40. The Lady Doth Protest Too Much
「Katsumi」
You’re kidding me.
I make deeply annoyed eye contact with the fox sitting in front of my flat’s door.
After the two days of dull drudgery that was returning to work, I’m not exactly in the mood for whatever this is. I haven’t even been out hunting with the rain showers the past nights.
I mean I could have, but it would’ve been a miserable experience.
And of course the first time it’s clear skies I get this.
That’s just her style isn’t?
My teacher’s surprise appearance at the bathhouse isn’t out of my system just yet. I get the distinct feeling of being on someone’s leash, bound to some mischievous spirit I never asked for.
Others get cute little house spirits, I get this.
I give an exasperated sigh and the fox answers by scratching the door in a pleading fashion.
“Okay, okay I get it.”
I move next to it to unlock it.
“Can’t talk in that form can you?”
“Of course I can silly little miko.”
I jump at the unexpected voice coming from the fox right next to me.
With no care in the world she trots through the now open door and slowly rises, taking on her human form while I stand there frozen by the shock of a talking animal.
She beckons me with a bright smile, “Now come, we don’t have the whole night.”
“D-d-don’t do that ever again.”
“Do what? I have no idea what the little miko is talking about.”
Her smile splits into a grin.
She receives a groan as I join her and close the door behind us.
“Come shower and then get ready for bed,” she pesters.
“You don’t have to tell me to shower! That’s part of my routine! Also what do you mean, 'ready for bed'?”
“No questioning the wisdom of your teacher. Clean yourself.”
I give another loud groan and make for the shower.
What’s her deal exactly?
I give myself the old bare-essentials cleaning cycle, which makes me abruptly aware of how alien that feels with my changing body with its soft skin and developing curves.
It’s the contrast. I haven’t done the in-and-out shower in quite a while, not since I started this whole crossdressing business. I had felt like taking time and care was necessary. Now it feels like a violation of some sort, this was what I had done before.
I shake my head in an attempt to get rid of whatever rabbit hole my mind is about to crawl down while I step out of the tiny closet that is my bathroom.
The fox-spirit, who at present wears something I could only describe as rich aunt on vacation, hands me one of my oversized t-shirts and…
“No.” I dryly state at the panties she is holding in my direction.
“But they look so cute on the little miko and they’re soft and comfortable.”
“How would they be comfortable with all my extra bits?”
“You didn’t take notice of them last time.”
Ignoring her triumphant smile I walk past her and grab some regular underwear from my cupboard.
I pop my two pills and face her.
“Ready for bed my dear teacher.”
“No, you need to lie down.”
I comply while glaring at her.
“Better?”
“Yes, sweet dreams.”
Before I can react she taps my forehead with her finger and the world goes dark.
. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁ ⟡ ݁ . ⊹ ₊ ݁.
Disorientated, my eyes flutter open again, peering at the unnaturally bright night sky and the top of trees.
I’m lying on the ground.
Languidly, I start pulling myself to my feet. The different dress becomes immediately obvious, red hakama and all. The way my body feels is the second very obvious thing. Everything feels right.
She turned me into a girl again!
⋆ ˚｡⋆♡ I’m a girl again! ♡⋆ ˚｡⋆
No need to hold back.
I give a happy squeal, before I notice Mrs. Fox-spirit looking at me and stop as if caught doing something naughty.
Yes, right Katsumi, compose yourself in front of the nice spirit. Don’t wanna embarrass ourself like last time.
The spirit in question dressed herself in a head priestess outfit, with her big copper tail swaying behind her. A pleasant smile on her face.
A quick look around tells me I’m once more atop a certain hill in front of a familiar dilapidated temple. Though it’s looking far less dilapidated. The courtyard is actually clean and most of the warped and rotten wood walls and doors have been removed.
So it appears we are back in the spirit realm for more traditional shrine maiden duties.
At least that's my assumption.
I have to say, I appreciate whatever this is going to be to the 'after work' drink we got last time, less nerve wrecking hopefully.
I step up to my teacher to give a small bow.
“Thank you for turning me into a girl, that is very kind of you.”
She chuckles warmly.
“The little miko continues to be endearingly odd. There is no need to thank me.” She raises her eyebrow at me for some reason. “I shall tell you, if my student wishes it, I can leave her for an hour or two to let her explore herself.”
“What? Don’t say stuff like that! I’m not some kind of pervert.”
“There is nothing perverted about a young miss having a bit of fun with herself. I’d say the truly deviant behavior were if the little miko were to abstain.”
“I’m not… teacher you have a such dirty mind!”
I employ my death glare in hope it does anything.
It doesn’t.
Mildly disappointing.
I need this topic abandoned as quickly as possible.
“So teacher, what’s the task for tonight?”
Leaning down in a conspiratorial manner she states, “We, little one, shall continue restoring the temple. I contracted some helpful carpenters for the doors and wood work. In the meantime we shall dedicate ourselves to the roof.”
She points to a pile of neatly stacked roof tiles.
“Can’t say I have much experience on that front.”
“Oh me neither.”
My expression falls.
Of course she doesn’t.
She sets up a ladder and I step out of my sandals. Seems they would be a total tripping hazard if I’m about to be climbing all over the roof.
After a few steps I look at my white socks with curiosity.
Hu—interesting.
“Your clothes don’t get dirty as a spirit do they?”
My teacher is already half way up the ladder with a stack of titles, when she answers,
“Not in this realm no. If you wish I can change your clothes, it is no effort at all, I merely thought they were the most appropriate for the little miko.”
She reaches the top and heaves her package next to her.
I shout up at her, “That’s not needed. I was just curious why my socks remained pristine.”
I join her and we get to work.
It’s actually not that difficult, if a bit tedious. We go row by row, fix the misaligned ones and replace the ones broken. Thankfully all the corner and edge pieces seem to be fine, because those look a bit more involved.
It takes quite a while but after the first of the three buildings that make up the temple we move on to two the second.
We talk very little besides the basic coordination needed for our task.
After we finish, the second I’m about to move the ladder to the final and biggest building, my teacher stops me.
“We have done enough for tonight and we must not forget your education, my student.”
She directs me to the center of the stone courtyard.
“Have you kept up with practicing the spells I showed you?”
“Only the fire one. I thought mastering one before moving on to the next is the most practical approach. Also the illusion one looked like insanely difficult.”
“And yet you must master illusions too.”
Don’t like the usage of ‘must’ there.
Feels pushy.
“It hardly seems useful for demon-hunting.”
“Misdirection is one of the vital principles of any battle little miko. Now then, show me what you have learned.”
I take a deep breath, find a loose relaxed stance, get sidetracked by my the definitively not minor weight on my chest and how everything feels slight different but not in a alien unpleasant way. More as if everything feels just right. Yeah I totally should’ve been a girl, what more proof do you need.
Someone somewhere fucked up. Or I got cursed or something, like genuinely cursed.
What if magic had been real in my old world too and I was always supposed to be a girl but got cursed before I was born by some evil spirit?
Why does this make so much sense?
It is like, the explanation for my rotten life.
I couldn’t have succeeded. Fucked over before I had even left the womb.
Was the curse also interfering with me getting reborn as a girl and that’s how I ended up in this mess?
Wait where were we?
Ah, right, spellcasting.
I take another deep breath, concentrate on my right hand, and perform this intricate little flick with it. Where I pinch my thumb and index finger, somewhere between pulling a string while sewing and picking up a piece of paper with one hand.
As I do so, I speak the interaction with its odd syllables that sounds unexpectedly ephemeral with my currently high pitched feminine voice. It causes the hairs on the back of my neck to stand tall.
What a strange feeling.
My teacher gives a disapproving stare.
“What!? Don’t look at me like that! I’ve been at this for like a month. I trained every, single, day! If I’m good at one thing then it's keeping up with my trainings regiment. Magic just isn’t for me!”
“Your pronunciation was exceptional, but my student moves her hand with the grace of a newborn.”
“I… YEAH WHATEVER! Magic is fucking stupid! With everything else I’m doing I can see the progress. It might not be linear, but after a week or month I can usually see how I’ve gotten better and where I still need to improve. I’ve nothing to go off with these stupid hand motions. It’s a binary thing. It either works or it doesn’t. That’s not fair! How am I ever supposed to get better like this?”
“Little one, you should not imitate the motion, but the intent behind it.”
“That makes no sense.”
She seems to contemplate something.
“My dear student, it was us spirits who taught the humans magic. The spell of protection the midwife places on the unborn, the spells the construction workers carve into the demon shelters, the barriers your friend weaves, they all were once taught to one of their ancestors by us spirits. Over the generations, the humans lost many spells but still many remain. The human's understanding is poor, I must confess, but I shall teach you the art and it is an art my student. You draw out the intention you wish to manifest.”
She flicks her hand and a small green-blueish flame blooms in her palm.
“I did not speak an incantation as I have no use for it, and if you truly master a spell neither will you. Incantation were created by humans to help them cast magic. It is the ancient language of the shamans. Each sound, each syllable, has a corresponding intention and just as bigger kanjis are created from smaller ones, so too does each incantation carry the necessary intention. It helps the caster remember to focus their will.”
My teacher moves behind me and props my arm up.
“Now try again little one. Your pronunciation was perfect, let your voice and its rhythm guide your hand. Not a stiff imitation but a motion of intent.”
I do as I’m told.
Nothing.
No flame.
But I get goosebumps again, so something is definitely happening.
“Yes, better,” Mrs. Fox-spirt praises, while she lets go of me to watch me from the side.
“Again, little one.”
I try.
Nothing.
“Again.”
Nothing.
“Less harsh on the end, smooth motion. Again.”
I follow her direction.
Nothing.
We continue like this for what feels like an eternity.
Something tells me if I weren’t in this odd realm or a spirit, exhaustion would have long taken me, but no flame blooms in my hand.
Again and again.
Over and over I try.
It never works.
Finally I let my head droop.
It might not be exhausting, but this is so fucking discouraging!
“You have improved much, little one.”
“Yeah, still doesn’t work, does it?” I huff with frustration.
“And yet you have come far. Got the temper for some more practice?”
I grit my teeth, “Yes.”
If I ever wish to get this, right now is the time for it.
I want to get in position as the wind suddenly picks up and throws a single strong gust at us. It rips through the trees who creak under the pressure while the leaves sing the song of crashing waves.
In its wake, follows silence and the light of the moon appears brighter than ever before.
The silver light seems to filter strangely, it has an unnatural glint and glitter to it.
I strain eyes to make sense of what I see, as a tall female figure seems to manifest out of thin air only a few meters away.
I receive a painful slap at my chest from my teacher who hisses a low, “bow!” before going down on her knees to bow in reverence.
I ignore the apparition and do the same.
With my gaze now directed at the stone tiles beneath me, I hear light steps coming closer.
A voice rings out, warm and inviting like a soothing hot spring, “Rise you two.”
I raise my head to see a woman surrounded by flowing white silk, as if suspended under water.
What stands before me defies reality, a beauty so heavenly it fries your senses, not one of perfection but refinement. Reaching down to her ankle, is long, flowing, pearl-like hair of iridescent silver, same color as her eyes. Her skin is pale and fine. A smile so warm one can only imagine drowning in it. Behind her a fan of nine silver fox tails.
It’s my teacher who speaks because I couldn’t possibly utter a single word.
“Princess Yuzuki, what allows us such honors?”
“Oh, I wanted to see what has my little Phoenix Leaf so animated as of late. I needed my curiosity satiated.”
They know each other!?
“I have taken a student your highness.”
“I can see that.” Her focus drifts to me. “And who might you be?”
Is she talking to me?
Yes, right, I’m here too, gotta remember that.
I’m not invisible.
“K-Katsumi, your highness.” I stammer in the most enraptured girl voice possible.
Her eyes behold me, those pearl disks, they seem to see every facet of me.
“We are learning fox fire.” My teacher beams at the princess with the demeanor of child wanting to show off.
“As every young kitsune should.”
Huh?
Wait, that’s wrong.
I need to speak up.
“Uh… I’m not… this is a misunderstanding your highness. I’m human.”
Her gaze falls back onto me, piercing.
“Oh, is that so?”
“Yes.”
My mouth feels dry all of a sudden.
I notice the pressure of my teacher’s hand land on my head, gently stroking my hair.
“Do not listen to her, your highness. You know how the young are; so eager. I shall tell you she has great potential, she is a fine little cub. I have chosen wisely. I am sure your highness will be very proud of her one day. She is at current pretending to be a boy in the human world causing all kinds of mischief with it.”
What!? Why is she saying these things?
What’s going on?
“Teacher?”
I get overlooked like a small child among adults.
The two spirits are completely ignoring me.
An amused chuckles emanates from the Princess, “Oh my, doesn’t that make one nostalgic?”
“I’m not a kitsune! She is lying!” I cut in.
The princess looks at me with a slight frown.
A sudden shiver races through my body.
I feel the soft impression of a kiss on my cheek.
I turn to look in shock at my teacher, a cheeky smile on her lips as they retreat.
I stumble backwards, over something.
My balance is off.
It earns me a hard fall onto my butt.
Something is off—no, everything is off!
The night looks brighter, sharper, the sounds of the wind and the forest, they're clearer, somehow more distinct, as if there was something like a contrast setting for audio.
Something reacts that is part of my body, but shouldn’t be, strange, new, and yet I feel it!
I twist my neck to look behind me.
Fluffy copper fur.
“WUAH!!!”
I startle which isn’t good because with this thing that is somehow part of my body, my center of gravity is different and it seems to follow my emotions or something so I flop in an embarrassing stumble right back to the ground.
I wince from the pain which also draws attention to two things on my head twitching. I don’t need to touch them to understand what’s going on.
I stare at the kitsune who’s responsible for this,
“Teacher!? What…! What did you do to me!?”
I hear bright joyful giggling to my right and look up at the radiant princess.
She swallows her elation to say, “Seems someone needs to better control their emotions lest they might reveal their true form.”
I pull myself upright, which takes more time than I’m comfortable with. The extra movement and weight are throwing me off.
I glare at my teacher.
What is this? Why is she doing that?
What is going on?
I ignore her for a moment to plead with the princess,
“No that’s not—I’m not—that’s some stupid hex she put on me! I’m not… I’m human, please believe me. She did that to me. It’s a hex or something.”
“Young one, do you think it wise to lie to your princess after you’ve been so thoroughly found out?”
The slight giggle she had in the beginning is gone at her last word, replaced by something stern.
“But… “
I swallow.
What am I doing?
This right in front of me is a powerful spirit; a magical being, royalty, unbound, to whom I’m at best a funny little pet, and I’m trying to argue with her?
She could do away with me or curse me without a second thought.
The danger I’m in settles with a hollowing fear.