I Hate Dungeon School

Chapter 68 – Afterparty



It was a few hours later, judging by the golden light shining on my face, and I awoke in an unfamiliar room. I was getting decidedly tired of how often that seemed to happen in my life. Most parts of my body hurt like the hells themselves decided to use me as exercise equipment.

There was a weight on my shoulder and side that caught my attention. A warm weight, for that matter. I gingerly turned my head to look and saw Eira asleep next to me.

Despite the pain, all felt right with the world then. I was tempted to just let myself slip into unconsciousness again, but the door opened softly.

I turned my head to face it and saw a pair of faces I really wasn't in the mood for seeing.

Regis, or King Andrej, rather, and Cassandra entered.

"Ah, you're awake. Good. We need to talk." Andrej said softly as he approached, pulling a chair over to the bed for himself and Cassandra.

I felt Eira stir and mumble something before sitting up with a start. She blinked a few times and sputtered as it finally occurred to her what was going on. As she struggled to rise, a feat that involved a bit of tussling with sheets and blanket, she fell off the bed with a thump, before popping up, and attempting a bow.

Gods above and below, she was adorable.

"Your majesty." She said, attempting the bow again. She looked at Cassandra with a narrowing of her eyes and said nothing. It was nice how she also hated Cassandra on my behalf. Warmed my heart.

"Could we have a moment, Miss Eira? We need to speak with Alta about some sensitive matters." Cassandra said evenly. If she had opinions about Eira, I couldn't detect them from her voice. Though my headache wasn't helping matters there.

"No. I want her here." I said, my voice croaking much more than expected. "No offense, but I don't particularly trust either of you as far as I could throw you, and in my condition, that isn't very far at all."

I heard Eira hold back a snort of laughter at that.

"It's of no matter anyway. It's all going to become public knowledge soon enough." Andrej held his hand up, stopping any protest Cassandra started to utter.

Cassandra bowed her head and remained silent.

"I'm hoping you're going to explain a few things. Cassandra had some sort of convoluted plan about me starting a scene to cause some chaos, and then you showed up, arrested everyone, did weird magic, and then a monster happened, and frankly, I'm very sore and tired, so please, for the love of all gods above and below, sum it up quickly." I croaked at them, reaching for the waiting glass of water on the end table.

"Very well. I suppose I owe you that much. Get ready for this. As its going to be extensive."

The king began a tale that started before my exile, one that covered a wide range of small conspiracies involving several noble families, and offshoot clans, as well as ties to the Knights of the Obsidian Gauntlet and other organizations.

To sum up, a group of noble families wanted to return to the 'glory days' of the sword-slaves to bolster their power, tired of the power of the crown over the nobility. They also wanted to regain the riches lost, as many of the noble families couldn't figure out alternate businesses. The Knights of the Obsidian Gauntlet were sworn by treaty to uphold the laws of the Mortal Kingdoms, but were chafing at the restrictions placed on them. They wanted to be able to raid and pillage with impunity, effectively.

They agreed to loan military support to the rebellious nobles in exchange for first pick of sword-slaves in their bid to build an army to attempt to force the Mortal Alliance to either disband or relieve legal restrictions on the Knightly Orders.

The Marchesi and Togalli houses were set to make the most money and gain the most power from this arrangement. Instead of bickering over it between the two of them, they agreed to unite their houses with the marriage of their two heirs.

Cassandra admitted she had been kept out of the loop till she was told about the wedding plans. She had been expected to be married off at some point, so she had no complaints there. After that, though, she had been looped into more and more aspects. The rebellion, the plan to return to slavery, and the rest.

She had begun to realize that their family had gone beyond the usual cloak-and-dagger nonsense and moved into full sedition. She took her information to the king in secret, who advised her to keep quiet and play along. He then orchestrated a scheme to look like he had fallen ill, to bolster the wills of any rebels still on the fence. He wanted things to look like a sure thing for their little rebellion.

All the while, he took on the guise of Regis Versteckt to start nosing around. His spy master had used a spell to share a visage with him to get Regis in with the nobles, while Andrej did his kingly duties behind the scenes.

It was all very convoluted, and frankly, I didn't understand most of it. In the end, the primary end of all this was that my parents, the Togalli family, and the heads of nearly a full half of the nobility had been arrested for a long list of crimes.

"And I suppose that makes you the head of the family without the inconvenience of our parents dying, hmm, Cassandra?" I couldn't help but give her a not-so-subtle glare.

"This is, technically, true. Due to the fact that I am married to Torvaldus, who was also involved in the crime, I have also inherited the Togalli house assets and estates." She shrugged, but I know I saw the hint of a smirk on her face.

"Since your family is still involved in an ongoing investigation, the lands and assets are in trust with the crown, of course," Andrej added quickly.

"Ok. And what about Cavendish and the monsters? That seemed really weird, and I specialize in weird. Technically." I asked. That little curiosity didn't seem to connect with all the political chicanery that had been going on.

"That is admittedly still a mystery we're trying to figure out. The head of the Knights of the Obsidian Gauntlet was supposed to be there, but he wasn't, nor were any of the Knight Captains we had reports of being involved. Cavendish had been promised you as a bride in exchange for something we haven't been able to get out of your parents yet." Andrej said, scratching the back of his head.

"And the stone turning them into monsters? It reminded me of a juvenile dungeon core." I considered what I saw. It was similar but I couldn't say for sure.

"No idea. My mages and court scholars are still looking into it. Do you want to be kept in the loop when we find out anything? You have more than earned that right." He said.

I thought about it for a long while.

"No, I don't think I do. I just want to go back to school and live out my life as a dungeoneer. This life of politics, conspiracies, and so on and so on is just not what I want to deal with. Ever." I sighed, rubbing my temples as the headache from earlier was threatening a second round on my skull.

"I'd also personally like to invite you back into the family, Alta. How our parents treated you....How I treated you wasn't fair. It was cruel and I don't have enough words to apologize. I'd like to be able to call you sister again. Our brothers, too, would love to have you be part of us again." Cassandra said, her voice shaking with genuine emotion, though even now she couldn't allow her mask drop all the way.

"I appreciate what you're trying to do, Cassandra. I really, honestly do. And I'm not saying this out of spite or vindictiveness. I don't want to come back. Not yet. I still need time to work the bitterness out of my heart. I don't know that it'll ever go away. The hurt is deep, Cass. It's deeper than you could know. It may seem petty and cruel of me, but its the way that I am. Something to work on, I suppose, but not yet. I want, no, I need to prove to myself that I am more than a spoiled noble girl who happens to know how to use a sword and spells. I need to prove that I am worthy on my own terms." I said, firmly and decisively. I wanted there to be no question about my feelings on the matter.

Cassandra nodded, silently and sadly.

"The offer will remain open. I hope one day you will reconsider." I saw her eyes shimmer wetly. "If I may be excused."

She stood and left, and I know I heard her give a little sniffle.

The room was quiet for a long moment, and I felt Eira give my hand a gentle squeeze. It was then that I felt wetness on my own cheek. I guess I was a bit more emotional than I thought. Crying in front of a king! Past me would be mortified.

I didn't give two halves of a damn. He wasn't my king, as far as I was concerned.

"Well, let's get down to the brass tacks, as they say. I did promise you all some pay. I've already talked to everyone else in your party and settled things there. The small human is a greedy one! She wrote me an invoice and everything!" He laughed with a knee slap.

For a king, he was an odd one. I began to wish that I had gotten to know him a bit better in my days as a noblewoman.

"This will sound odd, your majesty, but could you pay mine in installments? I'll take whatever the others agreed to. I just don't want it all at once. It'll make me lazy, probably." I said, flopping back onto the bed.

"Installments? That can be done easily enough. Don't you want to know how much?" He asked, confusion plain on his face. I guess the others really pumped him for as much coin as they could.

"I'll take the same thing as Alta. The idea of that much money sitting around makes me nervous." Eira added and grinned.

"Ah, yes, of course! Anything you want. I would offer you a title or some other reward, but I get the funny feeling you'd turn it down. You are very much unlike most Marchesis I've met over the years, I have to confess." He shrugged and then pushed himself from the seat.

"Yeah, I'm getting that feeling. I'm probably the least Marchesi to ever Marchesi. Now, if you'll excuse me, your majesty, I want to sleep and make out with my girlfriend. Nearly dying makes me sleepy and affectionate." I said, pulling Eira into bed with me.

"Too much information, thank you and goodbye!' He laughed and left the room.

I pulled Eira into a big kiss. I deserved a big kiss.

"You weren't kidding! You saucy thing you!" She took a deep breath once we decided to come up for air, so to speak.

"Thank you for staying with me. I really didn't want to be alone right then." I said, holding her tight.

"Any time, sleepy ears. Any time!" She cuddled close.

As we cuddled, a thought suddenly occurred to me.

"What did my brother whisper to you at the checkpoint?" I asked.

"You just think to ask this now?" She giggled and nuzzled me.

"I've been busy! And I'm not unconvinced I didn't die a few times in there! You lose track of things when mortality keeps slapping you about the face." I pouted as I defended myself.

"Wellllll, he said I should be sure to invite him to our wedding." She purred luridly.

"Oh. OH. Well then. Something to think about for the future, eh?" I smiled and pulled her close.


It was a day or so with the healers, and I was ready to travel again. The rest of the party had kept themselves out of trouble. Or if they had gotten in trouble, they made sure I didn't hear about it, and that was good enough for me.

Eira and I walked towards the gates of Burgotova, and waiting there were Andritch, Myth, Cori, and Mariana. They were loading the last of the wagon, though there seemed to be a few more packages than we arrived with. No doubt a shopping trip happened during my recuperation.

"Hello, ladies! Ready to get back to school?" I waved at them. I was greeted by a variety of answers ranging from affirmatives to swearing.

Myth gave me a big hug when I approached. "I'm glad you're better, Alta. I was worried there for a bit. Gods, I'm going to need so many herbs when I get back."

"Don't worry, I got you covered." Cori patted the wood elf on the back.

"Alright, ladies, we've got to get moving. We need to pick up Smitty and get as much of Burgotova behind us as we can before nightfall. Winter isn't getting any less cold, you know." She griped at us as she patted the necks of our Ptarms.

We all filed inside the wagon, negotiated around all our stuff to find the best seats near the fire crystal.

We began to move with a snap of the reins and a whistle from Andritch, or Helena as I had come to know her, and I stared as Burgotova shrank behind us as we made our way, the soft rolling crunch of the wagon wheels and the cooing of the Ptarms the only sound to be heard.

It was an uneventful journey. No bandits, no monsters. Just a simple rolling through the cold countryside. That was fine by me. Healed didn't mean my body wasn't still sore.

Another long stint of recovery training lay ahead. I had that to look forward to, along with everything else.

Still so many unanswered questions from everything that had happened, but in this moment, I couldn't really bring myself to care enough. I was tired. Tired down to my very bones.

As I mentally griped about all my sore parts, a thought occurred to me.

"Why are you coming back with us, Mariana? Didn't you want to stay and get things straightened out with your family? I figured you'd jump at the chance to try to become a noblewoman again?" I asked, confused.

"It's honestly a really complicated situation, and with the titles and money all tied up in crown stuff, and whatever deal your sister made, I just figured it'd be easier to head back to school, and wait for things to blow over." She said, rather unconvincingly.

I decided it was perhaps best to leave it alone for now. I had other things on my mind.

I was looking forward to getting back home. Where I was comfortable, the food was simple and good, and life was predictable, while not always the safest.

And for all of its many dangerous, often lethal problems and annoyances, Dungeon School was home now.

And to home I was going, and nothing was going to stop me.

It would be nice to be free from this freezing hell and all the trouble it brought.

I hated winter adventures. When I ran my own dungeoneering company, I was going to take winters off. That sounded very nice.

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