Chapter Ninety Four: More than just a Claim
Christina's Arc: Bend or Break
I stepped out of the bathroom, hair wrapped in one towel and my body in another, determined to leave the night with more than a cuddle. The lights were dimmed, creating a sensual atmosphere that no boy could resist or ignore. If I could not force his affection, I would persuade him through tempered allure.
Antwon lay on our bed, staring at the black television screen, which concerned me because I had given him the remote before I showered.
I walked to the bed, swinging my hips as I did. When I reached the side of the bed, I stopped and waited for his response. I brought both hands to the towel I was using to dry my hair and rubbed my hair dry. I flexed and posed in front of him as I dried it, but he didn't notice; he just stared into the distance.
Is he ignoring me on purpose?
How rude of him if he is, because I'm certain that I did no wrong to cause an infraction. Ugh. I'm thinking like my mother.
I unwrapped the towel around my body and let it hit the floor. Then I pulled the velvet sheets on our bed back enough to reveal Antwon's lower body, but he didn't react in the same defensive way. He typically sneers at me or makes a rude comment about how inconsiderate I am.
I sat on the bed and slowly sidled over to him. His eyes were cast low.
But he seemed fine when I returned from Trish's office. Sure, I didn't get any new information about my grandmother, but what does one expect from a woman who drinks in the morning? On top of that, the room smelled of sage, meaning Rika's ass was here, too. Both of them will pay for their deception in due time. Right now, I have more pressing matters to attend to.
"Antwon," I whispered, earning his glance. I moved closer, rubbing against his arm. I tugged the sleeve of his pajamas.
He rolled his eyes, pulled his shirt over his head, sighed, and threw it off the bed.
I pressed my chest against his arm and cooed my satisfaction in ceremonious rapture as his warmth became mine. If only he were always this submissive, his life would be filled with creature comforts.
My hand moved lower, seeking more prominent sources of warmth, but his pajamas prevented me from doing so. So, I tugged at the sheets.
He sighed, and I stopped tugging.
I exhaled: Getting his pants off is going to take more than a simple tug. His typical scowl is gone, and his melancholy gaze makes me want to cuddle him. Could he truly be so upset about not knowing more of Shimeko's history?
I lightly shook my head.
"Antwon, what's wrong?"
His frown deepened, as if he wanted to cry, but he fought back his emotions. He didn't say anything.
"What happened to you in the time that I was gone?"
Antwon closed his eyes.
My jaw tightened, and I clenched the sheets. He knows that I can't go further than cuddling because of the contract, so why?
Why won't he just tell me what the fuck is wrong?
My fist unclenched, and I reached for his face. I wanted to make him tell me because I… I stopped inches before I touched his face, hand suspended.
"Why do you care, Christina?" he finally said. Then he wiggled beneath the sheet and took off his pajama pants. "This is what you wanted, right?"
Then he tossed them to the floor.
I stared at the sheet covering his lower half as my mind pursued more sensual endeavors.
No, not yet.
I lightly shook my head.
"N-no, Antwon."
Yes, but now, I'll look like shit if I move closer.
"I care, Antwon. Why can't that be enough?" I said, burying my head into a pillow.
He gradually opened his eyes and turned toward me.
"But why do you care? Were you trained to care, or did you learn it from your mom?"
Fuck.
"Well, Antwon, you may be relieved to know that Trish did not teach me how to be with a man; in fact, she hardly taught me anything about interacting with people on an intimate level."
He clapped slowly.
"Congratulations on not becoming your mother's daughter, and Christina, I could tell, because you hadn't forced yourself on me yet."
The clapping stopped, replaced by a thunderous dissonance in my chest.
"What do you mean, Antwon?"
"It's nothing. I only thought—"
"What the hell did she do to you? I swear, by the gods, I'll kill that bitch if she's touched you."
…
Antwon turned away, staring at the ceiling.
My heart drummed faster.
After Shimeko killed Trish's grandmother for trying to impose some fucked up dogmatic law where she had the right to sample her fucking husband, she's dumb enough to attempt to reinstate it.
"It was just a hug, Christina."
I started to sit up, but Antwon pulled me in, hugging me.
"Christina, it was just a hug. I swear that nothing else happened, and if you don't trust me, ask Subaki."
Warmth surrounded me in Antwon's embrace. I fought back the urge to take in his scent, but found myself nestling my nose into his chest, inhaling. I wrapped my arms around his neck and tangled our legs together. I wanted to kiss him, bite his neck, and let him bite mine. But this was enough.
I'll deal with Trish later. For now, I'll savor what's mine.
Antwon's arms squeezed me, bringing our bodies closer. I wanted to stay embraced forever, but time waits for no woman, even if it's for someone who's also made of iron— I took in his scent and exhaled deeply.
You're more than just a claim. You're more than just my claim, but how do I tell you? Can I tell you?
I looked up and pulled him down, bringing myself closer to his collarbone.
"Can I bite you, Antwon?"
"Did you just ask to bite me?"
I resisted the urge to lick my lips, burying any cravings beyond cuddling. Antwon must have sensed me because he looked down at me, but he was still sad. If not my mother, what could the cause be? Is it me?
"Let's pass on the biting thing, but I do have a question."
The silk sheets caught between our bodies, enhancing the sensation.
I smiled sweetly at him.
"Of course, we can do more than cuddle."
He sighed.
His eyes cut low.
His arms loosened.
"Christina, can't you go, like, five minutes without thinking about that? I mean, come on."
"I get it, Antwon; however, procreation is one of my courtly duties as a bloodline sprout."
"Seriously," he said.
"Well, yeah, that and negotiating with the Orchard, threatening the Ash, and reminding the Bind of the ass-kicking they received from Shimeko."
He frowned as if I were making it up.
"Is that all?"
I blinked, trying to remember the full extent of what Trish told me.
"Besides fighting, I'll have to sign paperwork about things that happen within my territory."
Antwon raised an eyebrow and smirked.
"You don't sound as certain as you usually do—"
"If I've answered your question, then resume hugging me, so we can both sleep."
"First of all, that wasn't my question, and second, it's, like, six in the afternoon. How long do you expect me to sleep for?"
This day had taken its toll on me. Waking up in Antwon's premarital home, fighting with him in front of the estate, and being reminded of how poorly I handle a blade, just to be emotionally accepted but physically held at bay, is exhausting.
I placed my hands on his chest and gently pushed away. The silk sheets rustled. The surprised look on his face was somewhat refreshing.
"Let's start with your question, and then I'll explain why we are retiring early today."
"Um, okay. Christina, did you ever want to be something else, you know, besides a queen?"
"Like what, Antwon?"
"I don't know, like, a normal girl who draws pictures and plays with friends. Someone with brothers and sisters who didn't grow up to hurt people?"
My mind nearly went blank, but the answer was clear.
I rolled over and crawled to my side of the bed. Not because I didn't want his warmth, but because I needed space.
I have never thought about life outside of my throne. Why would I, with all the luxuries of being a bloodline sprout? Kokiri was at my fingertips, and no one could challenge me, and then you, Antwon. You challenged my love for my country and ignored my power as if it were nothing.
"Christina, are you okay?"
I closed my eyes, facing away from Antwon.
No, you foolish boy, and it's because of you. I've never needed to imagine life without the crown until you pulled me into your little world with all of its warmth. You, Antwon Carter, made me feel small, and I liked it.
"Go to sleep, Antwon. You'll need it if you're planning on going to school tomorrow."
I closed my eyes and tried to drift off to sleep. But the rustling of sheets was too loud. Then I felt an arm wrap around my waist, but I didn't react, though joy coursed through my body.
"Christina, this is the first time you've run from me. Did my question scare you?"
"Shut up and go to sleep."
***
Christina's body felt warm against mine, which almost made me happy that she had me strip, but it all felt wrong in a kind of right way. I mean, I do like it. I'm a fifteen-year-old boy with the hormones to match, soul be damned.
The rise and fall of her stomach slowed to a smooth rhythm, which meant that I could sleep.
She's cute when she's just a girl, but if she ever walks away, Christine won't exist—hell, if I give in, who knows how much that will mess things up. Would Christine be Christine with a different appearance if I were her father instead of Tsukikage?
She pushed against me and grabbed my arm, sliding her hand to mine and interlocking fingers.
That's disgustingly cute.
I closed my eyes and embraced the cold void within my mind, and, for the first time, it embraced me back.
When I opened my eyes, Shizuka was wrapped around me in an almost loving manner.
"What are you doing?"
She rubbed her head across my chest and looked up at me.
"I-I love you, Knox."