How to Ruin a Romantic Comedy

I hadn’t struck with the valid striking area of the shinai, but with the blade part just below it.

Simply put, it was a failure of range control.

After that, I couldn’t even manage a proper attack and ended up giving away two points in a row, sealing my defeat.

I was still trying to figure out what was what when it ended with two strikes to my torso. She must have been attacking me for real.

‘What a shame.’

But my heart felt refreshed.

Why? Because even if I didn’t score, I had landed a solid blow to Renka’s psyche.

I had accomplished my goal of becoming the star of the event.

Renka would remember me far more vividly than Tetsuya, who had sparred with her so seriously.

That was all that mattered.

Still, it was strange.

I had never done kendo, or any similar martial art, yet when I moved on instinct, an incredible scene unfolded.

Is this the talent of a protagonist? It’s so sweet.

“Junior Matsuda.”

At Chinami’s call, I looked up from where I was cleaning my protective gear with her in the storage room.

“Yes?”

“That was so close. You could have scored a point against Renka…”

Chinami’s voice was somewhat subdued.

She wasn’t jealous that I had almost scored a point she couldn’t.

Chinami wasn’t that petty.

Her reaction was most likely… because after seeing me strike Renka’s torso, she was seriously debating whether or not to start teaching me the high stance.

I scooted over until I was practically glued to the cross-legged Chinami’s side.

Then I gave her a bright smile.

“It was all thanks to you, Master.”

“Huh…? Thanks to me?”

“I saw you attack Senior Inoo’s torso during the second match. I was just trying to clumsily copy that.”

“Y-You were…? How did you even see that…? Are you a genius…?”

“I’ll give you a massage to thank you.”

“Huh…? No… I didn’t do anything… Eek…!”

A cute moan escaped Chinami as I gently took hold of the back of her neck.

I could feel the soft, fine hairs at her nape.

I gently pressed the area with my fingertips, giving her a massage that was more of a caress.

“Haaaah…”

Chinami let out one of her characteristically drawn-out sounds.

Her body went limp, her head moving whichever way I guided it.

So the back of her neck really is an erogenous zone. Her reactions are fascinating.

“Eek…!”

Clenching her teeth, Chinami jerked to the side, escaping my grasp.

Her face flushed, she panted as she chided me.

“Junior…! I told you…! Grabbing someone’s neck without permission is…”

“Are we strangers?”

“W-Well, we are master and student, but… this isn’t right…!”

Not right? For some reason, that sounded kind of hot.

“I was just trying to give my master a massage, as her student.”

“I’ll accept the thought…! From now on, please ask first…!”

“Understood.”

Seeing me back down so readily, Chinami took a deep breath and shifted on the floor.

She sat down next to me again, stretching her neck from side to side before going back to cleaning her gear.

Chinami licked her lips, completely focused, whether she was recalling the massage or just thinking about food.

I held out my phone to her.

“Master, can I get your number?”

“My number? Oh, right… You might have questions about kendo.”

Unless you bring it up first, I won’t be asking a single thing about that.

I’m just going to chat and mess around with you.

Chinami tapped her number in with her dainty hands and returned the phone to me.

“You have incredible potential, Junior. It might be a good idea to increase the proportion of high-stance training starting tomorrow. But you have to master the basics, too. You have no experience and don’t properly understand the mid-level stance, which is why you were helpless from the second match on.”

The tale has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the violation.

“Got it. But does this mean you acknowledge me?”

“It was an attack that couldn’t be denied. But you must never get arrogant. Understood?”

“Yes. I’m so happy to be acknowledged by my master. Should I buy you ice cream?”

“What flavor? I… Oh! No… To celebrate, it’s only right that I treat you. I’ll bring you some peach-flavored ice cream tomorrow. All you have to do is enjoy it, Junior.”

“Are there any other flavors?”

“I like peaches.”

“You’re not going to ask my preference?”

“There’s no one who doesn’t like peaches. I’m sure you’ll like them too, Junior.”

Chinami would probably be great at sales.

No one would be able to refuse if she used that innocent face to pressure them into buying something.

I wanted to touch the back of her neck again and get her worked up, but Chinami was still in the early stages of my conquest.

Constant stimulation might just create resistance, so I held back.

Leaving the kendo club, I saw Renka and Tetsuya talking quietly.

Renka was doing most of the talking, seemingly giving him advice.

As I approached them, Renka crossed her arms and asked.

“Where’s Chinami?”

Her voice was quite monotonous, as if she were trying hard to appear calm.

“She went to the restroom for a minute. Are you two heading home together?”

“We are today. And… I need to apologize to you.”

“For what?”

“It was a guidance match, but I beat you too easily.”

That wasn’t a statement meant to salvage her bruised pride; it was genuine.

It was also an apology to herself, a reprimand for losing her self-control and cornering me.

I shrugged, brushing off her apology as if it were nothing.

“It doesn’t matter.”

“…I’m glad to hear that. And you… don’t try to teach Chinami anything weird.”

“Anything weird?”

“You know what I mean. That something-something breathing… That kind of breathing technique doesn’t exist in this world.”

It’s your favorite character’s technique, and you call it ‘something-something breathing’?

Why pretend you don’t know when you do?

You’re the type to go to Comiket, pant in front of your favorite artist, and beg for an autograph…

“You heard that? How?”

“I, I just happened to overhear… Anyway, don’t do it.”

“I was just joking around.”

“Chinami is a naive person who’ll believe what people say unless you explicitly tell her it’s a joke.”

“Fine, I’ll tell her it was a joke later. Happy?”

“…Yeah. Good work today… I’ll be sure to guide you properly next time we spar.”

Next time we spar? Forget guidance, you’ll just be seething with frustration.

A picture of you falling into despair, realizing you can never defeat a ferocious male like me, and finally acknowledging me as a predator…

I’ll make that happen one day.

“Alright. I’m heading out.”

“Okay. See you. You too, Miura.”

Tetsuya simply responded with a polite bow toward Renka.

After parting with Renka, I walked toward the parking lot, glancing at Tetsuya, whose shoulders were slumped.

We had both challenged her, but he had made a fool of himself while I had done the exact opposite. His self-esteem seemed to be plummeting.

You have a knack for kendo too, so keep working hard.

And it’d be even better if you could let your inferiority complex explode every now and then.

I slapped Tetsuya’s back. Whack!

“I have no idea what’s up with you today. Straighten your shoulders, you punk.”

Tetsuya winced, the slap apparently quite painful, and flexed his back muscles as he nodded.

“Yeah. Thanks, Matsuda. But did you have to hit me so hard?”

“That hurt? You’d probably break a bone if you tripped on the street.”

“That’s not it… Oh? It’s Miyuki.”

Tetsuya’s face brightened as he looked ahead.

Following his gaze, I saw Miyuki, who had been waiting for us in the parking lot, walking over.

“Matsuda-kun! Why are you hitting Tetsuya-kun?”

She approached, craning her neck, her voice completely devoid of any real reproach.

I waved a hand in annoyance and asked Tetsuya threateningly.

“Did I hit you?”

“Ah, well, you did, but…”

“I hit you?”

“N-Not for real… It was a playful tap for encouragement…”

Hearing his answer, I turned back to Miyuki.

“See?”

“Matsuda-kun. Who’s going to speak honestly when you make a scary face like that?”

“There goes the mother-in-law nagging again. I should just shut that mouth of yours…”

“Why would you shut my mouth? If you’re going to shut anything, it should be your ears… Kyaaah!”

Miyuki shrieked and jumped back.

It was because I had reached out to grab her.

A grin on her face, she fled all the way to the front of my car. As soon as I unlocked it with the smart key, she quickly hopped into the passenger seat.

I clicked my tongue and grumbled to Tetsuya.

“She gets more mischievous by the day. Is she like that with you, too?”

“…She’s even more playful with me.”

I know. That’s why I plan to forbid the pranks she plays on you, one by one.

“Sounds tiring.”

“Not really… Isn’t it fun?”

“I guess? Let’s just go.”

“Yeah. Thanks for the ride again today.”

On the way home, Tetsuya refused to say a word about my performance, dead set on not praising me in front of Miyuki.

I snorted internally at his petty, pathetic rebellion and dropped him off.

The moment I was alone with Miyuki, I grabbed her hand and interlaced our fingers.

Miyuki giggled at my action and said something she didn’t mean.

“I told you not to drive with one hand…”

“Should I let go then?”

“Nooo… I didn’t mean you should let go… And Matsuda-kun, why do you go around hitting people? You promised me you wouldn’t use violence.”

Miyuki was talking about me hitting Tetsuya’s back earlier.

She wasn’t actually scolding me; she just hated when our conversations died down and was acting this way to keep it going.

“The kid was moping, so I was just encouraging him to cheer up. Didn’t you see Miura today? How he kept zoning out even while talking to us?”

“True… he didn’t look too good… I’ll ask him what’s wrong today and let you know, Matsuda-kun.”

“I’m not that curious, so you can just keep it to yourself. How are the cultural festival preparations going?”

“Yeah, they’re almost done. The kids doing the makeup worked really hard… Since you just played around the whole time, Matsuda-kun, you better behave and check tickets during the festival. Don’t you dare wander off, or you’ll be in trouble.”

“Miura played around the whole time, too.”

“Tetsuya-kun helped us out during his lunch breaks. And he’s going to be in a ghost costume.”

“Oh yeah? What are you dressing him up as?”

“Originally, we were going to do Shuten Doji… but it didn’t seem to suit him, so we decided on a Namahage.”

“A Namahage? The red-faced demon that carries a kitchen knife?”

“Yep.”

I was planning to make him a Kappa… I guess I’ve been too indifferent.

My bad, Tetsuya.

When we were almost at Miyuki’s house, I pulled over in a deserted alley.

Then, I brought my face right up to hers.

She blinked, meeting my gaze, and as the seconds ticked by, a blush crept across her cheeks.

“…Why are you staring at me like that…?”

“Am I not allowed to?”

“W-Well, that’s not it, but…”

“Do you have to go to the after-party? Since you’re the class president?”

“Yeah…”

“Alright then, don’t stay out too late. Contact me before you leave.”

“Contact you? Matsuda-kun, you’re not going to the after-party…?”

“I’m not.”

“Why…? It’d be nice if we went together… You don’t have many friends, Matsuda-kun… Shouldn’t you take this chance to make some…?”

I gave the worried Miyuki a gentle smile and spoke just as I saw her swallow.

In the deep, warm voice she loved.

“Contact me. Got it?”

Her face now completely crimson, she ducked her head and replied.

“O-Okay… I’ll contact you… But what are you going to do…?”

I paused for a moment, gently, ticklishly scratching the back of Miyuki’s hand.

“D-Don’t do that…”

Ignoring her as she squeezed my hand tightly to stop me, I said nonchalantly.

“Let’s be together that day, just the two of us.”

“Just the two of us…?”

“Yeah. Just the two of us.”

Having said this much, Miyuki would probably get the hint.

If not now, then she’d figure out the hidden meaning of my words after she went home and thought about it.

Of course, she wouldn’t be certain.

I hadn’t explicitly told her to sleep over at my place.

But she would brace herself and prepare, just in case.

“Okay… I’ll do that…”

Hearing Miyuki’s reply as she fidgeted with our interlaced fingers, I placed my other hand over hers and smiled brightly.

At that, Miyuki took a sharp breath and said.

“…Are you… just going to go…?”

“Is there something you want me to do?”

“Here…”

She pressed her index finger to her own lips.

I smirked at her blatant gesture, my eyes on her almond-shaped nails with their faint sheen as I leaned in closer.