How to Ruin a Romantic Comedy

Chinami was in front of me, helping me put on my torso protector.

Watching her, I spoke in a serious tone.

“I agree. But, Master.”

“Yes?”

“You were amazing.”

At my words, her eyes curved into a smile.

“I couldn’t score a point. As expected, Renka is an exceptional kendo practitioner.”

“In my eyes, you looked more exceptional, Master.”

“You’re too kind. Were you able to learn anything from it?”

I was.

When the other extras fought Renka, it was over so quickly there was nothing to see or learn. But in the match between Renka and Chinami, it was as if they’d received a protagonist’s buff; I could somewhat follow the flow of their offense, defense, and movements.

I couldn’t see everything, but I felt like I could land at least one valid strike on Renka.

“Of course. By the way, what is zanshin? I heard the seniors saying earlier that zanshin is important.”

“Ah… about that…”

While helping me put on the protective gear, Chinami began to teach me how to score points in kendo.

A valid strike, zanshin, ki-ken-tai-itchi… she explained that all these elements had to be in harmony to earn an ippon.

I understood the concept, but honestly, it was complicated.

It wasn’t something I could learn completely in the time it took to put on the gear.

As if she had the same thought, Chinami added a very simple explanation.

“If we were using real swords, it’s an ippon if you can neutralize your opponent with a single, precise attack. It needs more explanation, but for now, it’s good to understand it at that level.”

“I understand.”

“Just go for it. Renka is really strong, so it’ll be difficult to score a point. Just try whatever you want to do.”

She probably thinks it’s not just difficult, but impossible.

Still, I was grateful to Chinami for phrasing it gently to spare my feelings.

Looking down at her, I grinned and said, “I will avenge you, Master.”

“Pfft!”

She burst out laughing as she wrapped the tenugui around my head.

It wasn’t a mocking laugh, but it seemed completely devoid of any expectation.

After helping me with the homen and even tying the straps, she patted my back.

“There, you’re all set. Once Miura-kohai’s match is over, put on your kote and go to the director. Do whatever you want. No one will say anything to you.”

“Yes.”

Heeding Chinami’s encouragement, I stood up and looked in the mirror.

Except for the fact that my waist looked a bit chubby, it seemed to suit me well enough.

I looked toward the center of the club room.

“Hyaah!”

Tetsuya was charging at Renka, letting out a fake-sounding kiai.

And Renka was calmly and skillfully receiving Tetsuya’s overzealous attacks.

Things were proceeding just as I remembered…

But I’m going to snatch this event and create a new scene.

I have to make my move early.

If I don’t, I’ll have no chance of scoring a point.

My fighting spirit burning within, I picked up my shinai.

“Oh…! Matsuda! It suits you!”

I walked over to the seniors who were chatting quietly in the corner of the room and lowered my stance dramatically.

Then, after a quick glance at Goro, who was focused on the match, I put on a little show in a voice just loud enough for Renka to barely hear.

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“Breathing of Thunder…”

…

“Breathing of Thunder…”

Flinch.

Renka, who had been receiving Miura’s attacks, flinched upon hearing the small voice from a distance.

It was the name of a technique used by her favorite character from an anime she had recently enjoyed watching.

Who was that…?

Clack-!

Renka parried Miura’s clumsy attack and, while he was catching his breath, glanced toward where the voice had come from.

She saw one person with his left foot extended far forward, his hand on the shinai at his waist.

He was wearing a homen, so she couldn’t see clearly, but it looked like Matsuda Ken.

I didn’t think he’d be interested in anime, but to think he knows about that… How unexpected.

And a little irritating.

Beginners who have just started learning kendo aren’t usually allowed to spar.

Nevertheless, the director had highly praised Miura and Matsuda’s spirit and specially allowed them to wear the protective gear.

But instead of waiting with a reverent heart, he was pulling a ridiculous prank like that.

It looked like he was treating kendo as a game, which didn’t sit well with her.

Still, he’s a beginner who hasn’t gotten used to the etiquette yet. I should let it slide.

“What’s ‘Breathing of Thunder’?”

The innocent Chinami approached Matsuda and asked.

And Matsuda…

“It’s one of the breathing techniques that enhances physical abilities by promoting blood circulation and heart rate, raising body temperature and recovery speed. It makes you as strong as if you’ve become a demon.”

He recited the explanation from the anime verbatim.

“Wow…! Is there really a breathing technique like that?”

“There is.”

“Breathing of Thunder… that name is so cool. I want to learn it, too.”

“I can teach you. I’ll explain it in detail later.”

Don’t fall for it, Chinami!

You’re being played right now!

Renka calmed her rising temper and looked at Goro, who was watching her and Miura intently, and nodded.

It was a signal to end the match with Miura here.

Goro, confirming the signal, raised the flags in both hands and declared a stop to the match.

“Stop. Both of you, to your positions.”

Moving to the center, Renka smiled brightly at Miura, who performed an awkward sonkyo towards her.

Unlike Matsuda, she liked his serious attitude.

“Good match.”

“Good match.”

After exchanging greetings with Miura, he approached her.

“Could I ask how my last attack was?”

When he asked, she smiled gently.

“It’s against etiquette for students to coach each other when the director is present. I’ll tell you later.”

“Ah, yes…! Thank you!”

“Mhm. You did well.”

Soon after, called by Goro, Matsuda sauntered over and stood opposite her.

Then, he bowed and said, “I look forward to our match.”

So his speech has some manners mixed in.

Just like the rumors around the academy say, his attitude really seems to be improving.

“Sonkyo.”

As Goro’s stern voice rang out, Matsuda slowly squatted down.

His sonkyo posture was decent enough. A little better than Miura Tetsuya’s.

That must be thanks to Chinami’s one-on-one tutoring.

Renka performed sonkyo in return and stood up. As Matsuda raised his shinai, her eyes gleamed.

When she’d seen him a while ago, his shinai had been swaying like a reed, but now it was still.

Even considering he was just standing still, his kamae was quite good.

If he could just fix that arrogant attitude, he might be quite useful…

Alright.

If I crush a guy like that properly just once, he’ll stay quiet for a few days.

So I’ll toy with him a bit, gently poke at his pride, and then tell Chinami to be a little stricter with him.

“Begin!”

Hearing Goro’s voice, Renka was about to raise her shinai when—

“Huh?”

She let out an involuntary sound of puzzled surprise.

It was because Matsuda had raised his arms high, taking an awkward jodan-no-kamae, a high stance.

A guy who hasn’t even properly learned the mid-level stance is using a high stance?

Don’t tell me Chinami told him to use a high stance in a match?

She glanced at Chinami, who looked beyond surprised and was practically horrified.

That meant it wasn’t her doing.

This…!

Renka’s eyes narrowed, and she quietly ground her teeth.

I was planning to just toy with him, but now I’ll have to humiliate him outright.

I’ll show him just how pathetic a high stance is without the fundamentals and make him get serious about kendo.

As Renka considered how to cook Matsuda and got into her stance, she was quite surprised to see that Matsuda’s body in the high stance looked rather massive.

Huh…?

She couldn’t call it mountain-like, but his presence was incredibly fierce.

So much so that she felt it was a perfect fit for the high stance.

The gaze visible through the men-gane of his homen was also intensely serious.

He was meeting her own sharp aura head-on.

His spirit was incredible. It was like looking at a tiger.

Renka, who had almost lost her breath for a moment, quickly regained her composure.

He’s showing a surprisingly good form, but that’s all.

His kamae was clumsy, full of openings, and he was even blocking his own line of sight with his wrists.

Good.

I’ll take this ippon without mercy.

I’ll instill a sense of despair in him by not even letting him attack.

Gripping the hilt of her shinai tightly, Renka powerfully extended it, timing it with Matsuda’s attempt at a fumikomi.

Swoosh-!

A thrust to the throat—one of the most well-known weaknesses of the high stance.

Even the experienced and skilled Chinami had given up points to this thrust countless times. There was no way Matsuda, who hadn’t even mastered the basics of the mid-level stance and footwork, could dodge or block this attack.

This is going to hurt a little.

Confirming that the sakigawa of her shinai was shooting toward the target area on his throat, Renka had no doubt that Matsuda would let out an unsightly scream.

However—

Fzzt-!

“Huh…?”

Her eyes widened as her shinai grazed past Matsuda’s homen.

He, he dodged it…?

Was he expecting it? That a throat thrust was coming?

No, that’s not it.

Looking at Matsuda’s current posture, his legs were spread wide to the side, in a way you would never see in a normal kendo match.

It meant he hadn’t dodged it by predicting it, but had moved on pure animal instinct.

“Hup!”

Whooosh-!

Following that, Matsuda’s arms swung dynamically with a short, light kiai, letting out a sharp sound as if tearing through the air.

Piiing-!

Renka swallowed hard as she saw Matsuda’s sharply gleaming eyes through her men-gane, aimed at her waist.

My waist…!

Snapping back to her senses, Renka tried to move urgently, but Matsuda’s shinai had already reached her right side.

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Thwack—!

A heavy, solid thud echoed clearly.

The atmosphere in the club room, which had relaxed after several matches, grew heavy once more.

“…..”

“…..”

Only silence filled the room.

The club members, Chinami, Renka, and even Goro stared back and forth between Renka and Matsuda, completely stunned.

The first to break the silence was Matsuda’s voice, full of disbelief, as he casually retrieved his shinai and stepped back.

“Did it work? Did I score a point?”

At that, the second person to come to his senses, the third-year student who was refereeing, turned his head stiffly toward Goro.

“A-an ippon…?”