I Hate Dungeon School

"That is not an insignificant amount of trip wires." I mused as I looked at all the barely visible lines crisscrossing the small chamber we looked into from the safety of the narrow hallway leading into it.

"Yeah. That's admittedly more than I was expecting for a morning class. Our dear instructors have a deeply cruel sense of humor." Cori let out something between a chuckle and a sigh as she crouched down and looked at the puzzle before us.

"I haven't had nearly enough coffee to deal with this today." I groaned and likewise joined her in the crouch.

Today was a practical lesson in traps. They set up the simulators, let us loose, and gave us an hour to escape this trap-filled artificial hell of a maze. It was our bad luck that they did this first thing in the morning, before the sweet nectar of life that was coffee had time to intermingle with my veins.

So I was grumpy, sleepy, and trying my best to focus on the pale shadow of a threat of death arrayed before my partner in this lesson, Cori. Cori was a gadgeteer and very skilled at the more subtle arts of breaking into dungeons. Many call her a rogue, but she never liked the designation. What she really excelled at was making all kinds of fascinating gadgets for getting out of a myriad of predicaments.

"Got anything cool in your tool bag for this one? If we disarm every wire, we'll run out of time, and I don't trust either of us to navigate all that." I pointed at all the wires.

She nodded and hummed to herself for a moment before a silly grin appeared on her face.

"We could just ten-foot-pole it." She said as she dug through her bag.

'Ten-foot-poling it' was a bit of old slang from dungeoneers to reference the old days when adventurers would regularly have a ten-foot pole for all kinds of things. It fell out of favor over the years, mostly for the fact that it's a bit awkward to navigate with one in a dungeon. There had been some attempts to tweak the design, such as ones that split into sections, but I'm pretty sure Cori's bag was too small for that.

And then she lifted a small metal cylinder. She twisted a little ring on it, and with a click it extended.

"Cori, I have no idea what that is, but I love it already."

"Adjustable ten-foot pole! Collapses down to a handy travel size. It's not good for supporting stuff, but it is good for this." She then turned her focus towards the chamber as she manipulated the ring on the device, causing it to extend further and further, till it reached the far end of the space. With a swift downward motion, she hit the trip lines, causing them to fire off all kinds of effects into the small chamber, from fire to lightning, to darts and more.

"Whew, if that were real, we would've been in trouble!" I said, patting her shoulder as she retracted the device. Tucking it away, she stood up with a slight groan.

"Now comes the fun part." She said as she stretched, working out the kinks in her back from being crouched for so long.

"You doing ok? You seem to be really stiff lately." I asked. She was usually so spry and by far the nimblest of my usual gang of companions.

"Yeah, I've been so nose down on some projects I've been forgetting my workouts and stretching. Its amazing how fast that can catch up to you." She grunted as she rotated her shoulder with a crunch.

"You could always work out with me, you know, if you need someone to keep you on track." I offered as I dug through my own tool kit for the next step of clearing the chamber.

"I appreciate it. I'll probably take you up on that. Can't start slacking off now." The sandy-haired human sighed. "You got the balls this time?"

"That I do." I lifted the bag to show her.

Trip wires were one thing, but secret trigger plates in the floor were another. Best trick to dealing with that? Simple application of steel balls. Just roll them across the floor, and they were usually heavy enough to trigger any plates. They could also let you know about any weird footing. Some dungeons had strange angles and grease traps to trip you up by making you slide around in oil. Which then tended to get set on fire.

Very gruesome. I kind of wondered at what in a dungeon core's strange alien intelligence even gave them the ideas to make such sadistic little traps, but that was beyond my pay grade. So to speak, anyway.

I let one roll down the most direct path to the other side, where our exit awaited. The soft rattling of steel against stone made the anticipation even worse.

Sure enough, the ball caused one of the floor tiles to depress, unleashing a flurry of darts from the ceiling just before hitting the threshold on the other side.

"So we should be fine as long as we walk in a straight line," I said, putting my pouch back in my tool bag.

"I think that's another assignment we can call completed. Gods above, I wish more dungeons were like this. I don't mind fighting monsters, but traps and puzzles are so much more pleasant to deal with." The human complained as she made her way forward.

I followed behind her. As we both entered the chamber, the entire floor shifted beneath us with a loud metallic crunch.

"You have got to be shi-" I said before the thresholds on both sides slammed shut.

I expected a lot of things at this point. A room filling up with liquid, either acid or water, would be typical. Walls closing in would also be likely. We waited for a long moment, waiting to see what kind of hell we had gotten ourselves into.

"I will admit, I did not expect a tiered trigger. Small traps for small weights on individual plates, whole room rigged for higher weights? Sneaky, sneaky." Cori said as she looked around for some kind of disarming switch. These kinds of traps always had some kind of way out. The cruel intelligence that made these kinds of traps also liked to treat them as some sort of game, and there was usually a way out.

Luckily, it seems this one was content with just keeping us trapped in here. Or so I thought till I heard the trickle of water and saw the liquid flowing in from the bottom.

"I am not in the mood for getting damp today, thank you. These boots are brand new!" I scowled at the wet offender that was the floor.

Cori kept looking around for some kind of switch, with increasing franticness.

A thought occurred to me. "Cori, if it's triggered by both our weights, we just need to lower the weight."

"Obviously, Alta, but how... Ah! I see what you're getting at!" She said as she saw me pulling metal spikes out of my kit.

Metal spikes were usually used to wedge doors open and for a variety of handy uses. But in this case, I had to be a little creative.

I jammed them into the wall as hard as I could above my head, and one more near the bottom of the wall, just above where the water was rising. Satisfied they would hold, I lifted myself and held on for dear life. Despite this being a simulation, I didn't enjoy getting soaked in a stone box more than I had to.

As I lifted myself, I heard the clunk and crunch as the floor lifted itself back up, causing the water to drain out and the doors to unseal. Cori dashed out into the hallway, giving me time to climb down and retrieve my spikes.

"The absolute gall, I swear," I muttered as I exited the small chamber with her.

"They're starting to get tricky on us. We haven't really run into anything like this in the Corridor dungeons or the dungeons in the outskirts. You hear rumors about others in the Kingdoms, but I really hope they aren't like this." Cori said as we both put out our hands on the rune at the end of the hallway to signal we were finished.

"With our luck? They're probably worse. They'll have monsters on top of everything else. I do not look forward to dodging skeletons and slimes while navigating trip lines and trap plates." I groaned, feeling my hand tingle on the rune.

The lights brightened as the walls lost their texture, shimmering to reveal featureless and smooth grey, and began retracting into the floor, and before long, we were in the Simulator Hall, with several of our fellows resting on benches around us.

"Group 6, get off the floor and take a break. Don't forget to hydrate people! I ain't picking you up off the floor if you pass out." Instructor Kugarth shouted at us. The tall porcine orc man was as intimidating as ever, and it was not a good idea to get on his bad side at all.

Cori and I noticed Smitty waving at the two of us, and we made our way over to her. Our Kobold was in high spirits despite being soaking wet.

"Good to see friends less damp than Sm---" She paused and focused for a moment. "Me. Less damp than me. Yes."

Smitty had been taking language lessons since we had returned from our trip in Burgotova. We weren't entirely sure what happened to Smitty after we picked her up from the Kobold Village, but she seemed determined to really work at improving her skills in Mortal Common, which I knew was generally difficult for Kobolds.

Her hard work was paying off. I wanted to know what lit a fire under her about this, but it was none of my business, and I made it a personal mission not pry if I could help it. We all had our own goals after all.

I flopped on the seat near her, just ready for this day to move on, finally. I think I needed more coffee after this. That would be amazing. I closed my eyes for a moment and just let my consciousness float away.

That mental floating was interrupted by a cold bottle against my face.

"Water. Drink!" The offender spoke. It was Myth, with bottles of cold water for each of us. Like Smitty, she had been undergoing her own changes. Our heartfelt conversation on top of the mountain seemed to have stuck with her, but instead of spiraling into despair, she seemed to have turned her feelings of weakness and fear into something else.

She had started to become, for lack of a better term, the team mom. Which was funny considering the revelation that Smitty was, in fact, a mother. She had started making sure we all slept, ate, cleaned ourselves, and all that. I noticed she even smelled less like herbs and smoke these days.

I could see her trembling some days, no doubt an effect of the withdrawals, but she was fighting it. And for that, I was proud of her.

Cori was still Cori. She just kept doing what she was doing. Which was working fine for her and everyone else, it seemed. She still dreamt of teaching her people to fight against the Knights and Mages that used their farmlands outside the protection of the Mortal Kingdoms as some kind of larder, but things had been quieter than normal. Other than that, she didn't really keep us in the loop much these days, which worked for me. I was very tired of conspiracies after all the nonsense of winter break.

The snow had melted, and spring was starting, and, like the shifting of the seasons, I was ready to move on from that chapter of my life. I guess I had changed, too, when I think about it. I was still the same old Alta Marchesi, but I felt a bit freer.

Despite the glares I got from others. No matter how one tries, rumors escape their prisons, and the rumors of all the evil my family had perpetuated, and planned to perpetuate, swirled like sewage in the ponds of the rumormongers. That was fine. I didn't care all that much.

They could hate me all they wanted, as long as they didn't harm my friends, my Eira, or touch my money. I loved my girlfriend, and I loved my money, and I would kick as many arses as I needed to keep those safe. My friends, too, I guess.

We sat there relaxing as more and more groups finished up.

"Hey Alta, do you think we could cancel the labyrinth practice? I've got a few things to do today and tomorrow, and I don't want to be too worn out." Cori broke the silence of our rest.

"I mean, I guess. Who knows if we'll even need to learn those, with everything going on down south? Why? You got a date or something?" I asked with a smirk.

"N-none of your business." She blushed, turning her face away. Oh ho! Methinks she does!

"Go for it. Let's all take a break for a few days from simulators. I've got to write some extra credit essays for Map Making. My grades have been slipping a bit." I grudgingly admitted. I had lost some of the passion for the art once things started getting more complicated. Encryptions, magic papers, and so on and so on. It was hard for me to keep track of everything, especially when I found out almost every Dungeoneering guild has its own legends and styles to keep tabs on.

"Thanks, girlie. Much appreciated!" Cori gave me a pat on the shoulder before getting up and wandering off to gods knows or cares where.

I sat there with my thoughts as Myth and Smitty chattered at each other, Smitty gleefully showing off her new speaking skills. We had been so sure that the labyrinths showing up in the south along the Kildjan train line were going to be a sure thing for our future, but all work on it had stopped, and subsequently, all dungeoneering too.

Apparently, Harpies had been causing trouble and demanding that the train line stop cutting through their lands. Without permission or compensation at least. This was complicated by the fact that Harpies were, legally speaking, monsters. Which led to the harpies demanding recognition as a Mortal Race. Which meant until that whole debacle was settled, no dungeoneering, no construction, no adventuring, nothing in those territories.

So we either had time to train or time to find some other specialty to capitalize on after we graduated.

Kugarth said something in orcish quite loudly, which was a language I had never really bothered to learn much in, but I was starting to wonder if it wouldn't hurt. After we all quieted down and faced him, he spoke.

"Most of you did rather well, and I want to thank you for obeying the rules of the simulation hall. Records of your exercises will be given to your teacher, and they'll give you assessments later. Now get out of here, other classes have flailing about to do!" He barked at us and waved at us to scoot.

We all shuffled off to the lockers and showers, cleaned ourselves off, and got ready to face the rest of the day. First, I had a little date with a half-elf and a coffee. Maybe a pastry to make it a threesome.

As I exited, I found a dark-haired elf waiting for me, but not the one I hoped for. This one was shorter, had glasses, and her little school faculty uniform on, which had a little beret-style hat atop her head. If she weren't the very picture of administrative seriousness, she would be adorable.

"Hello, Miss Farina. Can I help you and the school today? I would rather hope I can't, as I am quite booked today." I said as politely as I could, but I was not in the mood. Whenever Farina showed up, usually out of nowhere, it usually meant trouble for me.

"Not the school, Miss Marchesi. Today...today is a personal request." She shuffled slightly, which was very uncharacteristic of her. Well, now, my interest was piqued.

Farina and I rarely interacted outside of her fetching me for the Headmaster, so I admit I had very little idea if this was actually out of character for her, but she had a certain reputation amongst other students, and her behavior was ever so gently flying in the face of it.

That said, I really did have plans. Romantic plans.

"Can we set up a meeting? I really am busy." I said firmly.

She looked a bit taken aback and nodded. "Tonight after the 7th bell? It is rather urgent. You can meet me at my office." She took out a card with her name and office number. I didn't even know she had an office. Why did she have her own office? Wasn't she a secretary or something?

I was beginning to realize that my continued disinterest in anything that didn't directly affect me was perhaps not as good an idea as I would have liked.

"7th bell it is, Miss Fari...na?" I looked up to see a space where she had been standing. I huffed and put my hands on my hips and glared at the lack of Farina. "How in all the hells does she keep doing that?"

I left the building, grumbling about teleporting secretaries, and made a beeline to the little cafe on the edge of campus. I had a date with a spellsong, and I wasn't going to miss it for anything.