Fractures of Eternity

A soft sigh left me as I shifted my gaze towards the vampire who shared a warm tub with me, after we had done the dirty more times than I could count.

“I…” I trailed off, shaking my head as Eli pressed his snout against my lips.

“Not here, little love.” He breathed, prompting me to grab onto him before using him to cover myself from Loki’s gaze.

The snake froze in my arms as it was the size of a boa.

Argh… there’s no point in any of this.

Shaking my head, I stood up from the water before letting him go free soon after.

After this moment of peace, everything’s over… This experience. My emotions for this mortal boy...Yes… Everything has to end.

Once free, Eli floated in the air as I finally noticed all the love bites on my body.

Ah… you… no… I’m your enemy, not some innocent girl, and that’s all I’ll ever be. It’s time to play the part I’m meant to. But… I never wanted this… to happen. Ah… The bliss was pleasant while it lasted. I just wish… I was… normal so that I could feel alive again in your arms.

“Fine… Shower and then we’ll talk.” I agreed, trying to keep a lid on my emotions.

It’s time to face the music and lock everything up, just like I… Why… is it so hard this time?

Even though I was trying to be strong, my legs felt like they would give in at any moment. Eli slid towards the showerhead when Loki got up, handing me a soap to use for my body. Seeing him naked with a clearer mind made me want to hug him, but that was something I couldn’t do.

I can’t… act like that anymore. There… isn’t any space for me in your arms. Not for a monster like me.

“Okay, I’m looking forward to this chat of ours, sweetheart,” He smirked, prompting me to roll my eyes.

This will be a nightmare. Will I be able to keep my emotions in check?

The moment that thought left my mind, I realized something was missing from my morning routine.

“Has it been a whole day?” I asked, prompting the vampire to cock his head.

“Mhm, it’s been more than twenty-four hours, Vivian.” He breathed, as my eyes slumped towards my hands.

Huh? Am I really awake? But I didn’t…

“Is something wrong?” He questioned, as I shook my head.

Even if I tell you, you won’t care. Anyways, it’s probably because you screwed my brains out that I couldn’t even muster to dream last night.

The soreness of my body told me all I needed to know about my state of consciousness, yet I couldn’t help but feel safe while with Loki. My cheeks burned, feeling like my eyes stung in ways I never knew they could.

I… will never know peace, will I?

“It’s nothing,” I mumbled, turning away from him to finish cleansing.

A soft sigh left his lips, “Okay.”

It wasn’t long until the peace between us was broken when I felt something come out of my core and glide down my left thigh. Instinctively, it made me glare at Loki, who smirked.

“Want me to help you with that?” He offered, triggering my eyes to twitch before throwing a sponge at his face.

Surprisingly, he didn’t dodge or catch it as it slapped against his face before falling into the tub.

“I’ll kill you if you touch me one more time!” I huffed, causing the vampire to burst into laughter.

Oi! This isn’t funny!

I hissed at his cackling, feeling like my cheeks would fall off. Every inch of my body was too sensitive, thanks to him, as he successfully made a mess out of me, and I didn’t know how to deal with it.

“Aside from that, you’ll need to take the pill for that soon. We have enough on our plates to have an oopsie.” He stopped chuckling, opening the tub’s drain.

Huh? I don’t need one. My entire reproductive system is frozen thanks to a witch’s spell, but that’s not something you need to know.

Pouting, I exited the tub where Loki offered me one of his new brushes to use for my daily routine. It almost was like we were a couple sharing a room, leaving stupid thoughts to rise on my head.

Another disgrace. Don’t you know who you’re talking to? You should hate me, or perhaps… you’re indifferent to me.

The moment that thought rushed through my mind, a pang rose in my chest as I exited the bathroom to see that someone had brought me a pair of spare clothes to wear.

Ah… I must’ve been asleep when you came.

“Oh, I called Oz to get them for you last night,” Loki informed, noticing me staring at the bags filled with my clothes.

“Does…” I trailed off.

“Hm?” He hummed.

I shook my head. “Never mind.”

It’s better if I don’t know what the warlock knows.

After getting dressed in casual clothing, I placed the brooch that had been on the work dress I wore the day before on. Once done, I gazed at Loki, wondering how we would leave his room with no one noticing. The chair was still barricaded in Oz’s room.

Hah… so I didn’t imagine that.

While I was gazing at it, Loki summoned his wings, catching my attention.

“Okay, come, I’ll carry you out of here.” He kneeled, showing me his back

Eh?! You want me to do what?!

I stared at him, stunned, at where I was.

Shaking his head, he sighed. “It’ll be easier to carry you on my back than in my arms. Unless that’s what you want, sweetie?”

“I-I…” I trailed off, trying to get a hold of my emotions.

Instead of letting me get a hold, Eli pushed me towards Loki, “Go on, we won’t bite.”

Oi! You mean bite again!

“Fine!” I did as the vampire requested.

I was wearing a simple black dress that covered my entire back and chest. It was like a collar, along with long sleeves, preventing my mark from being visible. With it, I wore white stockings underneath while using everyday sneakers rather than fancy heels.

They are frankly impractical for anything other than looking ‘beautiful’.

Loki wore a long, white-sleeved blouse with his favorite combat black pants and boots. His hair was up in a bun, while mine was in a ponytail. If I were walking straight into a trap, the last thing I needed was for my locks to get in the way.

The moment I mounted his back, the feathers of his wings felt so soft and fragile. It made me wonder if this was okay at all. Surprisingly, Eli secured himself on me instead of Loki, who opened the windows, allowing us to go out unseen.

I held on to dear life, knowing what was coming, but not that it mattered. In a split second, we were gone, prompting me to close my eyes as I braced myself for the worst. Sadly, everything around me was a blur, leaving me with little knowledge of where we were headed.

Loki didn’t let up at his speed until we arrived at the destination he had in mind. When my eyes fluttered open, we were in an empty park on the edge of the town, thanks to the fact that the shopping district was partly destroyed. The other park that we went to the first week we met also got hit, which meant everyone was all hands on deck.

Every race was working together to get Night City running again. Getting off the vampire, I once again felt queasy because of the fast, inhuman movement. Even though I felt like emptying my stomach, my eyes caught the vibrant variety of flowers that surrounded us. The petals emitted different hues, illuminating everything around us.

I was caught up by the pretty sight before the feeling of hurling my empty stomach came into play once again, urging me to run over to a nearby trash can. Thankfully, I had nothing to throw up, yet the gag still came as my eyes watered because of the reflex.

Argh! I hate this feeling!

I rarely ever got sick, but the worst was when I had to vomit.

“Hey, are you okay?” Loki walked over to me before patting my back.

A grumble left my lips as I felt nothing for his concern. All I wanted was a moment alone with Mr. Trashcan for some quality bonding moments.

My one and true love. I wonder if you’ll marry me because no one else will. What a fucking pity party I’m having for myself! Can this get any worse?!

“Just… peachy,” I mumbled in between breaths.

Before I knew it, he was suddenly gone with a gust of wind, prompting my heart to drop. My eyes darted around, trying to find the missing vampire.

Ah… did you… Leave me here?

My gaze quickly locked on Eli, who was floating by my shoulder.

Oh… I thought… Wait… why are you… Ah… it doesn’t matter.

Since nothing came up, I made my way to a bench nearby, slumping on it and groaning. Covering my face with my hands, I tried to get a grip on myself.

Everything is a mess.

“Why are you still here?” I muttered at Eli, who slid into my lap.

For a divine being, I was a bit too fragile.

This body doesn’t fit me at all. Why did Papa say I wanted this weak, puny, and easily manipulated body?

The moment Loki left, I felt like the ground under me was suddenly taken away. The only thing that stopped me from spiraling was when I saw Eli, who washed everything away.

Just what’s happening to me?

“Because Loki’s coming back with something to make you feel better, and I didn’t want to leave you alone. You don’t look well.” The snake announced, prompting my eyes to twitch.

Why do you care? I’m just a monster in your eyes.

“Why would a beast like you care about me?” I asked, placing the lid on my emotions.

Finally, my mask was in place, allowing me to analyze things more easily.

“Hah… Now you’re just being mean because you feel like it’s the only way.” He lifted his head towards me, tilting it slightly.

I wince in response to his words.

How dare you?! I’m—

“What the heck do you know about me?” I huffed at the familiar, who didn’t back down from me.

Instead, he slid up my chest and towards my neck. “Well, I want to know everything about you, Vivi.”

Something snapped within me when I grabbed onto his slender body before throwing him to the front, causing him to float instead of hitting the floor. My hands shook from doing that.

Ah… I… I didn’t mean…

I didn’t want him to hate me, yet it was all I knew how to do.

Anything else… isn’t real. Yes, I can’t be...

“What a pathetic being you shadow demons are. Even without having your memories, you still want me. Figures.” I sneered, shifting my gaze away from him.

I didn’t have to be nice, and I knew I had to distance myself from this, yet…

I care... No! All I have to do is assert my dominance so Loki will let me stay. That or… go into plan B, which won’t be a walk in the park. You’re jacked up thanks to my blood. Crap! Will I have to destroy this city to take you? Ah… I don’t really want to do that. I…

“True, I don’t have my memories, but I—” Eli stopped when his other half appeared again in my vision.

He carried a bag of food and drinks that he had gone to buy, along with the pill he had spoken about from earlier, which was there, too.

“Hah…I need to get a muzzle for you.” Loki sighed, prompting the snake to snicker as he handed me the bag to see a piece of bread and soda within.

He had gotten it thinking I needed to eat something light to make the queasiness go away.

Argh! Why do you care?! Don’t you see I’m your nightmare?!

“Sorry, I wanted to express our feelings for once.” Eli snorted at the vampire, who shrugged.

A sigh left my lips as I dropped the bag with goodies on the bench. My appetite was the last thing that I wanted to quench with everything that was happening.

You’re in the presence of a deadly goddess, yet you have the gall to behave this pathetically.

“Hah… What feelings? They’re the most useless crap in this world. It’s what got me into this mess, to begin with.” I rolled my eyes at Eli’s sentiments.

“Oh? Does that mean you caught feelings for me?” Loki asked, causing a throb to form in my body.

Ah… I do… but I won’t admit them to you.

“Caught feelings? In what sense?” I countered him.

He smirked, slamming his hands onto the bench, caging me between it and him. Having him this close after everything we had done was too much for my heart to bear. It was taking everything in me to keep myself from yanking him by his hair into another kiss.

Endure...

“Just admit it, sweetheart, you care about me.” The vampire confronted me.

No… Love is nothing but a weakness. Look at what it made me do. I risked everything just to make sure you weren’t hurt.

“Oh? Are you really a fucking fool?” I smirked, pushing him off me.

I stood up on my two feet, unable to back down from this confrontation in this lonely park we found ourselves in.

“The only reason I waste my time here with you is because I want to live. We’re both linked, and you’re destined to die! You’re nothing but a burden for me!” I declared, pointing to the left part of his chest.

He narrowed his eyes, studying me as Eli wrapped around his neck. A moment of silence passed, as I felt like I might’ve gotten across what we were meant to be, but instead, he broke out in laughter.

What?! Why are you…

“Hah, okay. Tell yourself that, sweetie.” He chuckled.

You…. How dare you!

I saw red against the boy who stood in front of me, who had the gall to face me like I was a normal girl.

I’m divine! I’m not something to be taken lightly! Yes… I’m... more than you can ever handle. Yet… Why do you hold me with such care? No!

I couldn’t allow this to continue. My mask was breaking once again, and if he saw the true me, I knew it would be the end of me.

“You’re so full of yourself, Loki! It makes me sick! Don’t you know you’re in the presence of a goddess?! Where is your respect?!” I knew this was the beginning of a struggle to convince me that the feelings that wanted to consume me weren’t worth keeping.

I’ll tarnish myself in your eyes and break free from the emotions you cause in me! Then I’ll take you and your brother captive!