38. Of Sons Who Would Have Made Great Daughters
TEACHER!!!
She stands there, not as a fake salary woman, but a fabulous aunt twice my age. A bit taller, forcing me to look up to meet her gaze.
The full, red, silk kimono she is draped in makes her appear as if she just stepped out of a painting. Otherworldly and surreal.
She says something to the bathhouse lady but I’m still to stunned to register the words.
Is she really here?
She pulls me in and I get hit with her scent, pine needles and bark. I don’t know how to describe it, being held by her so close feels so warm and comforting, same as that night when I had her as a fluffy fur ball. I know it doesn’t make much sense, she currently has no fur to speak off and yet the feeling is the same.
There's no rest, she shepherds me out the door into night, towards the walkway following the river.
“Now then little miko, you have me thinking that I cannot leave you alone.”
“Hu? I…”
It’s hard to walk fast in this dress and sandals, and yet she makes it look so effortless. She drags me further into the dark.
We're alone next to the water, only the moon up high beyond the shade of the overhanging trees as our companion.
In the distance, further downstream, I hear the revelry of the festival winding down. Its sounds intermingle with the rushing stream.
Unsure what to do, I clasp the little bag with my belongings tighter.
My fox-spirit aunt lets go to face me.
“I have to say, I quite enjoy seeing in you in such fine dress. It suits the little miko.”
“Thank you.”
I want to ask her what she is doing here, yet somehow the words won’t come. I just look at her.
Why do feel like such a warm puddle right now, seeing her?
Frankly she has been nothing but trouble.
And yet, I want her to hold me again, as she just did.
Her face is hard to read with only the moonlight as my guide, but I think she's frowning.
Strike that, she's totally frowning.
Shit.
What did I do?
I she going to hex me again?
“But don’t you dare try doing something like this ever again, little miko!”
“What did I…?”
"Little one, you were about to expose yourself in front of men!”
“Hardly an issue, I am one.”
Out of nowhere, she strikes my chest with a fan. It wasn't there a second ago.
OUCH!!!
Shit, that hurts!
“That’s the last thing you are.”
“Yeah? Should I drop my underwear for you? Oh wait, you already saw me naked, when I came out of the shower drunk.”
“Does the little miko think she is making a convincing argument?”
She hits my chest again.
“Fuck, that hurts! Stop that!”
“Are we sensitive there? And yet we were so adamant showing these off to the men inside.”
I feel the cold of the night all of a sudden.
“No… that’s not. There were men inside?”
Her eyes go wild with fury, “Yes!”
She bares her teeth in way that looks eerily animalistic.
“I came here to watch my lovely student blossom from a distance, and yet she seems unaware of her own bloom. Determined to harm herself. You’re becoming a woman. This is hardly the body of a young child anymore. Act accordingly, little one.”
She speaks this new term of endearment she has for me with a chilling hurt.
“But I can’t follow the girls either, can I?”
There is no answer from her, only her still amber eyes.
That makes me even more furious, this whole thing is so stupid!
“So you’re at least willing to concede that point?”
Silence.
“You know I had a really great day until you showed up.”
“Little one, if you had continued on your path, your day would have ended far more ruinous than I could’ve ever made it.”
A shiver down my spine.
I see the men. A vision too familiar, of locker rooms, bathhouses, and school. Of them seeing me as I am now, and the panic that rips through me has my heart jolt with pain and my body flooded with ice.
Fuck.
I grab my own hand to keep it from shaking.
“So what? You’re stalking me!?” I snap.
“I am far too busy for such a thing. Yet when I find time I like to observe. I do enjoy seeing my student grow into the confident young woman she ought to be,” she takes my trembling hand, “and to keep her safe.”
There's that warmth again.
Why am I even angry at her?
My weird fox-spirit aunt embraces me.
She holds me tight.
This is all so stupid and unfair.
I nestle myself deep into her neck.
Close to my ear she whispers, “Perhaps ask the nice Mrs. you are staying with if you can take a bath there?”
I nod.
────୨ৎ────
I texted the girls that I was taking a bath at Mayumi’s place and that they shouldn’t wait for me. They’ll see it once they get their phones from the lockers.
Mayumi’s mom was super gracious and nice, letting me in and showing me the bathroom and everything.
She probably thinks I’m a regular girl.
Which I’m not. Those get to visit communal bathhouses.
Not me tho.
I locked the door and now I stand there unsure of everything.
Yeah…
This bathroom is crazy spacious and has a comfortable temperature. Night and day to my usual grooming conditions. I try to keep the mold at bay at home but it’s like, totally impossible.
I look around.
I feel so lost standing here.
I grabbed some fresh underwear—yes including another training bra, for later.
I would’ve also taken one of the oversized t-shirts I brought, but Mrs. Iwamoto rather unceremoniously shoved a bathrobe and a pajama set my way.
Couldn’t really refuse that, would’ve been super impolite.
Really don’t know what to do.
I eye myself with suspicion, stripped down and completely naked.
Yeah, this whole girl-puberty thing is definitely beginning to leave its mark, no denying it. They totally aren’t real breasts, but also yeah, no guy has a chest like that, tiny ass fucking cone tits.
I turn this way and the other.
The thigh situation getting out of hand, that's for sure.
I pinch them. They’re insanely soft.
I rub across them.
All of my skin is super soft, not only these newly thicker thighs.
This stuff creeps up on you, slow and steady changes that go unnoticed and then suddenly you can’t even enter the men’s bathhouse anymore, because your whole body looks a bit too much shifted into the female direction.
I feel the big grin plastered across my face.
Yes, if it weren’t for the dread pooling in my stomach this would be freaking fantastic.
As much as I love, love, love all these things, I also won’t be able to hide them indefinitely.
Nope.
Let’s not think about that.
You had a nice day Katsumi and your body feels better and looks nicer than ever!
YES!
With that, I skip over and finally take the plunge.
Mmmm… yes, bath…
(..◜ᴗ◝..)
My feet are killing me, these sandals do take a toll on you.
────୨ৎ────
It's the morning sun hitting my face that slowly drags me from my dreams.
I awake on unfamiliar bedding.
A primal fear grips me, the walls fall in on me, all warmth leaves me.
AGAIN!?
Am I someone else again!?
In a panic I rip the thin blanket away and look upon… by now familiar, slim hands.
I’m still pretty boy, still my new self, but it hasn’t happened again.
I slowly relax.
Seems I haven’t quite gotten over that trauma.
Great.
Can’t even talk to someone about this insanity, have to somehow get over this myself.
Center yourself Katsumi.
I’m safe.
I’m okay.
And being pretty boy isn't the worst. You have friends and people who care about you, and this body is slowly but surely feeling less alien, almost comfortable.
I look at my chest.
Okay, a lot more comfortable than the last one that’s for sure.
Thanks for the great clay Mr. Sadistic Douchebag, I’m putting it to good use.
Sitting there on the bed all alone in the guest room, I can say there's no going back to sleep after that adrenaline spike.
It looks to be really early but hey, let’s have a nice and lazy morning.
I get out of bed and put on the bathing robe from yesterday over my borrowed short sleeve pajamas, which I have to say is super comfy.
It’s also super girly.
Eh, who cares?
Maybe I got a reject, one our queen of darkness didn’t want to wear, so her mother shoves it into the hands of any unsuspecting guests foolish enough to stay the night.
There's no mirror in here to check, but I’m guessing I don’t exactly look very manly right now.
I chuckle.
After a day of nothing but girl voice, even that sounds strangely feminine.
Yesterday after the bath I was so spent, I dragged myself to this room, collapsed onto the bed and basically fell asleep right away. The girls must have come home later in the night. I’m glad they let me sleep all by myself.
I comb my hair with my fingers best I can and leave my room for some exploration.
Didn’t really have time yesterday to get the lay of the land.
I noticed a big dining area overlooking the garden on the opposite side of the house when coming in tho.
Maybe I can make myself some tea, enjoy the garden and wait for the girls.
The big dining room is easily located.
Warm light from the rising sun falls through the glass front.
I notice something stir in the adjacent kitchen and investigate.
As I peer around the corner, I see Mayumi’s mother already dressed, if casually.
“Good morning, Miss Katsumi.”
“Good morning, Mrs. Iwamoto.”
I receive a warm expression and decide to join her in the kitchen.
“Would you mind lending me a hand?”
“I was about to offer,” I reply with a big grin on my face and a bright melody in my voice. My steps are light and for a moment I feel the odd buzz from yesterday.
A glance at the gather ingredients tells me this is going to be one of those way too involved breakfasts. At home, when I was still living with my parents, we mostly had toast and omelets. Maybe some rice if there was still some left in the cooker from yesterday, and some nattō if dad wanted to be a bit extra.
At the Kojou residence, it was basically a fully prepared dinner each time, by the staff of course.
Mrs. Iwamoto directs me to cut the vegetables and tofu while she puts on a pot of miso and slowly grills some salmon in a pan.
I do enjoy cutting ingredients, in my old life when I was younger, I always helped mom out that way. If you get into the rhythm of it’s super tranquil. For a few minutes the world with all the problems retreats and it’s just you and the knife. And you can always see your progress. It’s right in front of you.
“So how long have you known my daughter?”
I bring my brain back online for a quick math session.
“About four months.”
“And you met how?”
“On a hunt. She asked me to join the team afterwards.”
I can’t help but smile at the memory.
“You must have made quite the impression on my daughter.”
I halt my work to contemplate her words for a moment.
She’s probably right.
I carry on with my green onion slices.
What does Mayumi think of me?
Mrs. Iwamoto interrupts my thoughts, “You’re quite the impressive young woman, Miss Katsumi.”
I feel the heat in my cheeks.
“You’re too kind, Mrs. Iwamoto.”
“I am not. I should tell you I know your father, Lord Kojou. We had business dealings, though I doubt he’d remember me.”
A sudden shadow steals my relaxation.
He looms tall.
Mrs. Iwamoto continues, her tone cordial, “I know he has only one daughter, he told me so himself. He was quite proud of her at the time and despite the striking resemblance, that is not you. You see, she graduated from school about nine years ago—the time I met your father. Your graduation was far more recent, was it not?"
No!
NO, no, no, no.
The knife drops.
It doesn’t fall far, at best a centimeter, down onto the cutting board.
A harsh noise in the peaceful ambiance of the kitchen.
I turn to her without meeting her gaze and throw myself into a deep bow.
“My deepest apologies, Mrs. Iwamoto, my intention was never to deceive you.”
“And you did not.” She doesn’t sound angry or disgusted. I look up, she still carries the same warm expression from before. “You simply let me assume and never corrected me. One might call that polite, to not embarrass me by calling out my mistake. That leaves the question why a young man would present himself like this? Did my daughter set you up to this?”
My fingernails dig into my clasped hands.
Stripped down and exposed in a foreign kitchen.
I want to be home.
Anywhere but here.
Anything but this.
I bite my own lip hard.
“No. I… I like dressing like a woman and… and… and... It's… it's…“
…
“I see… Mr. Kojou-"
“Please don’t! Not when I… please.”
My eyes sting.
“I suppose I can offer you this token of hospitality, Miss Katsumi.”
My tension falls away.
Thank you.
She continues, “You do seem to know which boundaries to cross and which not. You didn’t bathe with the girls yesterday and you did not spend the night in my daughters bed. And I meant what I said, you are an impressive young woman, who would’ve made a great daughter if your lot would’ve been different. I am not ignorant of the injustices of this world and well aware how some sons would make better daughters and some daughters better sons and yet we all have our places.”
I nod in agreement.
“That doesn’t mean we cannot make the best of it. Do you present yourself this way at work?”
“What? No. Never.”
“Or when you run your errands?”
“No.”
“So this is a thing for private moments? Excluding yesterday of course, in which I can very much see my daughter’s hand, so there is no need in denying it.”
“Yes.”
“I see.”
Her primary focus shifts back to the fish, which I take as a sign that this uncomfortable examination has concluded.
I take the knife and pick up where I left off.
It takes a few minutes until my hands stop shaking, but I have stuff to concentrate on and the comfort of something familiar.
Helping out and contributing genuinely makes me happy.
After a while I take the cut tofu, green onions and the rest and bring them over to Mrs. Iwamoto to put them into the soup.
Before I turn around to do the rest, the smaller woman catches my chin between her fingers and musters me.
“Strikingly gorgeous. It’s shame, honestly. You could’ve made a husband quite happy, if things were different. Though I suppose it is fleeting. Age will take this from you leaving only the man underneath.”
It won’t. The pills I’m taking prevent that. Even if I fail in my goal of becoming A-rank I won’t age like a man.
She lets me go.
We finish off the rest of the dishes together and start leisurely setting the big dining room table for the six of us.
As Mrs. Iwamoto sets down the tea kettle she asks, “I assume you are aware of my daughter’s inclination and her preference for the feminine?”
“Yes.”
“Miss Katsumi, if you allow me to be very blunt with you for moment. It will be hard for you to find a wife who would accept a husband with tendencies such as yours. Most would pressure you into abandoning them, which would be cruel, if understandable. Yet I can guarantee you my daughter will find them to her liking. That much is certain.”
“Hu?”
"Mr. Kojou," I wince as if struck by a whip, “would you consider marrying my daughter?”
“What… shouldn’t that be up to Mayumi?”
“At times, my daughter must be convinced of what it is for her best. She’ll come around. Her chasing juvenile infatuations in the city, having women share her bed, it will have to come to an end eventually. Same goes for you. As much as this seems to suit you and it does suit you. It has to end one day.”
“I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU!!!” Behind me, to back I hear Mayumi belt.
Stunned, I pivot to see her standing in the doorway, her face red with anger. Mrs. Iwamoto must have seen her. She must have known.
Saying these things with her daughter listening…
Mayumi stomps into room.
“WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU!?” she yells at her mother.
Mayumi grabs my wrist forcefully and rips me away from this scene.
She storms off with me in tow, through the hallways, putting distance between us and her mother.
She doesn’t stop until we've reached her room.
I look at three startled girls half naked or in their pajamas.
It all went so fast.
Mayumi sits me down on the bed while she remains standing.
“My mom just misgendered her and said some awful shit. Take care of her. I’m going to have a lovely mother-daughter chat with my mom.”
I'm… empty…