Fractures of Eternity

I found myself discovered by the boy I had grown to care for. With my cover blown, I thought the only way out of this was to reveal my intentions and take both my links captive. After all, there was no point in staying if I was their enemy.

Knowing what I am, surely means I’m your foe, doesn’t it? What am I even thinking?! Of course it is! Your family was destroyed because of me! All because I exist…

“Oh? So, what if I am full of myself? What are you going to do about it?” Loki crossed his arms before raising his eyebrows at me.

I scowled, not reading his expression. The simple thought of allowing myself to do so left me feeling colder than a winter storm.

Hah… How I wish I could read your mind. Is this façade a trap or an assault? Surely, we didn’t come here to chatter only. You aren’t stupid enough to allow the monster, whom Rem searched for years, to escape.

“You have a death wish.” I huffed, trying to seem tough and invulnerable.

Sadly, I felt like I was about to be split into two different people.

The one I wish to be, and the one I need to be. Hah… If only it would’ve lasted a little longer.

Not the sex, just the days I spent with Loki when he thought I was a regular mortal. The way he treated me was like something brittle, and all the tasty treats he gifted me with had left me brittle.

Doesn’t matter, it’s all over now. You surely…

My heart dropped when I finally locked eyes with the vampire who didn’t have a single ounce of fear in his gaze. Nothing about him trembled, like I did.

“Maybe… I mean, I did fuck with the being that caused my family to crumble. Plus, being destined to die by you makes me a little more unpredictable.” Loki smirked.

I couldn’t help but glare back at him.

Is that anger, hate, or indifference? Am I so insignificant to you that I don’t deserve your abhorrence?

“Ah… I…” My voice faded before I could even finish that thought.

Emotions I could easily detect in others were becoming muddled while I stared at the vampire who owned my heart. I had to be like him, unshakable and unbreakable, yet everything about me was trembling and shattering.

A soft sigh left Loki’s lips, shifting his stance as his arms fell to the sides. “Yet even though you were a catalyst for that. You also earnestly ran between me and those shadow demons. Why?”

The question that I dreaded left the vampire’s lips as his eyes focused on me. I planted my feet firmly on the ground to stop myself from trembling. Thankfully, enough time passed for me to figure out an answer for it, though it wasn’t the best.

“Don’t think yourself too highly. If they took you, then it would’ve created problems for me,” I answered.

Yet, if they had taken me, that would have caused me problems as well. Hah… What a horrible excuse to run to you in desperation. Papa would’ve saved you from the beast if that had happened, but I wasn’t reasoning. All… I thought about whether… You got hurt…

This emotion that grew within me was utterly useless and nerve-racking.

Why… do I have to care for you when you won’t feel the same?

My heart ached as I remembered every kiss we shared the previous day and the one before that.

Every one of them was without an ounce of genuine emotion from you.Right? While I…

Loki chuckled, shaking his head, which only caused me to fire up even more.

You always act like you know everything!

“What’s so funny?” I growled.

“It just makes no sense. Why were you shaking in your shoes, sweetie? If you were there to save me, then why were you so terrified?” He continued to prod, leading me straight into a corner with no way out.

My voice and posture all betrayed me—something this vampire could pick up on with ease.

It doesn’t matter. The fact that I was willing to trade my freedom for your safety would only disgust you even more. Hah… I’m so stupid. How can someone like me be a goddess?

No matter how I answered it. Knowing him, it would have led to a more precise question, and eventually, he would have figured it out.

I need to end this, but how?

“I—” I began, only to bite my tongue, unable to come up with anything to respond.

I need more time; my mind is too chaotic for me to think straight.

My body still burned in ways I struggled to suppress, too. I could’ve told Loki the truth, but then that would’ve placed my heart on the platter for his picking. It was already shattering from the fear of where this would end up, yet I had to keep myself together.

Instead of answering, I shifted my gaze away from the prince and towards the pretty flowers beside us.

Why… does everything have to hurt in this world?

“Look, if you’re what Remi says, you are. Then why the fuck would you be terrified of the shadow of the gods when you’re a god?! Answer me, Vivian! Or should I call you the Book of Life?!” Loki huffed as his voice turned cold, triggering pangs in my chest to get worse.

Even though I knew it was coming, my heart ached more than I thought it would.