Chapter Ninety Five: The Black Pearl
Christina's Arc: Bend or Break
"I-I love you, Knox," is what Shizuka's red fragment said while holding me tightly. The real Shizuka didn't show any attraction toward me. In fact, the real Shizuka only showed any real feelings when she was hurting people.
Her arms tightened around me, but the void left me devoid of emotions, including pain; however, I was so confused.
"I've never told you about the name Knox, just Cross. So, why do you know it, and why are you saying that you love me?"
Her arms loosened until I was free, and we drifted together in an empty void… Where are my shards?
"Shizuka, where are my memories?"
She slowly raised her hand, her red dress drifting with each motion, and pointed up, or up relative to our floating bodies.
Shock would have filled me if the void allowed feelings here. Every shard had distanced itself from us, or was it her? The shards typically come to me.
"Okay, that's different. Um, why were you loving on me, and why was there a me for you to love on?"
She placed her hands behind her back and leaned in closer to me. Her face was near enough to bite, because a kiss was the last thing going through my mind. Shizuka inspected me—first my face, then my chest, and my legs. I felt anger, but the void made quick work of that feeling. Shizuka began to pulsate.
"You don't have to want me so hard, Knox. I'm already here."
"Stop calling me that name, and where the hell did you learn it? Because I didn't give it to you."
She raised her hand, like she did when she held me captive. Was she really going to hit me for cursing in my mind? I clenched my fist. How hard could a weightless slap be? Her hand came down slowly, unfurling as it did, and delicately held my cheek.
"You don't know what happens to you when you're resting here, do you?"
I felt my eyes widen and my jaw drop.
"H-how would I know if I'm not here, Shizuka?"
"Would you like to know, Knox?"
"Yes."
Her hand dropped from my cheek and slid down to my collar. She pulled at it, bringing herself closer to me.
She smiled, something warm as she always had. But then she continued with her hands, making what looked like a circle or a heart by touching the tips of her fingers together and the bases of her palms.
"When you sleep, you become a beautiful black pearl, and the other fragments gravitate around you, quite ceremoniously, emitting a soothing sound—the only noise in this place—that's like music. I, too, am part of that noise. I'm also closer than the others."
"Oookay."
"No, it's better than okay, Knox. Our time together, though short, has had such an impact on you that you hold me closer than the rest of…well, anything. So, I reached out to touch you, to thank you for keeping me alive."
My skin crawled, but only for a moment.
"And when I touched you, I was pulled into your memories."
She broke the circle and laid one hand on my chest and the other on her own.
"I met Knox in all his beauty. I watched him… You killed. You tied a rope around someone's neck after binding his hands and feet together, and dropped a cinder block off the pier. 'It's just business,' you'd say. Another man, you beat to death for disrespecting your boss."
I wanted to scream, and I could have, but it would have lacked any true emotional dissonance.
"As for the rest of your pretty stones, they moved away while I was dreaming with you, Knox, and I love you. I don't love the boy before me, but the man trapped inside. The big, bold, beautiful creature that bleeds the same blood as I do."
I wiped my face upwards, fingers wiping away any idea of sanity, leading up to my hair. While awake, I'm stuck dealing with a sex-deprived girl who wants to treat me like an animal, and when I'm asleep, this.
"Listen, I'm not from this world."
"I know, Knox."
"And what you saw in the… You know? So, you believe me after that?"
"Yes," she said, placing both hands behind her back.
"Okay, well, the old me is gone. I'm Antwon now, and you need to respect that I'm not big and scary-looking, I'm not strong, and I don't kill people. I'm not a murderer—it was—"
"Just business. I know, Knox, but what's stopping you from becoming one?"
I looked around, knowing there would be nothing to distract me, but wanting a shard to float down and help me escape this conversation. When I could find nothing, as expected, I looked Shizuka in the eyes.
"Listen to me, Shizuka. Knox was a sad soul who lived for one shitty purpose: to serve the family. But this kid has people who love him. He's got a reason to live without blood on his hands."
…
"Oh, is that why you were alone on the bus to Gifu? Is that why you lied about seeing your sister, and is that why you were willing to let me kill you in the alleyway? There are many inconsistencies in your tale, Knox."
Shit. Shit, shit, shit. Who the hell does she think she is, telling me I had flaws? It's not like I planned on running into her, or saving Kai's ass. Shit just happened and wouldn't stop happening.
"Don't you dare—"
The sound of a low, long, guttural moan came from all corners of the void.
"Um, okay. Like I was saying—"
"Antwon, s-stop," Christina's voice echoed throughout the void.
I looked up at the assortment of shards, wondering if the voice emanated from one of them.
"Christina?" I said.
"As in Tetsusen, Knox?"
I set my gaze back on Shizuka.
"Maybe."
She smiled, but this time it wasn't warm, just creepy as hell.
"You're fucking one of the most powerful women in Kokiri; you could kill anyone and get away with it. With the court's unbridled power, you could order the slaughter of half the nation."
I slumped, feeling an invisible weight press against my shoulders. Shizuka's words didn't annoy me, but I wanted to be.
"First of all, ew. She's a child."
"So are you—"
"Shut it. Second, I invoked the final clause so she wouldn't touch me. Finally," I said, holding up a finger, "how do I wake up, like, right now?"
"Just sleep, so I can be with Knox."
I reached out and pushed her away, but I was the one who moved.
"Don't you touch me anymore."
"Oh, Knox. You don't have a say in the matter."
She drifted toward me, as if I pulled her with my desired emotion, an emotion I couldn't express.
She made a fist and flexed her arm.
I foolishly flapped my arms like a bird, trying to create more distance.
"I would wish for your dreams to be sweet, but I need you awake."
"No, no, no. This is my body. I choose—"
The world blurred into a sickening spiral of colors.
***
I sat up in Christina's velvet bed, covered in sweat. I touched my right eye, where Shizuka had hit me in the void, but the pain was gone. Was freeing her from her shard a mistake? Duh. My breaths were rapid, like I had been running.
"Gah. Uh, mhm."
I looked over at Christina—she was biting the sheets and gripping the side of the bed. I'm…unsure why, but she's also covered in sweat. But I, I didn't do nothing.
I touched her shoulder, and she flinched hard.
"What the hell, Christina!"
"Don't, nnh, no more, just go to your side of the bed, and let me rest."
My hand hovered above her shoulder, frozen in time. I didn't. Not again. Why does my body do shit while I'm asleep? Did this ever happen with Sakura?
I scooted to my side of the bed and lay there, listening to Christina's odd sounds, wanting to disappear.
"Christina, what, what happened?"
…
"Christina–"
"Don't act as if you didn't know what the fuck you were doing, and I don't want to hear 'I was asleep' because I'm not buying it this time."
"Christina, I—"
She sprang up, and I jumped back. She rose to her knees and shuffled toward me.
"Screw this. A foul is a foul, Antwon. Now, I'm going to do the same thing you did to me."
"B-but, Christina, I don't know what I did," I said, scooting closer to the edge of the bed.
"You fucking bit me!" Christina shouted and then lunged at me.
The impact of the lunge knocked us both to the floor.
I felt it.
I felt her bare body against mine.
I felt her hair brush against my skin.
I felt her teeth sink into my collarbone.
"Ouch! S-stop, damn it."