Renaissance
Self conscious anxiety surged once again as we joined the queue at the front gate of the renaissance fair. I tried to tell myself that I wasn't embarrassed to be seen with Carolyn and Deyha… but I kinda was. They owned their mods with a level of confidence that naturally led to questions, and worse yet, answers.
Carolyn seemed to have no reservations sharing where we came from and why we looked the way we did. It was a point of pride for her after all.
Meanwhile, I was zoning as far out as possible, staring past the line and gate at the mysterious fairgrounds beyond.
“What are you hoping to do here?” Ellen nudged me. She’d asked like five times over the last few days leading up to this trip and I had never really had an answer.
”If they have turkey legs I’d usually go for one of those, but I don’t think I should.”
“Why not? You aren’t constrained on your diet right now.”
”If even one person here knows that the whole point of our milk is to be vegan, then the fact I’m not producing won’t matter in the slightest.”
”Ah. Fair point.” Ellen folded her arms as she pondered her next suggestion, so I tried to head her off.
”I’m probably just going to tag along for whatever shows people want to see and browse the market stalls in between.”
”Cool, cool. There’s also activities to consider. A miniature archery range would be pretty standard—“
”Well I have to drag Deyha there.”
”Hmm?” Deyha turned to face us. “Do what now?”
”Ellen thinks there might be archery, and I personally want to see how competent you are with all the available weaponry.”
”Oh really.” Deyha raised an eyebrow. “And why would I have any experience with bows and arrows?”
”Pleaaaaase.” I clasped my hands together. “Nobody has ever won me a stuffed animal from a fair before! I’m counting on you to help me create this essential experience~”
”Well when you put it that way…” Deyha trailed off as a fancily dressed little boy began calling for attention, and the line curved somewhat as everyone repositioned to see what the fuss was.
”Attention!” He repeated. “We are going to open the gates in just a few moments but before we do there are some matters to address!”
I zoned out again as the safety talk began, outlining where we could find water, where to go for emergencies… I mean, I paid a little attention, but I wasn’t nearly as enthralled with the accent and showmanship as some of the other people in line.
Finally, he began introducing the royalty— of which we were naturally their beloved subjects— as well as the various members of their court.
The lord artificer was immediately my favorite. A smaller fellow that could be either thirteen or thirty held up his ineffible tools: a brass candlestick, and a plastic bird skull.
He milled about the line, asking if anyone needed something “artificed” or “otherwise enhanced”. I racked my brain trying to come up with something amusing before he wandered by us.
“What is your fee?” I asked him as he paused near us.
“No fee, no fee.” He insisted, “I am employed by the crown to be a public asset, so in a manner of speaking, your taxes have already secured my services.”
“I see… hypothetically, if I needed to slay a dragon—” I glanced not so subtly at Carolyn “— how should I equip myself for such a task? Can you recommend a smithy or armorer?”
His eyes flicked to Carolyn for a moment and his smile faltered.
“Hypothetically~” Carolyn whispered in my ear as she held the back of my collar “you should choose your words very carefully.”
The warning was definitely directed at me, but the small lord was either a hell of an actor or he was a little scared.
“I-If you have a conflict with the noble dragoness might I suggest a peace offering? The king does frown upon violence within his court.”
“The lord artificer is wise.” Carolyn pulled my chin to face her. “You could learn a thing or two.”
“I prefer to fuck around and find out” I smirked at her.
She raised an eyebrow and released my chin for a moment as she reached into her satchel. She held up the familiar clip of a certain leash, but didn’t fully pull it out of her bag.
“On second thought—“ I turned back to the artificer, “peace sounds like the better option. Where would you suggest I look for something befitting her… stature?”
He seemed relieved as we landed on more familiar territory, and he gave a quick run-down of his favorite places for sweets, savory treats, and shiny trinkets.
”Mmm, perhaps I will be sending you on a few fetch quests as you call them.~” Carolyn rubbed my back as I rolled my eyes.
“As our distinguished guests—“ the artificer looked between the two of us, “we would of course be honored to assist in tasks such as this.”
”Oh, no no.” Carolyn draped an arm around my shoulder. “This is my dear pet’s purpose. She lives to serve, isn’t that right?”
”Yes master” I drawled sarcastically “Can you believe this?” I gestured at her as I confided in the artificer.
”If I may speak candidly… No? I’ve never seen such exquisite makeup. You truly appear to be a dragon.”
”Here we go~” I muttered as Carolyn’s eyes lit up.
”I’m not wearing makeup— though I suppose you’d expect that response if I was a method actor… Hmm… are you familiar with gene modding?”
”For like— medical stuff?”
”Precisely~” Carolyn’s smile widened. “This is all permanent.” She waved her hand down.
”Whoa…”
”We’re from Tristate farm, look us up some time, I’m always thrilled to do custom work~” Carolyn winked.
”You already have a massive backlog.” I reminded her, but she shook her head.
“Not so, you have already so generously provided for rather immediate results for our newest friends.” She nodded at Ellen and Rose, “The new and improved process is nearly finalized and once we have a date for Mazer to stand by… well, things are about to speed up quite dramatically.”
”Does this mean you’ll take a vacation?”
She laughed and spread her arms wide. “And what exactly do you think I am doing this very moment?”
”Fine, fine.” I glanced at the artificer. “She’s a real workaholic, but it seems I was mistaken about the backlog. Are you feeling particularly inspired by the fine work you’re seeing today?” I pointed thumbs over both shoulders at Deyha and Xander.
”I… I could never…” he stammered as he looked around. “The tails are real too?”
“Yep!” I half turned and flicked mine to demonstrate, expertly brushing Carolyn’s knee with the tip, but whipping it away before she could make a grab for it. “Poor Carolyn got really high and dropped her tail in a panic, and she hasn’t regrown it yet.”
I was still looking at the artificer to see how the joke landed when Carolyn caught my collar. I heard a metallic click and felt a slight tug as she pulled me closer. “You want to say that again?”
I shook my head.
She held the bell as she brought her lips to my ear. “I want you to have fun today, but the next time you try to be cute at someone’s expense the leash will go on for fifteen minutes. Any further incidents after that and it will be for the rest of the day. Understood?”
“Moo…” I tried to speak quietly. Chills washed over my shoulders as my breath came out in a huff.
Goddamn pavlovian training. I could have sworn I didn't have a humiliation and degradation kink before I arrived at the farm— or perhaps it had only been a hypothetical kink. Now the idea of being walked around the fair on a leash was physically arousing and exciting, even if I was consciously panicking.
Carolyn unclipped the leash and I turned to fuss with my bag. I was desperate to convince myself that the entire scenario hadn’t just played out in front of a stranger.
The lord artificer swayed in place, seemingly unsure what to do or say.
“Oh look!” I pointed to the back of the line. “A distraction!”
He looked first and then seemed to realize what I’d said. It took another full second to realize the implication.
“I… would be remiss if I didn’t investigate!” The grand performative tone reappeared half-way through his reply. “If you’ll excuse me~”
Deyha reached between me and Carolyn to hand him a pamphlet. I’d actually spent quite a bit of time formatting and designing the new one so that we could create them in-house rather than commissioning a print shop, and with Ellen’s help I was able to create a much better crash course explanation for the pamphlet’s intended audience— without outright saying “we do freaky stuff, come check us out.”
Deyha hadn’t even said anything as she handed it to him. No embarrassed apology for our antics, or her own plug for the farm… and the fair employee was similarly discreet in nodding and tucking the pamphlet into his shirt.
He bowed low, displaying impressive form and balance, before setting off down the line.
“That could have gone worse.” I muttered as I turned back toward the gate to the fair grounds. The line had begun to move, so I kept step with Carolyn as she continued to hold me close.
“As expected, my camouflage is impeccable.” Carolyn held her chin high, and I glanced at her outfit again. Her long black cloak perfectly matched her silky doublet and the array of belts and pouches amidst her satchel perfectly obscured the tell-tale pockets and beltloops of the black jeans she was wearing.
All the buckles and buttons had been painstakingly either painted or replaced to have the appearance of gold, and several plastic chains dangled somewhat nonsensically, primed to be decorated with the exact sort of baubles and trinkets she expected to find on sale here. She even had a glass vial holder that she’d jammed a few ordinary crystals into.
Meanwhile my ‘matching’ outfit was a pink and white maids outfit. When Carolyn had told me what she’d chosen I’d braced myself and dreaded a low cut neckline and skirt that barely reached down to my thighs, but the reality was fairly modest. It was just a simple pink dress with a white apron, and I was able to wear my usual comfortable bra without feeling smothered by the extra layers of fabric. The dress, like Carolyn’s pants, was a little anachronistic with its buttons and pockets, but the apron covered most of that while also lending the lacey fringes that I felt would be expected for a maid outfit.
Deyha however had simply cut the legs off of a pair of overalls and called it done. Her plaid shirt made absolutely no effort to appear old fashioned, but you wouldn’t catch me complaining. Usually her shirts were pretty long and loose, tucking under her toolbelt as often as not. Today though the overalls fit her waist and hips perfectly, the way the front of the overalls folded to snug up under her breasts was an absolute attention-stealer for me, and I’d already made her a little self-conscious with my staring today.
Ellen wore her usual street clothes, a teeshirt and jeans, with the notable addition of a cape like Carolyn’s but Xander and Rose had both clearly dressed for comfort with no regard for theme or dress up. Given that the convention costumes had been part of the stress that set off Rose’s seizure, I wasn’t surprised they would be taking it a little easier this time.
“We blend right in…” I muttered as we inched our way to the gate.
Through the opening I could see the thoroughfare lined with shops, and right at the beginning of the market area a cluttered signpost cluttered signpost directed well over a dozen directions.
“First stop is the VIP tent.” Deyha handed me a ticket. “I just want to be sure everyone knows where it is and how to get there before people scatter.”
I turned the ticket over in my hands. It seemed painfully easy to counterfeit, but I supposed counterfeit tickets were only really a concern when it was for a lottery or something.
Unlike the convention, there were no metal detector stalls, and the blips and beeps of the wands the royal guard used were largely ignored. They simply didn't care if people brought in their own food, and when it came to prop weapons they had an immense stash of zip ties to fix blades in place.
“Careful, Deyha. They might have to ziptie your arms~” I teased.
She raised an eyebrow and lifted an arm, that alone seemed to strain the plaid fabric, and the rolled cuff was strained to its limits as she did a quick flex.
“Im just glad I don’t have the scorpion barb anymore, that would be a nightmare.”
“Maybe they would just assume it was foam?”
Deyha shrugged.
“The real concern we should have anticipated is your horns~” Carolyn held the back of my neck as she used her other hand to test the sharpness. “Maybe they have some pool noodles we could cut up.”
“You know they would probably do the same for your horns.” I fought the urge to brush her hands off, and settled folding my arms as I stared defiantly up.
“Mine? No, they don’t even point out~”
As I watched, her horns curled and tucked down closer to her scalp, resembling a circlet more than ever as gold bands appeared around them at regular intervals.
I leaned to the side to get a better look. “Seriously? That's so~ cheating.”
“I could do yours next~” Carolyn mused as she reached up to hold my horns.
“I… if you want…” I avoided eye contact as a familiar warmth settled in my chest. At least it wasn’t between my legs, but there was something weirdly intimate and comforting about Carolyn reshaping me.
“You’d agree to that? I thought you wanted your horns?” She dropped her hands to my shoulders and I begrudgingly met her gaze.
“I… you already know that the procedure Mazer did prioritized subconscious desire over my more practical considerations. I don’t want pool noodle horn covers, and… it might be a little bit of a relief to not worry about poking people with them accidentally.”
“Do you want to get rid of them?”
I shrugged. “Maybe just super tiny— though I’d feel bad to deprive you of your handlebars.”
Carolyn’s eyes narrowed. “I suppose it would be wasteful to just grow them back whenever I want something to hold on to…”
I felt a weird tightening sensation on my scalp, and when I reached up there was a somewhat tender sensation, as though I’d been numbed for a procedure but it hadn’t worn off yet. What remained were a couple of nubs, probably the size of ping pong balls, so big enough to clear my hair, but not by much.
I realized I could just get a look at them with my camera, so I took a quick selfie, making sure to capture the group candidly in the background. Ellen noticed and made bunny ears behind me, but I caught Carolyn mid eye-roll.
”Any other tweaks you’d like while I’m at it?” Carolyn rubbed her hands together and then began to knead the flesh of one palm.
”No… do your hands hurt?”
”No, no…”
I folded my arms and glanced meaningfully as she continued to pinch and rub small circles with one thumb..
”It's fine. It's only whenever I use the crystals in my finger bones and arms. My best guess is they are trying to re-align themselves but they can’t.”
”That… really sucks? Surely Mazer can do something about it?”
”I wouldn’t want to trouble him.”
“And you get onto us for ignoring pain.” Deyha had her hands on her hips.
”Okay, okay, fine! I’m sorry!” Carolyn waved her hands in frustration. “I’ll talk to him about it later.”
”Have you tried just using the crystals while your arms are in the nope zone? Maybe that would let them shift around and get situated.”
”You’d probably feel that.” Carolyn looked at me skeptically.
Deyha was already shaking her head. “Out of the question.”
I groaned. ”I’m a big girl, just misappropriate some anesthesia and I’ll be fine.”
Carolyn rolled her eyes again before turning to the gate. She held out her ticket and I followed suit as the guard directed us to the VIP tent.
”That might work, but I’m still going to run it by Mazer first.”
”Smart.” I was tempted to make a jab about how she should have done that for several other things, but that would easily earn me some leash time on top of just being mean. Like, sure she’d caused problems for me and Deyha in the past but she was actively trying not to repeat the mistake. Why did I have the urge to tease her about it?
”I can see the gears grinding in your head…” Carolyn was massaging her wrist again. “Want to share with the class? Or are you just going to stew?”
”Actually, I’m going to keep my snark to myself, thank you very much.”
”You say, snarkily,” Carolyn chuckled, “Fine then, keep your secrets~”
”I’m soooo sorry for avoiding leash time in public. I know it's a real bummer for you.”
Carolyn clicked her tongue and shook her head. “If I were just a little meaner I’d clip it on for that bit of sass alone, but I suppose I should reward good behavior. Or something.”
”Or something.” I grumbled, but I hugged Carolyn. Strangely, she didn’t return the embrace. Her breathing caught but she continued to take slow even breaths as she switched which hand she was working out soreness.
“It hurts that much?” I eased my grip to look at her properly. Her shoulders seemed tight, and I could see tension in her brow.
Her eyes flicked to Deyha for a moment before returning to me, and I couldn’t help but think she was actively planning out how to downplay the issue.
“It’s not a serious pain.” Carolyn slipped her hands into her pockets. “My brain may be telling me that my bones are being shattered into thousands of pieces, but I know better. It’s mind over matter.”
I folded my arms and leveled a scowl. “And that’s different from me and Deyha ignoring hoof pain?”
I could tell we had Deyha’s attention again, and Carolyn seemed chagrined looking between us.
“It’s completely different. Deyha tolerated suboptimal mods because the fix would cost too much, and you seem to just downplay pain across the board. I know my arms aren’t broken, and eventually my body will stop telling me they are. It will just take some time to acclimate.”
“Doesn’t sound fucking different to me.” I folded my arms, but Deyha shrugged.
“No, I think Carolyn is right. I agree with you that maybe we can work with Mazer to reduce the strain she feels, but Carolyn and I… we know how to understand our pain.”
“And I don’t?” I rounded on Deyha, “what the fuck? You tried to tough out multiple broken bones without anesthesia!”
“I’ll admit that was somewhat self-destructive—“
“Somewhat‽”
“Maddie.” Carolyn’s tone held a warning, but it stoked my anger even as I lowered my voice.
“This is fucked up. Why is it that when Deyha powers through pain it’s mature and when I do the exact same thing it’s so goddamn concerning?”
Carolyn resumed walking to the VIP tent. “The difference is you had no reason to just accept chronic pain. I made so many overtures to emphasize what should and shouldn’t hurt and you simply reclassified pain into fatigue to not inconvenience me.”
“You just stated the reason. I didn’t want to inconvenience you.”
“I’m not your mom.” Carolyn had her hands on her hips now. “I’m not confiscating your pain pills out of some opiate phobia. It’s not the same.”
“So I have some bad habits!” I pulled my hair back out of my face as I paced in front of the VIP tent. “But I’m working on it, okay?”
“I know, I know,” Carolyn held up her hands “Sometimes it just seems like you struggle to identify pain in the first place.”
“Of course I do!” I continued to pace. “It took me three weeks to realize I broke my arm in middle school, I didn’t even cry because I guess that had already been trained out of me.”
“Wait, really?”
I gestured at my arm “Yeah, this bone is crooked— or, nope I guess it’s not anymore, still, how am I supposed to tell the difference between a bruise and a fracture? And don’t just tell me it feels broken. That’s such bullshit.”
“That’s weird.” Carolyn glanced from me to Deyha. “I’ll have to do some research… what was it really like for you when you were experiencing the crystal surgery Mazer was doing?”
“It hurt.” I shrugged “My arms were cold, my bones ached, so I just… tried to get past it I guess.”
“You said it felt like barbwire.”
“Yeah, that's as good of a comparison as any. It was sharp and constricting.”
“What about burning? Or like lightning? I'm starting to think we don’t mean the same thing by ‘sharp’ in terms of pain.”
“She seemed fine.” Ellen spoke up. “We only stopped because I said her hands felt cold. The freezing was only bothering me. She said it hurt, and I believed her, but I don’t think she shed a single tear.”
“I did in the shower.”
“But that was after a long time.” Ellen countered. “If it was like all the bones in your arms were being broken you should have been blinded with agony, unable to stop crying or even screaming.”
“That’s dramatic.” I rolled my eyes. “The only trauma that breaks my focus is stuff with my head. Concussions and what-not.”
“Concussions‽ Plural‽” Carolyn spoke up again, “Maddie what the fuck?”
“Jesus, Carolyn, chill! It was a long time ago.”
”Sorry, sorry, and you said your mom was always dismissing your pain? I wonder…”
”Wonder what?”
“Nothing, forget about it. I’m sorry for winding you up.” Carolyn held out her arms and I begrudgingly accepted the hug.
”S’too bad the bite rule doesn’t go both ways because I bet I’d get like half a dozen chomps right now— Hey!” I pushed her off of me as I felt her teeth pinch down on my ear. “What was that for?”
”I’m sure you earned it at least once during that whole conversation.”
”You have no proof! If you wanted to claim a bite you should have counted it in the moment!”
”Oh you like it when I count do you?” Carolyn’s tone slipped easily into teasing again, “Well it wouldn’t be very nice for me to trigger Pavlovian responses while we’re having a serious conversation~”
”This conversation is over.” I grumbled and brushed past her into the VIP tent. It was a pretty simple set up, some dining tables, a few fans, a cooler with water and such… I sat down at one of the tables next to a fan.
“So this is the emergency meeting place? I should come here if we get separated or something?”
“Mhmm.” Deyha eased herself down next to me. I leaned on the table as she scratched my back. "Though hopefully this time there's no catastrophic reception loss."
"Don’t jinx it.” I muttered.
“We’re going to go check out the whip show.” Xander announced as she tugged Rose toward the exit. “We’ll meet up for the joust?”
“Sure,” Deyha’s hand paused on my back. “Let us know if it's any good.”
There was a murmured acknowledgement, but Xander was already hurrying off.
I rolled my eyes as Ellen sat across from me and began petting my head.
“Didn’t know there was a petting zoo.” I muttered.
“Gee~” Ellen scratched lightly at my scalp. “That sounded a little self deprecating, referring to yourself as a zoo animal… Don't you agree, Carolyn?”
“Judas.” I grumbled and buried my face in my arms as Carolyn sat down beside me as well.
“Looks like it’s fifteen minutes of leash time then~” Carolyn tugged at my shoulder until I was sitting up again and I glared at her.
“That hardly counts, and I wasn’t even joking at anyone else’s expense.”
“Ah, but I didn’t say it had to be someone else. Self deprecation is well within the agreed parameters.”
I continued to glare at Carolyn as she clipped on the leash, but at least Deyha was still giving me a back rub. That counted for something.