Episode 36: Crow, Shark and and an Android: 01
Naruto sat cross-legged in the middle of the inn room, her face emotionless as she stared at the ceiling. Pervy Sage had disappeared on some… business… again. Apparently, he'd found a woman who might have information about Tsunade. But what kind of woman made him drag her along, and couldn't talk in front of Naruto? The only thing Naruto could think was that Jiraiya was probably on his way to leaving the inn broke and empty-pocketed after blowing all his money in some seedy whorehouse. Typical.
Naruto sighed—well, if a sigh could be robotic and devoid of any real emotion—before sinking deeper into her thoughts. The idea of going on this mission with Jiraiya was supposed to be exciting, but…why did they need an old woman like Tsunade for the Hokage's position when they had someone as amazing as herself, Naruto Uzumaki? She wasn't just good-looking—though that was an undeniable fact—she was also stronger than the Old Man Sandaime, she'd beaten Oro-something, Zabuza, Gaara, Haku, Pervy Sage (well, maybe not in an actual fight…yet), and definitely the good-for-nothing Kakashi-sensei. Dattebayo.
And yet, everyone said she wasn't mature enough. Mature, shmat-ure! Didn't she fight two zombie Hokages and win?! What more proof did they need? It's like they were intentionally ignoring her greatness.
Her mind wandered back to the scene at the village before they left. Sakura-chan was seething when she found out Naruto got promoted straight to Jounin. And Sasuke, well, he looked like someone had stolen all his birthday presents and then lit them on fire. He even demanded a rematch, which Naruto found hilarious considering he was still a Genin. Her junior! Hah! Kakashi-sensei? He was happy, but in that weird, lazy way of his—like he was only excited because now he had an excuse to nap. At least Iruka-sensei was cool. He'd treated her to ramen. Now that was a reward she could get behind. Dattebayo.
Just as Naruto began to consider whether she could fit in another bowl of ramen before Jiraiya got back, there was a gentle knock on the door.
"Pervy Sage?" she mumbled as she stood up, half expecting to find him with some ridiculous story about why he was late.
She opened the door, but instead of the spiky-haired perv, she was greeted by two men in black cloaks adorned with red clouds. One of them had what looked like a massive sword wrapped in bandages slung over his shoulder, while the other had dark, cold eyes and an air of familiarity. That second one...he looked suspiciously like the Bastard— Sasuke. Weird.
Naruto blinked a few times, her expression robotic as usual. "State your business," she said flatly. "I am a very busy person. Dattebayo." She wasn't really, but it sounded cool.
The one with the sword—who, upon closer inspection, looked a lot like a blue shark wearing clothes—grinned toothily. "She talks, too," he muttered, clearly amused.
The other, the more handsome and well-mannered one, took a step forward. "Are you the…great Naruto Uzumaki?" he asked, his voice smooth like he was reading poetry at a fancy gathering. "The undefeatable shinobi? The White Flash of the Leaf?"
Naruto blinked again. Was this guy a fan? Did she have a fanbase now? Followers?! Maybe even a cult dedicated to her awesomeness? Her eyes gleamed with newfound hope, though her face remained just as robotic.
"Why, indeed, I am the great Naruto Uzumaki." She struck what she believed to be a cool, dramatic pose, her frilly black dress fluttering a little in the breeze. She mentally noted how stylish she looked right now.
The smart one bowed his head in respect. "We come from a secret organization known as the Akatsuki. Our goal is world peace. We wish to cleanse the world from darkness. And for that, we recruit powerful individuals such as yourself."
Naruto nodded thoughtfully, pretending like she understood all the complicated words he was using. "I see," she said, crossing her arms. "I suppose you want me as your leader, huh? Makes sense. I mean, who wouldn't want me to lead their secret world-peace gang?" She was already picturing herself on a throne made of ramen bowls, leading the charge into some grand battle.
The shark-man let out a loud, booming laugh. "No, brat—uh, I mean, miss—we already have a leader. We'd like you to join as a…janitor, maybe?"
The well-spoken one quickly interjected, "As an advisor. A powerful figurehead for our cause."
Naruto raised an eyebrow—or at least tried to, her face barely twitching. "An advisor, huh?" she muttered. It wasn't exactly 'leader,' but it still sounded important.
But then, a thought struck her. "Wait a sec." She leaned forward, her eyes narrowing suspiciously. "Do I get free ramen coupons?"
The polite one remained stoic, but replied elegantly. "If you come to our village, where the headquarters is, you can have as much ramen as you desire."
"For free?!" Naruto's voice rose slightly with excitement.
"For free," he confirmed with a nod.
Naruto's mind raced. Free ramen for life? That was a deal of a lifetime! All she had to do was join this mysterious group of cool, cloak-wearing guys? This was probably the best offer she'd ever received. She didn't need to think about it for more than a second.
"Ooh, that's really tempting," she said, already imagining herself drowning in endless bowls of miso ramen. "So, where do I sign?"
And just like that, Naruto Uzumaki, the strange, robotic girl with glowing sapphire eyes, had no idea she was about to make the most questionable decision of her life—all in the name of free ramen.
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