” He murmured, prompting me to gaze at him as his expression was full of affection towards me.

Tears stung my eyes as I snapped. “But you can’t love me! I got you killed once already!”

Nothing I did to try to shove him off me was working, leaving me to press my hands on his chest in an attempt to create any bit of space between us.

“What?” Loki sighed, shaking his head lightly.

I had to be more detailed, yet my voice was shaky.

“Ah… I-I… had a memory resurface, which was of god, and I think that was you, in another life.” I mumbled.

He shook his head, slightly sitting up, as he still straddled me, ensuring I wasn’t going anywhere.

“Hah… Vivi… If that’s the case, I don’t care.” He breathed.

“You say that because you can’t remember! I killed you and your sister, damn it! It’ll happen again if this keeps up!” I didn’t back down, triggering his eyes to widen as my gaze shifted towards the door.

Yama will want your soul if he finds you linked to me! I… I…

“Huh?” He bit his lip.

“I think she’s the same god that is connected to Oswald, but unlike them, something entwined your souls together. Eli… isn’t just a part of you. He is you!” I ranted.

Pangs in my chest grew sharper as I clung tightly to my pajamas.

What is… this feeling? Despair?

This was the first time I ever felt this way, and it was all because of him.

Ah… what a pathetic goddess, I turned out to be. I’m sorry…

“You aren’t making much sense, Vivi.” He sighed as I shook my head.

“You stupid vampire! This shift in the bond because of what you are, you’ll be connected to me for an eternity! It won’t matter if you find someone else to love! That won’t change!” I dart my gaze away from him.

Unless you… don’t remember you at all, but that only worked for Alijah while Fenrir wasn’t around, and he even expressed that it wasn’t real. So…

By this point, Eli was on the bed, watching me from the pillows with those new eyes of his.

“Vivian, I don’t want to love anyone else! I want you.” Loki declared, caging me under him again, as the warmth of his lips still radiated from mine, prompting me to yearn for more, yet I had to stop this.

“No! I killed you once before! I can’t let that happen again!” I protested, turning my body towards the side, ensuring my desire for him wouldn’t be able to sway me.

You’re my everything, but I have to be your enemy for you to survive, yet with this flower, everything changes. I…

“You say that, but I doubt it’s what you make it sound to be. You were a book that couldn’t do anything if not told!” He argued, prompting Eli to move closer to me as I turned slightly to face my beloved soul.

You’re such a fool. I’m not innocent. You’ve seen me kill! I even tried to kill your aunt! Why are your eyes still full of love for me?!

“Are you stupid?! I still caused your death! If not, Elias wouldn’t have been in the soul cairn!” I snapped, only to stop when a bright white hue came from his eyes.

The next moment, he fell next to me, grabbing his head as if something hurt him.

Instinctively, I sat up. “Loki!” I cried out, voice trembling, yet hesitant to reach for him.

Did I… hurt you? No… I didn’t want to—

His gaze was still glowing even under his palms, as soft groans left his lips. Eli appeared frozen where he was, while his eyes radiated a bluish color, slowly turning into a golden hue.

Eh…?

“That’s right, we’re Elias.” The snake muttered under his breath.

His words cause shivers to run down my spine, causing me to jerk away from Loki and away from the bed.

What’s… going on? Are they remembering who they were? No… I…

I backed away from the duo until I hit the door behind me, as I knew there was no way I could run out of there and be safe, yet my entire body wished to jolt away from there. From the tips of my fingers, I felt all the warmth leave me, while the once beautiful colors of the world, which the vampire had reignited within me, dulled once again.

If you remember the incantation, will you use it? Will I have the will in me to kill you if you do? Ah… I can’t kill you. You’re my link, but most importantly, you’re the one I love the most. Even if… we weren’t linked, I… wouldn’t be… able to…

It wasn’t long before Loki groaned, shaking his head slightly, as he slowly rose from the bed, triggering my heart to stop.

Surely, you hate me now. I… I… I… I… don’t… have any right to fight this, when I ruined your life in so many ways!

My entire body trembled where I stood. “Please… don’t hate me. I…” I voiced, clasping my chest.

The dread that rushed within me made me refuse to look at him, yet tears that never stopped were betraying me.

Why can I ever control myself against you? Ah… that’s right, you…

Every powerful emotion had always been because of him, which meant only one thing.

You’re my greatest weakness.