I’m My Own High School Rival A Gangster Reborn as a Boy in a Matriarchal Clan World

Christina's Arc: Bend or Break

"I should leave your ass here for what you did to me," Christina smoldered through clenched teeth while sitting at her desk. I sat on the right side of the bed. Ayame and Yua flanked her and fixed her hair.

I hung my head low, happy to wear my ugly blue school uniform.

"I-I'm sorry."

"The worst part is you weren't honest, claim—"

"I'm so sorry!"

She turned.

Her beaming blue eyes ripped out my insides.

Then she sneered.

"I should remove a tooth as punishment."

I covered my mouth with both hands because removing a tooth is something I would have done, and something I know she would do if she's angry enough.

"But…the way you reacted doesn't make any sense."

She jumped a bit.

"I mean, I think you—"

"Shut up, or I'm leaving you here!" She gritted her teeth and then turned back to the mirror.

Ayame glared at me, but she didn't say shit. So, I reached out as if I were reaching for her, pretended like I caught her, and placed her in my pocket. She bit her bottom lip and turned away. Yua noticed, but she just blinked it off.

It's so damn hard being me, right now. Crazy girls surrounded me, and my crazy killer is living rent-free in my head. Damn you, Karma.

I leaned back and yawned.

"That's the fourth time you've yawned. Why don't you stay here and get some sleep?"

Because Shizuka will just hit me so she can hug up on my memories.

"I'm fine. Are you ready yet?"

"Give me a minute, girls. I need to speak with my consort."

They bowed and removed themselves rather quickly.

She walked over to me, and I started to panic. Then she sat in my lap and looked me in the eye. I swallowed one of my emotions, but I couldn't figure out which went down.

"Did I already tell you that I'm sorry?"

She grinned, wrapped her arms around my neck, and moved like she was going to kiss me by bringing her mouth close to mine, but stopping short. Then she veered toward my face before licking her lips.

The emotional whiplash was going to break me!

"Antwon, who said I was angry at you?"

"Um, you did."

She rolled her body, creating unnecessary friction, but waking up the boy in me. Then she touched my face with both hands.

"I'm not angry that you bit me. I just wish there was more to it," she said, gently bouncing as if she didn't know what she was implying or doing.

"Please stop, Christina."

She stopped but smiled maliciously.

"Why? You're clearly excited, and I don't mind bringing you peace. Just break the contract."

I held back my sigh.

"Why can't you just act like a fifteen-year-old girl for once?"

She stood up and towered over me. Of course, this was only because I was sitting down.

"I'm acting like a fifteen-year-old fucking girl, and your body reacts like a fifteen-year-old fucking boy, but your brain is acting stupid."

I grabbed her by the waist and pulled her back down. She did this weird, squirmy grind, but I think she was more excited about the position. I leaned in close, faces nearly touching.

"Christina, that was the most elegant thing I've ever heard you say to me."

She flashed her teeth in anger, then she raised her hand like she was going to hit me. I braced, but she only pushed me down on the bed.

She sighed and then stood up.

"You are a fucking idiot, but you're my idiot. I was thinking about packing extra clothing so we could stay at your premarital home, but now I'm not sure."

I nearly jumped out of my skin.

"W-wait, Christina. I'm sorry!"

"I know you are."

***

We arrived minutes before the bell. Antwon was exceptionally well-behaved in the car: He hugged me and even kissed my hand unprompted. A boy, of all things, kissing a woman's hand is unheard of, but a consort—a queen's consort.

I held my face and giggled in the hallway outside of Antwon's homeroom. My laughter also came from the knowledge that I had switched all my classes to be with him, but I had to keep him away long enough to make the changes without him knowing.

But I wonder how he's handling his first day back with a new title. I wonder how the people will handle calling me "Ms. Carter."

I giggled again.

"Ms. Tetsusen," Sakura called out.

I moved my hand. Sakura was standing in the hallway, huffing as if she had run here—maybe she did.

"Sister-in-law?"

Sakura grimaced, and I smiled.

"Why are—"

I wagged my finger, and she sighed.

"Sister-in-law, why are you here? Shouldn't you be at your homeroom?"

My smile widened.

"But, dearest sister-in-law, this is my homeroom, effective today. Don't worry, your brother and I will share every class moving forward."

"A-are you kidding me? He's going to freak out, and if you think he won't—"

I held my hand out, and like a good sister-in-law, she stopped talking. I lowered my hand and waved her over. Once she was close enough, I hung my arm over her shoulder.

"Sakura, do you still plan on fighting me again?"

She glared silently. Maybe she was afraid that I would choke her from this position.

"Yes."

"Well, sister, time isn't on your side, because your brother is becoming more ambitious," I said. I removed my arm and pulled the collar of my uniform, revealing the gift Antwon had given me.

"What the hell is… Did h-he bite you?"

I smiled.

A lover's bite mark is a less ceremonious method of claiming than a tattoo, but Antwon will get his soon enough. For now, Sakura will just have to face the truth—

"I swear, I'm going to kick that moron's ass!" she said, slamming her fist into her hand.

"Well, you'll have your chance, sister-in-law. We might be residing at your residence on weekdays, by my grace and with your parents' cooperation."

"That's, I-I don't know whether to celebrate or scream."

I placed my hand on her shoulder, causing her to tense up.

"Make the call, but don't tell Antwon, because I rather enjoy how well he's behaving himself. Telling him would ruin it."

She pushed my hand away.

"You can't stop me from telling him, Christina."

"Sure, but if you do tell him, we'll have to go home and sleep in my bed."

Sakura shrugged and raised her hands to emphasize her refusal in the empty hallway.

"So, what? It's not like it makes a—"

"Naked."

I ran my hand through my hair, letting it fall and brush against my uniform. I could hear hair rustling against fabric.

"Oh, dearest sister of what is clearly mine, how foolish to believe that your brother wouldn't give in to his male urges. After all, boys want girls just as badly if not worse."

She gritted her teeth in a show of defiance—but Sakura knew that it was only a matter of time before Antwon solidified his fate by fostering life within me.

***

While Christina and Sakura negotiated in the hallway:

The students in my homeroom circled me at the door, as the servants had at the estate. But they didn't say anything, like their brains were caught between two choices, only I didn't know either. I watched their blank faces as they watched me, but what were they looking for?

Cautiously, I stepped toward them the way a victim approaches their abuser, and the crowd shuffled with me, footsteps pattering around me. Once I had taken enough steps to distance myself from the door, my homeroom class circled me, and something—a name caught in my throat—but disgust rested too comfortably on my tongue to say it.

What the hell did they want from me? I hadn't wronged anyone before I ran away, or is this part of Sakura and Christina's aftermath?

I searched for the teacher, but she just stared like I was some spectacle. Then a familiar face made her way through the crowd. I only remember her eyes and cheeks because she had promised to protect me from Shizuka before we could put a name and face to her. Shizuka would have killed us both, but she was brave enough.

"Carter—Mr. Carter, I just want to say that I'm sorry—that I should have protected you regardless of Ms. Tetsusen's claim."

The crowd broke out into whispers, which caused her to look around.

"Is she stupid or crazy to say something like that?"

"She's risking her familial line."

"Somebody, stop her from talking."

Warnings and threats sliced through the air around me, but I wouldn't allow anyone to get hurt because of me.

"That's enough," I said, and the crowd fell silent. "Tetsusen didn't do anything wrong. I put myself in danger. I chose to leave my home without anyone knowing, and I-I—"

Why am I explaining myself?

I grabbed the straps of my backpack and held my nose high.

"I didn’t need her help or yours, so just back off. I got hurt because of my decisions, not anyone else’s claim."

"Okay, class, let's take our seats and prepare for your first-period classes," the teacher said, and the students slowly dispersed. I made my way to what I had considered my desk and took a seat. The girl who felt guilty took the seat next to me.

No good will come from this—I can feel it in my bones.

I watched her from my peripheral vision. She moved her chair next to my desk, and I pretended not to see her.

"Carter," she whispered. "I read that you were hospitalized because of the knife killer, and—"

I sighed and stared at my desk. No books. No paper or pencils, just empty.

"Her name is Shizuka Kurobane, and she would have killed us both if you tried to protect me."

"But you don't know that—"

"I watched her kill someone right in front of me," I said, turning to her, and the world started to blur. "He didn't even do anything, and she made me watch. It was just a game to her."

I wiped my face and realized I'd said it too loudly.

"I don't even know your name, so don't worry about me, just treat me like I'm a nobody," I whispered. I returned my gaze to my desk.

She rested her arms on my desk, and her hand came close to touching mine.

"My name is Mina Takano, okay. Carter, I'm so sorry that you were hurt, and that you were forced to watch someone die."

A knot tightened in my chest as images of him writhing on the floor, holding his neck replayed in my head. I bit my bottom lip, but I couldn't suppress the miserable feeling of surviving.

"Hey, hey. It's okay," she said, rubbing my back. "You don't have to hold back your feelings. It's a lot for one boy to live with."

It's been days since the incident, so why now? Why at school? I should have processed these feelings by now. I'm a grown—my soul is.

Faint sobs escaped me, and I covered my face with both hands. I thought that I could bear being back in school.

"Shhh. Come here. It's okay," she said in a sympathetic voice before pulling me to her. I should have resisted and told her no, but for reasons I couldn't explain, I folded the moment my head touched her shoulder. I wrapped my arms around her, embracing Mina.

I hated myself.

I hated that Mina was stroking my head.

I hated being weak.

I hated wanting protection.

I heard the sound of chairs scraping and feet shuffling, but I didn't know what it meant.

"Just what do you think you're doing?" Christina said.

"I-I was. He needed comfort. I couldn't—I mean—"

"Let go of him, now," Christina said. I could tell she was angry.

Mina stopped hugging me, but I didn't let her go, and then I thought about the danger I was putting her in and let go. I stood up, feeling the room watching me, covered my face, and made my way toward the door as I cried sporadically.

"Hey, Antwon, come here," Christina called to me.

I went to her because I didn't feel like I could win, and I didn't want to. She guided me out of the classroom and closed the door behind us.

"Come here and hug me," she said, pulling me closer and resting my head on her shoulder.

I hugged Christina, but I knew that we couldn't stand out here for long. I created enough distance to see her face.

"I'm—sorry. Please don't send me home," I said, as if her home was mine, too.

"It's alright," she said, awkwardly wiping my tears. "I'm not sending you home, hani, but I need to know what happened. Did somebody say something to you, or do something?"

I shook my head no. She walked me to the wall next to the door and sat me down.

"Okay, wait here and calm down," she said, and then walked back into the classroom.

***

I walked back into the classroom, leaving Antwon in the hallway. I came to find the girl who thought she could embrace what is mine, but she was gone, oddly enough, her backpack was still here.

Scanning the classroom, I couldn't help but notice how eerily quiet they were being.

"Well, well. How strange it is that one of you suddenly vanished out of a room with no windows or extra doors," I said, as I began slowly, pacing the classroom like a general inspecting her troops.

"When I walked in the first time, many of you were having conversations across the classroom. But now, you sit like jade statues." I dragged my fingers across each desk I passed, checking for cracks in its foundation.

"Am I not a queen?" I asked, stopping at the front of the class and standing in the position of rest with my hands crossed behind my back. "Well?"

"Yes, Ms. Tetsusen," they chanted.

"That's right. But I'm not your queen, or else you would all be dead!" I shouted, and then pushed my hair behind my shoulder. Some of the boys started to whimper, not cry, not yet.

"But I am a just queen, and your queen is kin to me, so I won't kill you. But not because I can't, but because killing citizens of other territories is frowned upon," I said, stepping forward, and then slamming both hands on the desk, causing the girl sitting at it to jump.

"Please, Ms. Tetsusen. Don't hurt my students," the teacher said, falling to her knees and groveling.

I turned and marched to her with intensity.

"So, you want to be a fucking martyr, then wish granted—"

The door opened, and I halted my advance and then turned to see that fucking coward, but it was Antwon. His eyes were red around the edges, and his cheeks puffy. He walked towards me.

"I'll be out there in a moment, so just," he grabbed my hand. "Just give me a second—"

"You're so loud," he said, and then pulled me to the door. Once we were out, he closed it.

"What are you doing?" he asked.

The hallways were still empty, but they wouldn't stay that way for long.

"Who do you think you are, asking me what I was doing? Last time I checked, you are… I mean—" His eyes started to water again.

"Oh, no.

No, no.

Don't do that, come here, and rest your head on me."

Fuck! Disarmed in front of my new homeroom. What a fucking day. I should have left him at home.

"Antwon, I'm sorry that you're sad, but you interrupted something—"

He squeezed me tighter, and it made me feel warm.

"It's okay, let's just go to our first period class—"

He leaned back and held my shoulders.

"Our first period?" he said through the sobs.

Did I forget to tell him that his classes are now mine, too?

"Yes—Antwon. I changed my schedule to match yours." His head dropped."I figured that it would be less damning if I changed mine. I could change yours instead." He whimpered. "I'm not the wicked woman here."

He wiped his eyes on his sleeve and stared at me, as if I were a stranger, or something. He squirmed free of my arms, my hug, and stumbled backward.

"I'm going to 'my' class. Do what you want, but give me this one piece of my life," he said through sobs.

The bell rang, and he turned around and walked away, and then students flooded into the hallway. I had considered pursuing him, but with him in this strange emotional state, other students would assume that I had hit him.

I leaned against the wall by the door and waited for the hallway to clear out. I'd give him this piece, or whatever that meant