I got isekaied but not the way I wanted (wished to be a girl♀ but I’m a guy♂ again)

「Katsumi」

This is supremely stupid.

After yesterday’s fiasco with Yukio, I had planed on dropping off the clothes his mother lent me at the dry cleaner, but I got curious.

They looked pretty good when I came home, so I wanted to see that again.

Well, I can report, they look as cute on me today as they did yesterday.

The low neckline tho… it’s not like you see can anything. It’s just lower than I’m used to and well, you can see that I have boobs, like for real, not some fake cosplay pieces.

Sigh.

So I… was… thinking… that… maybe, perhaps, just… like… this one time… to… just spendmydaylookinglikethisandgoingoutside!

It’s stupid, but…

I like wearing girl’s clothing, they look so nice and they make me feel all cute and pretty and give me this cozy feeling on the inside.

And as an aspiring future girl, that’s fair.

I think.

It isn’t weird.

If you look at it through that lens!

I was happy.

And this is my one chance.

I don’t have any summer girl clothes. Not really anyway. And that stuff Ouha gifted me is so flashy. I can’t wear that out, not during the day. I’ll draw too much attention and probably die of embarrassment on the spot.

And it’s my free day after all.

I should do something nice, like that’s what people do who aren’t horrible loser shut-ins and I’m not doing that this time around. I’ve gotten better and if this makes me feel nice so be it.

I stalk closer to the door.

My hand rests on the handle.

They’re not going to notice are they? That I’m not actually a girl?

I put on some light make-up, just in case.

Maybe I should wear a face-mask, then no-one would notice?

Probably.

And even when my voice isn’t up to snuff they’ll just think I have a cold.

Yes that’s a good plan.

I grab one from the counter and out I go, in the airy ankle length cream skirt and the peach colored top, with the well fitting bra underneath.

This is still totally nerve wracking. Best course of action is to keep reminding myself that they won’t find out. Imagining horror scenarios isn’t helpful and it’s more likely that I don’t get found out than the opposite, so assuming the more unlikely outcome is illogical and counterproductive.

Yes, need to keep that in mind.

I want to eat a nice cake like the one I had at the mall. That one was great, not that I had many fancy cakes with strawberries on top. It was literally my first. To think I never tried stuff like that in my old life…

So yeah the plan is: to visit the commercial districts I went to with Hotaru, that one had a few nice cafes and just enjoy my day out dressed as a girl.

I can still go back being a guy afterwards.

This is just my day off, so to speak.

My day off from being a guy.

I merely need to get it out of my system, so I can focus better. What did Yukio say? He comes rejuvenated down the mountain, this shall be my mountain.

────୨ৎ────

I tilt my head as if that suddenly would fix my indecision standing in front of the store front eyeing the pretty summer dress with its spaghetti straps that end in cute little bows where they are affixed to the rest.

I could just buy it.

I’m not hurting for money at the moment.

The morning after my hunt with Miori, my heart skipped a few beats looking at my bank balance. Having a cold 900.000 Yen more on it was a wild thing to see.

No, what am I thinking?

I was looking for a cafe not a summer dress.

Eh, no harm in doing something nice for myself, I can wear it later when I’m a girl. As long as girl-me isn’t like, significantly smaller than my current self. That seems to be a running theme in fiction. Question is, is it true for the real deal?

See, the problem is information is really sparse about the【MSCD3000】. It only ever gets talked about how it can undo the effect of the sex-change demon, not what those effects are in detail. The only information I have is that it changes a person's sex completely, and that includes very much how they outwardly appear. The rest is all about how great the device is and how it totally can restore a person’s sex.

But what about if you don’t wanna restore anything, because your current sex sucks!?

I walk into the shop, taking off my mask. I probably don’t need it anyway, I look pretty girly as is.

Anyway, I hope I get to wear this dress later when I’m a girl, would be a shame otherwise.

The interaction with the store clerk is all sweet and polite, less awkward than I imagined, and no I won’t try it on at the store.

That’s way too scary.

Can’t do that!

New dress in hand I make my exit.

It takes me another hour—yes I got distracted by more clothing, bite me(!), but I remained strong and didn’t buy anything else—to finally find a cafe that is to my liking. But my stroll was pretty nice so it’s all good.

The cafe has a western theming and these cute little pastries. I mean I have to try those! The privilege of looking like a cute girl and all.

I get myself a whole spread of them, plus a cup of milk coffee and pay at the counter before finding myself a nice place to sit.

As long as I don’t have to interact with people directly my nerves are relatively calm. It’s really great going out and getting the feeling of a skirt. It’s so airy and it swishes and I get to be as cute and as feminine as I want to be. As long as people assume you’re a girl you get to do all these things and people don’t think you’re disgusting or a weirdo for it.

Not having to think about how I behave is so freeing.

Also I’m fairly certain I had people comment on my appearance and had to doge at least two group of guys, so maybe I’m genuinely pretty in a way that stands out, even without Ouha’s flashy outfit. Not sure if that’s so good. If people look too closely… I’m not convinced that my little deception will stand up to too much scrutiny.

Eh, not important right now.

I eat my little pastries all delicately while scrolling through some videos and enjoying the scenery and my coffee.

I really should do that again.

No, wait! This isn’t something that should become a habit. It wouldn’t be good. It’d lead to same problems that I had with the gang.

Another thing: staying well hydrated and drinking a coffee might have is consequences. Leaving my things I make for the toilets.

Wait, shit.

I halt in front of the two doors.

Oh.

My eyes flit back and forth.

I know what aunt Ouha would want me to do.

But I can’t, I really can’t!

It wouldn’t be right.

No.

I mustn’t.

So…

Yeah, so there is only one choice.

Yes.

I’m a guy after all.

So that’s where I belong.

With a resolute step I make for-

WUAH!!!

A cute girl that can’t be much older than me pulls me through the employee curtain deeper inside.

She’s a little bit taller than me and I can see the black roots of her bleached light brown hair as she drags me along.

Around the corner she presses me against the wall, she isn’t too dissimilarly dressed to my every day outfit, only that her shirt is in pastel pink and has some sort of logo on the chest. Also her shorts almost reach her knees and she is about as flat as Chie.

With a fierce look the girl stares at me.

“Honestly what the fuck?”

“Eh?”

“What kind of stunt was that little miss indecisive, going for the men’s?”

“Uhm…”

“Do you want to get harassed? Because that’s how you get harassed.”

“Yeah but I’m…”

“Yeah I got that you’re trans, cis girls don’t usually fidget around deciding which bathroom to use to then go for the men’s.”

“I’m not… I’m not usually dressed like this. Also I’m not…”

“You can’t be serious. Are you saying you’re trying to live as a man!? How does that work out for you? Can’t imagine it does. Miss I-won-the-genetic-lottery who’s clearly on hormones out here faking being a man.”

“Hey! You’re being really rude.”

“Oh, did I hurt your feelings?” She mocks. “You know what’s really going to hurt? If you give them reason to doubt you, then it’s going to hurt for real, believe me. Don’t give them one. And keep your head held high.”

She has me boxed in, standing way too close with me pressed against the wall.

A male voice comes from what I presume is the kitchen, “Hey Mari, are you done with your friend?”

“Give me a sec”, the girl who has me corned shoots back.

I take her momentary loss of focus to extract myself.

She doesn’t touch me, or block my path, but tries to pull me back with her words. “Hey if you’re so nervous, take the employee bathroom right down there. It’s okay. I'll vouch for you.”

Her tone was less harsh this time, but she still seems majorly annoyed by something.

I halt and stare.

What have I gotten myself involved this time?

Her gaze softens, together with her expression. It makes her look almost compassionate.

Suddenly she is annoyed again and her eyes drop to the floor, she mumbles, “If you’re doing this man thing because of work, then… just come to us. Pay is good and especially someone with your looks could make a killing. It isn’t any thing shady!”

She presents her phone to me with both hands with a code to scan.

As I scoot over and—out of a sense of politeness—pull my phone from my hand bag, she adds, “Half the girls there are on hormones, you'll fit right in, and the owner doesn’t care what your family documents says.”

The website that opens on my phone reads: Crossdressing Maid Cafe “Liebe”

WHAT THE FUCK!?

Not shady!?

I feel my own face drop, and my villainess glare slips out.

The girl, Mari, doesn’t appear to be immune to it and physically pulls back.

I turn and storm out.

She is one of those people. No wonder she called me trans. I'm nothing like her!

Revulsion catches in my throat.

To be reduced to that, to be on display and be gawked at because everyone would know that I'm nothing but a crossdresser?

A freak for their entertainment.

I don't care how much money I could make, that's the last place I would ever work at. Don't care how many cute clothes I would be allowed to wear.

I don't ever want to be THAT!

… just a thing…

They would judge me, look for flaws…

What a vile girl, to think I'll ever be okay with something of that sort!

I take my shopping bag and leave.

I can go to one of the public bathrooms at the station.

I don’t have to go here.

────୨ৎ────

As I exit the subway to get home and just relax, I catch a blur of copper.

Yeah, not happening!

Not in the mood.

I make it all the way to the pedestrian crossing at the big road before she makes herself rather obvious.

A fox, its tail swaying gently, eyes trained on me, sitting on the other side of the road.

NOT INTERESTED!

The light turns green and I just walk past her, treating that meddling spirit as if she were air.

The taps of fox paws behind me.

Leave me alone!

I hasten my walk

She doesn’t let up.

Oh it’s on!

I make it to my apartment block, sprit up the stairs and close the door as fast as possible behind me, before she gets any bright ideas about pushing her way inside.

I rest my back against it with an exhale.

Take that!

I’m not in the mood to talk to her right now, because you never know. You could end up in a pencil skirt, or panties or with fox ears! That’s what you get for talking to strange women at night on lonely forest paths. It never ends well.

Uhm… why is it so eerily quiet.

I expected her to scratch at the door.

So just ignoring her works?

Surprising, but good to know.

“Does the little one intend to stay at the door for the rest of the day?”

『 ! ! ! 』

Her voice, but it was totally clear—not muffled or anything.

With trepidation I shift my focus slowly from the door past my tiny kitchen to what I can see of the rest of my flat beyond.

Sitting on my one chair, legs crossed and looking like a rich aunt on her vacation, Ouha beams her typical grin at me the moment we make eye contact.

“You!” I bark.

“Now I have to say, as much as I prefer you out of costume, this choice of dress if far too pedestrian for a girl of such grace. I do not wish to discourage you for this is so much more pleasing than your drab disguise, but you should wear something that better highlights your natural grace.”

“What are you… ? How did you… ?”

“We did not genuinely think closing a door on a spirit would keep them out? If that were the case what use would there be in calling a priest for aid? We like to be persuaded, you know? Much to teach, I see.”

“What do you want?”

“I wish for my dear little one to join me instead of remaining so far away.”

I begrudgingly take off my shoes and do as she asked.

As I come closer she holds up a cloth wrapped package.

“Does the little one have somewhere for us to take a meal?”

“Yeah, wait a second.” I grumbled grabbing the low folding table and two sitting mats.

While Ouha gets comfortable on the floor, making a very pleased expression, I get us two cans of soda from the kitchen.

She unfolds her package retrieving two bento boxs.

By the time I join her, her tail is out swinging in what I’m guessing is anticipation?

She notices my glance, “I shall tell you this sort of arrangement is far nicer when you have a tail.”

No idea what I should say to that. I’m actually lost in general.

So she just came by to bring me food?

Fine by me, as long as that’s all there is.

It’s odd, but whatever—better try and please her. Finding out what she’ll do if she ever gets truly angry with me is the last thing I need right now.

And she’s nice company, if a bit weird.

I say my thanks and start digging in.

It’s tastes really good.

“Did you make this?” I ask pointing at the pork slices.

“Fufufu〜 you have such silly ideas. It’s endearing. Since when do foxes make bento boxes?”

“So you stole them?”

There is a glint in her amber eyes.

She gives a haughty hand wave and proclaims, “Currency was exchanged.”

“Actually money, or leaves?”

A devilish grin splits her face and she leans to tap the top of my head, “So cute. The little one is green with envy, because she has yet to master illusions.”

“That’s not what’s happening you dense fox! There are cameras everywhere, they’ll catch you if you keep doing this.”

“I have not been caught for two centuries. There is no need to worry about your aunt Ouha.”

“Yeah? Then don’t come running to me when they do.”

“Fear not I would never burden a little cub with such an affair.”

I roll my eyes and continue eating.

We finish in silence and yet it isn’t uncomfortable.

With her around I don’t feel lonely.

Ouha tilts her head slightly.

“Sooo〜 will you tell your dear aunt was has you in such low spirits?”

This is the price for the meal?

It’s always something with her, nothing is ever straightforward.

My gaze falls, avoiding her as much as possible.

Why can’t she leave me be?

It would be so much easier if she would.

I feel her eyes on me.

My fingers pull on the fabric of the skirt that isn’t even mine.

I was supposed to return it.

I wanted to return it, like right after… after my… thing.

My head falls completely.

“It’s stupid.”

Suddenly, everything is so full and uncomfortable.

I press out in a flat tone, “Dressing like a girl makes me happy.”

I hold my breath for a second.

My voice is very small, “And it makes me so unbelievably happy when they mistake me for a girl and that’s so stupid. I hate it. I hate it. I really hate it.”

Everything is tense in me.

In a strange contrast Ouha sounds warm and open, “This tells us what?”

“No it doesn’t mean that I’m a girl!” I snap, my gaze burning into her.

She shows no reaction to my outburst.

“That was not what I was trying to show you. The lesson dear little one, is that you should live as a girl, regardless of if you think you are one or not, because it makes you happy, unlike hiding behind your silly boy disguise.”

I want to look away again but she somehow makes it impossible.

I’m being held.

“My dear little one you should be happy and you should take the opportunities that grant you happiness instead of refusing them.”

My chest is so tight.

“So I should just live as a girl? How would that even work?”

“You know how, don’t play dumb.”

I can’t.

“And I should tell people that I’m a girl even when I’m not?”

“As if that were so wrong?”

“Why am I even asking a kitsune if lying is wrong?”

“As if there were a lie.”

I glare.

Ouha leans back, inviting me to relax with her.

Yes I’m being stubborn.

I know!

Fuck!

I can hear my own hesitation as I ask, “Just live as a girl, regardless if I’m one or not?”

“Yes.”

“But…”

“You told me it makes you happy. Do you wish to spend your days in misery?”

“No?”

“Then you know what to do.”

“This is stupid.”

“It is not. Little one, please take what happiness is offered to you.”

Tears run down my cheek.

“This is so stupid. I was supposed to be a girl not this. It isn’t fair. It isn’t fair!”

Ouha moves over to my side and pulls me close. Her arms wrap around my waist as she presses me into her.

“You have become all soft and so perfect to hold, you know?” She says with her lips near my ears.

A hum is all I can manage.

“And you smell so nice, just like a girl.” Ouha purrs.

Like a protective blanket around me, I feel her.

I know I’m still crying.

The world is a blur.

But I don’t care.

Ouha is keeping me from falling too deep.

“My sweet little one.”