I Have a God Simulator

Luh Yao took a bunch of Kyoho grapes out of a bag.

He had bought them at a fruit stand on his way home. The owner was closing up for the night and sold them to him cheap—six yuan a jin, and he even threw in a smaller bunch for free.

Luh Yao peeled a grape and popped it into his mouth.

The grape’s unique tartness was balanced by a fragrant sweetness, and it had a full, satisfying texture.

Luh Yao sent one bunch of grapes into the Divine Hall and gave the other to Xiaohuo to wash and eat.

He propped up his feet, spitting out grape skins as he watched the simulator’s reaction.

The little people were ecstatic when they received the grapes.

"These are grapes! The God has granted us food again!"

"Miraculous grapes, from the land of our God!"

Unlike Luh Yao, the little people of the Garlic Tribe cherished every single grape. They planted them one by one in the most fertile black fields, waiting for the round fruits to grow.

Green shoots soon sprouted from the soil, and the first grapevines began to take shape. Because time in the Pixel World moved much faster than in the real world, the vines in the fields were soon heavy with grapes.

The little people of the Garlic Tribe picked the grapes and ate them with great relish. They chatted among themselves, enjoying the holiday their God had given them.

"Delicious grapes. A sweet and sour taste we’ve never experienced before."

"Why are the grapes so delicious? Is it because the God imbued them with Divine Power?"

"It’s because the mercy of the God flows within them."

"Does the God eat grapes, too?"

Luh Yao held up the grapes in his hand. "I do, and they’re delicious."

Of course, he had his reasons for choosing grapes as a Blessing.

In this Broken World, the variety of fruit was extremely limited. The only edible fruit available to the Garlic Tribe was the common red berry; the little people hadn’t cultivated any others.

Cultivating new fruits from scratch would take a very long time.

The various fruits common in stores today were once sour and small in their early days, only becoming the popular, delicious fruits we know through continuous human cultivation.

’I guess this counts as improving the little people’s diet,’ Luh Yao thought to himself.

Of course, the most important thing was the derivative of grapes: wine.

The Garlic Tribe now had several Hero Level talents.

Wizard Senjian, the shipbuilder Yulian, the Theology Prophet Hemira, the merchant Shang Li, the game boy Muke...

Luh Yao figured that surely, someone in this group could figure out how to get wine out of grapes, right?

The little people loved grapes. They planted a large number of vines, but it never occurred to them to crush the fruit and make wine from it.

They always washed the grapes meticulously, cherished every single one, and even prayed before eating them.

Luh Yao felt a headache coming on.

Their intelligence had increased, but so had their penchant for rituals.

The primitive little people of the past, who saw food as just food, were gone forever.

After their period of fervent worship, the tribespeople revered Luh Yao even more. They didn’t dare show any disrespect even to the food bestowed by their God, and this ironically restricted many people’s thinking.

Just as Luh Yao was about to cheat a little and have Isabel deliver a message, things took an unexpected turn.

[Nong Ang has invented ale.]

[Nong Ang has invented the small-mouthed, pointed-bottom pottery flask for Brewing.]

[The Garlic Tribe has learned to brew ale.]

—Great God, a Believer has performed a deed far surpassing his peers. Would you like to transform him into a Hero?

Luh Yao didn’t know whether to laugh or cry.

This was a classic case of a watched pot never boiling, while something unexpected flourished elsewhere.

It was a roundabout way of achieving his goal, he supposed.

He opened the Divine Hall and converted Nong Ang, the inventor of ale, into a Hero.

Nong Ang’s portrait was simple: a middle-aged man cutting wheat with a sickle. He had dark skin and wore a straw hat, looking utterly ordinary.

Beneath his character portrait was a single line.

—The wheat fields are so beautiful.

...

[Hero Lv1] Nong Ang

Attack 0 Defense 0 Knowledge 2 Mana 0 Luck 0 Morale 0

[Abilities]

Farming Lv1: Skilled at growing crops, with a chance to develop new types of food.

...

His portrait, his personal quote, his skills—everything about him was simple and rustic.

Nong Ang represented the countless unsung Farmers.

Luh Yao suddenly realized he’d fallen into a mental trap.

It wasn’t Heroes who invented and created things. Rather, it was because these people invented and created things that they could be called Heroes.

He had subconsciously gotten the cause and effect backward.

He had always been thinking of relying on the little people he turned into Heroes to constantly push the tribe’s progress forward.

’Wrong. It was all wrong!’

It was a moment of sudden enlightenment for Luh Yao.

’I should be placing my hopes in everyone.’

’I need to increase the population further and give the little people a relatively good and positive environment to live in. Some individuals will naturally stand out from the crowd and put their talents to use.’

[Population is the body.]

’If you want to get faster and stronger, you can’t just focus on lifting weights and doing squats. You have to train your entire body.’

...

The appearance of ale had a series of profound effects on the Garlic Tribe.

The first place the drink entered was the Beast Fighting Arena.

There, the little people held pottery cups of ale, watching the beasts fight in the arena as they drank with abandon, their excitement far greater than ever before.

Due to heavy drinking, friction often arose among the little people at the Beast Fighting Arena, which then escalated into brawls.

This led to a strange scene: while beasts were slaughtering each other in the center of the arena, the spectators in the surrounding circular stands were also beating each other up. The action inside and outside the ring was often in sync.

Soon, the game boy Muke and the merchant Shang Li came up with a new way to play.

The middle of the Beast Fighting Arena was divided in two: one side for beasts, the other for humans.

Human combat, like the beasts’, allowed no weapons; they could only fight bare-chested. The fighters in the ring relied on their flesh and blood to pummel each other until one collapsed or surrendered.

Before long, the Beast Fighting Arena had completely transformed into a stage for human combat.

Watching their own kind fight made the audience even more excited and eager to watch. They even began to spontaneously use Sea Shells to place bets on the outcome of the Gladiator fights, enjoying the double pleasure of violence and gambling.

The simulator kept popping up with notifications.

[Grapes have been integrated into the world.]

[The Garlic Tribe has invented a new profession: Gladiator.]

[Gladiators have become popular. Some people’s Morale has slightly increased, and their intelligence has slightly decreased.]

That last notification made Luh Yao wince.

’Their intelligence decreased?’

[Ale has become popular. Everyone’s intelligence has slightly increased. A new cultural trend is beginning to brew.]

’Good thing the ale balanced it out.’

Luh Yao breathed a sigh of relief.

[The Garlic Tribe has developed a fervent worship for the Beast Fighting Arena.]

He held his breath for a moment.

’Faith is about to explode again!’

Filled with anticipation, Luh Yao stared intently at the upper right corner of the screen.

But the number in the Faith summary remained unchanged.

Luh Yao calmed down a bit.

’This time, the fervent worship isn’t directed at me, their God, but at the Beast Fighting Arena.’

’Looks like it produced a different effect.’

Luh Yao looked down at the many little people of the Garlic Tribe, but there were no buff icons or anything of the sort above the pixelated figures’ heads.

The only change was that a crowd constantly surrounded the Beast Fighting Arena. It had become the entire tribe’s new landmark, completely replacing the old Monument.

Soon, the new profession of [Gladiator] appeared in the tribe. These muscular warriors trained in hand-to-hand combat every day, ready to compete in the Beast Fighting Arena at a moment’s notice.

Many of the pixelated little people would gather in circles to watch the Gladiators grapple and wrestle.

Luh Yao was also getting into watching the muscular men wrestle. But soon, a line of text on the screen left him stunned.

[The Beast Fighting Arena has advanced to a Wonder.]

[The Garlic Tribe has built its first Wonder.]

—You shall name it the ______ Beast Fighting Arena.

Luh Yao’s mind went blank for a second.

Then he slammed his fist on his recently repaired computer desk, nearly smashing it to pieces.

’So they’re just gonna force this on me, huh?!’

’Have they no shame?!’