Chapter Ninety Seven: Day Four: Paperwork
Christina's Arc: Bend or Break
The hallway crowd started to thin, and the students in my new homeroom quickly filed out, all but the little dove who thought I didn't know she was hiding under the teacher's desk. Now, I could have dragged her out by her hair and beaten her in front of the class, but that's less impactful than having the classroom produce her or forcing her to give herself up.
I continued leaning against the wall by the door with my arms crossed because going to my new class while Antwon was angry would only plunge him into turmoil.
"Thank you for everything, Ma'am," my prey said, slowly backing up out of the room. "I'll take the week off, but please continue to send me work so that I—" she said, turning her head and beholding me in all my grandeur. "I… I." I held up a finger and beckoned her. She closed the door, like a good little girl, and shuffled to me with her head hung low.
"M-Ms. Tetsusen, I didn't mean any harm," she whimpered out, not even looking me in the fucking eyes. "Carter was sad; he was crying, and I-I just did what we're taught, Ma'am."
I studied her face and body language. She wasn't a threat, not physically, anyway, and I'm not shallow enough to base a woman's value on her looks. But Antwon reacted to something in this pathetic girl.
"Why did you hide yourself from me?"
"I thought that you were going to kill me…"
I unfolded my arms and rested my hands on my hips.
"Maybe, but I wouldn't do it while Mr. Carter was still here. You'd have at least seven hours."
Her eyes raced to mine, and then she began to tear up.
"Oh, stop that."
She wiped her eyes with her sleeves, and then, with both hands in front of her, she gripped the bottom of her skirt.
"If you were comforting my boy, which is still wrong, then perhaps you aren't the one who needs to be punished. Now, explain to me what devastated my boy's feelings."
She blinked excessively, as if what I said confused her. Then her jaw dropped.
"Ms. Queen, you do know that he was attacked by the knife killer?"
"No fucking shit. Who do you think brought him back? Why the fuck would you bring that up?"
She tried to drop to her knees, but I grabbed her by the collar.
"Don't scream," I whispered, "but no amount of kissing my ass is going to—"
"Please don't kill me," she whispered through tears and fear.
I'd already planned on hurting her to deliver a message to the school, but I was curious about why bringing up old news hurt him so much. Also, I'm pretty sure my homeroom class is listening to us.
"Let's get some fresh air, girl," I said, and then directed her down the hallway and out of the building.
***
We exited the school building and walked to the student parking lot. Yua immediately stepped out of the car, and when she did, the dove fell to the ground. Pathetic. I grabbed the back of her neck and helped her to her feet.
When we reached the car, Yua's face was stone cold, her blade ready to breathe fresh air.
"I-I'm sorry, please," she cried.
"Shut up and get in the car, or my guard will cut you down."
Yua opened the back door. The girl crawled into the car. The door closed, and Yua's eyes cut sharply.
"Think of the paperwork, Your Grace," Yua whispered, and then she opened the door.
I climbed into the back of the car with the sobbing girl, and then I realized that I didn't even know her name. Not that it matters. She was a ball of sobs and snot. If any boy were to see her like this, she would surely die alone.
"If you kill me, please spare my family, Ma'am. I-I'm so sorry."
"For the love of the goddess, stop crying already!"
She took shallow breaths and held her collar.
"So—what's your name, girl?"
She picked at her fingernails, which made me want to slap her hands. But I wasn't here to critique someone else's behavior.
"My name is—Mina Takano, Ms. Tetsusen," she heaved out.
"Look, let's approach this endeavor as if we were on friendly terms, and your life and the lives of your loved ones weren't in peril. But don't be so foolish as to forget our stations."
She nodded, but didn't look at me.
"I need your eyes, Takano." She slowly raised her head and finally looked at me with shaky resolve. "Good. Now, what did you mean in the hallway with the woman who attacked what's mine?"
Takano looked down again, but quickly corrected herself.
"Carter named her," she said, causing me to clench my teeth. "He said that she made him watch as she killed someone else."
My eyes drifted from Takano's face as I envisioned breaking her legs, pulling her tongue out, and burning her alive because she didn't just attack him; she broke him, and he's been hiding it this whole fucking time.
"H-he didn't go into detail, but his reaction—"
"Shut up," I seethed through clenched teeth.
Why was I so stupid? I'd ask my sisters if they were fine after a tough kill, but that's different, right? Boys shouldn't— I mean.
"Fuck!"
"I'm sorry, Ms. Queen!" Takano screamed, collapsing into her hands.
"Shut the fuck up!" I screamed, lunging towards her, ready to pull her hair out and beat her senseless. But a knock on the window stopped me. Yua stopped me and mouthed the word 'paperwork,' and I thought about the stack of documents and disclaimers required to justify a civilian murder in another clan's territory.
I sat back in the chair. Punishing her would be quick and easy. I could make her disappear, and no one would question it, except Antwon. But if I make her useful, I could surprise Antwon; fuck, I could surprise everyone. But how do I do that?
"C-can I go, Ms. Tetsusen?"
Paperwork.
"Why, yes, you may go. But since I'm sparing your life against my better judgment, you will be in my service until further notice," I said with a smile.
"W-what?!" she squealed.
"Was that a rebellious tone?"
"No! I'm just…just…excited, I guess."
My smile gave way to a frown.
"You fucking guess?!"
"That's not what I meant, Ms. Queen," she cried, and quite frankly, I liked her better this way.
***
I made my way back into the building and up the stairs to my current first-period class. I pulled the schedule out of my pocket. Science, a subject I had no need for; war was simpler than whatever they could teach me.
I slowly pushed the door open. The class was set up with the teacher's desk at the back of the room. Unfortunately, she was spewing nonsense in front of the room, and I caught her attention. Quickly, I held a finger to my lips, stopping her from making an announcement.
Finding Antwon was easy, but someone else was already next to him, too close to him.
How many people do I have to punish today?
I took a seat at the table behind him, silencing the students who saw me with the same finger as I went.
Slowly, I pulled out the chair without alerting the other boy sitting at the table. Each table seated two students.
"—which is why the prefrontal cortex matters so much," the teacher continued. "It is the part of the brain responsible for judgment, planning, impulse control, and emotional regulation. Think of it as the pause between feeling something and acting on it."
I stared at the back of Antwon's head, at the boy who held me so tightly last night, and bit me, and then pretended as if he didn't know.
Fucking moron.
"When that pause is strong, a person can stop and ask, 'Is this wise? What happens next? Am I reacting, or am I choosing?'"
I leaned against the desk with my right arm and held my head.
He could have fucking told me that she made him watch another person die; it would have been nice to know, Antwon.
"But in adolescence, that pause is still developing."
My eyes flickered to the science teacher.
"So, a teenager may understand the right answer and still struggle to control the reaction. Fear, shame, anger, attraction, exhaustion, or embarrassment can move faster than judgment. The body reacts first, and the explanation comes later."
Was he ashamed of something? Why would she make him watch another person die? Just what did she hope to accomplish by doing that?
"This is especially true after trauma or intense stress. A young person may appear calm for days, then suddenly cry, lash out, freeze, or seek comfort when something reminds the brain of what happened."
I bit my thumb because everything was lining up. He must have held his emotions in, but why do that, Antwon? Don't you feel safe with me?
"That does not mean the reaction came from nowhere. It means the prefrontal cortex could no longer hold the emotional response back."
…
"Finally, knowing better and regulating better are not the same skill. That distinction is important."
Antwon raised his hand.
"Yes, Mr. Carter?"
"Are we going to discuss how the limbic system matures earlier, too?"
"While it is an essential variable when considering the impulsivity of the adolescent brain, it will not be on the reading assessment. However, you may use additional information, like information about the limbic system, for the essay, Mr. Carter."
I want to be proud of how smart he is, but I need to figure out…a lot.
"Now, I want you to work with your tablemate and map out the different regions of the brain on your worksheet. Once you've mapped them out, list their functions in order of relevance."
Oh, fuck this class.
"I'm glad you sat with me—" the boy to my left said before digging in his bag for something. "I thought I would have to move… M-Ms—" I held a finger up, but he seemed more confused than aware.
I reached over, placing his worksheet between us, and he blushed.
I hadn't even touched him and he's blushing; his worksheet was enough. Why can't you be this simple, Antwon? Whatever, this can't be that hard. Let's just look at the first question.
[Wernicke’s area is responsible for which function in the brain?]
Fuck! I don't need this shit.
"M-may I—I mean I-I can—"
"Geez, Antwon. You're so smart!" someone said.
"Not as smart as you are, Abby," Antwon said. I shifted from the paper to her, the girl sitting next to him.
I've heard that name before, but I'll remember it now.
"Okay, Ma'am. The Wernicke's area is— I don't remember if it is responsible for speaking or understanding language."
I looked at the worksheet. I hoped he didn't expect me to know any of these answers.
"Don't we make such a great science couple?" Abby said.
Science couple.
SCIence Couple.
SCIENCE COUPLE!
I stood, knocking my chair over. I focused on the blank whiteboard.
"C-Christina?" Antwon's voice rang in my ears. But I could only turn and exit the classroom.
If I start the paperwork now, I will be done by Wednesday.