Episode 34: Android VS Zombie: Final Half: 03
From across the battlefield, Hiruzen—busy dealing with Tobirama while his ANBU squad darted around like ninja ants—yelled out, "Naruto! Defeating them is pointless! They'll just keep regenerating! We need to defeat Orochimaru!"
Naruto blinked, her head tilting slightly to the side like a confused puppy. "Who?"
A loud, irritated voice echoed across the battlefield. "Do you not even know my name?!" Orochimaru screeched, still holding a hand sign, his snake-like face contorting in outrage.
Naruto turned toward him. "Oh, you," she said, her voice flat and unimpressed as ever. Without another word, she disappeared in a blur, reappearing right in front of the snake Sannin so fast that Orochimaru's eyes bulged in shock.
Before Orochimaru could react, Naruto shoved a golden Rasengan—infused with natural energy—right up his 'you-know-where'.
Orochimaru's eyes widened, his whole body trembling. "W-what the—AGH!" He screamed, his usual creepy tone replaced by sheer agony. The force of the Rasengan effectively crippled him, and the hand sign he had been holding so confidently broke apart. His control over Hashirama and Tobirama began to crumble.
Tobirama, taking full advantage of Orochimaru's sudden... discomfort, weaved through a rapid series of hand signs, muttering something under his breath before finally breaking free from Orochimaru's control. Hashirama followed suit, their undead, puppet-like expressions slowly returning to their natural, more dignified selves.
Meanwhile, Orochimaru was still clutching his butt, his face twisted in pure agony. "Curse you, Uzumaki!" he shrieked, struggling to form a new hand sign with shaky fingers. "This isn't over—"
But before he could finish his dramatic villain monologue, Naruto—still as robotic as ever—shoved another Rasengan into his hands, causing his arms to disintegrate into nothingness.
Orochimaru's scream could probably be heard from the Hidden Sand Village. With one final, agonized yell as he disappeared in a poof of smoke.
Naruto blinked, staring at the empty space where Orochimaru had been. "Huh," she muttered, clearly not impressed. Then, in true Naruto fashion, she struck a dramatic pose. Her cloak flowed behind her like a hero out of a comic book, showcasing her creamy legs, exposed belly, and even a glimpse of her butt. "I'll be ready, dattebayo."
Just as she finished her dramatic proclamation, her sage mode began to fade, and with it, Fukasaku—the tiny, wrinkly toad elder—disappeared as well. Along with him, Naruto's bright red cloak evaporated into thin air.
Which would have been totally fine, if Naruto had been wearing... literally anything underneath.
But she wasn't.
Naruto blinked. Then she blinked again, staring down at her body, realizing with all the subtlety of a frying pan to the face that she was now standing completely, utterly, butt-naked. Again.
There was a moment of silence. A long, awkward moment where no one moved, no one spoke. And then, finally, Naruto—expression still blank as ever—opened her mouth.
And screamed. Robotically.
"AAAAAHHHHHHHH."
Her scream was more like a monotone siren than an actual scream. It sounded almost mechanical, as if she had a button inside her that just said "scream" and someone had pressed it.
Hiruzen, still tired from his fight with Tobirama, finally sighed, rubbing his temples. "Can someone please get her some proper attire?" His voice was heavy with the kind of exhaustion only a lifelong career in leadership could bring. "Her form is… distracting."
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