I Hate Dungeon School

The little bell on the door of the café dinged welcomingly, a lovely sound that put my mind and soul at peace every time I heard it. The air was filled with the bitter earthiness of the coffee and tea, with the soft sweetness of the panoply of pastries and other assorted goodies.

The person attending the counter waved to me in welcome and started making my order immediately. I had become something of a regular here, and I never really deviated in my order. It was an island of predictability in my life, which tended more towards chaos than I really cared for.

I felt my heart flutter as I saw Eira in our usual booth in the back. I know I see her every day, usually multiple times a day, and quite frequently all night, but I still felt a thrill of joy whenever I saw my tall raven-haired goddess. Yes, I know it's mushy, but I don't care.

She was reading over a book intently, taking notes occasionally, her brow furrowed in concentration. I was never entirely clear on the particulars of the things she had to study as part of a dungeon recovery specialist, but it seemed intense and more complicated than one would've thought.

I sat across from her and kept silent for a few moments, just watching her face. Her eyes were green like gemstones, and her hair was tucked just behind her lovely, pointed ears, shorter than mine, and rounded ever so slightly at the ends, belying her half elven nature. Many elves of my homeland, Burgotova, had several prejudices against half-elves, but none of that mattered to me.

As much as I would love to sit and stare at her all day, I also liked talking to my girlfriend, and looking at the lack of steam coming from her drink, she'd forgotten about her coffee completely.

"Hello, beautiful! Come here often?" I said with a smile curling on my face.

She jumped slightly and sputtered with surprise.

"Oh! Alta! Is it that late already? Oh my gosh, I'm sorry I didn't see you come in!" She closed up her books and leaned across to give me a kiss, which I was always happy to receive.

"It's ok! I just got here, and you looked so cute working on that. I felt bad about interrupting. But your poor neglected coffee has gone cold, and that is a crime I cannot abide." I winked at her.

"Oh hells, you're right. Sigh. Marta? Could I get a top-up? I let it go cold again." She held up the cup with a look of contrition in her voice.

Marta brought me my coffee and pastry, and gave Eira a bit of teasing tut-tut sound as she took the cold cup from her, and gave her a replacement.

Marta was a human, blonde, blue-eyed, and had the impeccable knack for just kind of blending in wherever she was. It was actually impressive how well she just sort of disappeared into the background.

Anyway, back to the real target of my visit.

"How goes the studying? Mana mechanics? Does mana even have mechanics?" I asked, seeing the title of the text she was reading.

"Sadly, yes, and almost none of it makes sense, and there's a ridiculous amount of things that can go wrong with it. I wouldn't even know where to begin explaining it." She sighed, rubbing her temples.

"Then you don't have to! Just know that if you need help, I will try, but don't expect too much, yeah?" I patted her hand.

"So, what happened today? Traps class today, right?" She said, taking a sip of her brew with a satisfied grin.

"Yeah. Boots got wet, double-stage weight flood trigger." I said before taking a bite of my snack.

"Ooof, yeah, those are no fun. When I did it, got up to my neck before my partner and I figured out what to do. I don't much care for wearing wet leather armor." She grimaced at the memory.

"Awww but you look so cute all drenched!" I giggled at her expression.

"Letcher! I swear, girl!" She laughed along with me.

"So, enough about me, you're studying all day? You free tonight? I got a meeting, of sorts, but I wouldn't mind grabbing dinner together." I asked, as I poured some cream into my drink. I didn't like drinking it straight if I could avoid it. I didn't mind bitterness, but some days you just didn't want it.

"I'm free. I got one class left today, and then I'm free. Now what do you mean by a meeting of sorts?" She leaned forward, her eyes twinkling with curiosity. I smiled; she was a gossipmonger at heart, and I could understand completely.

I leaned in conspiratorially.

"It was the strangest thing. Farina, the headmaster's secretary, showed up after Traps class and asked to see me about a 'personal' matter. I said yes, because I admit she was acting strange, and I'm nothing if not nosy and curious."

"The one with the glasses? Always wears berets? She's a quiet one. And she just pops up and disappears! It's so weird and cool at the same time!" Eira said excitedly. "You have to go! And you have to tell me what's going on!"

"Of course, sweet ears, I shall! Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to devour this pastry like it has offended my honor. Dear gods above and below, I'm starving!" I said before doing exactly that. I am an elf of my word after all.

-

Eira and I planned to meet after the 8th bell for some cafeteria fare, as we had thankfully moved out of stew season. I couldn't imagine the meeting with Farina would take all that long. Strange and secretive as she was trying to be, it couldn't possibly take more than an hour to tell me what she needed.

I also really hope it paid. It was embarrassing to admit, but a great deal of the money the King had given me was largely either gone or secreted away in a bank until I graduated, so I could use it as seed money for starting my own adventuring and dungeoneering business. Which left me in the paradoxical position of being wealthy and perpetually broke at the same time.

My fellows offered to help me out, but I always refused.

I still had my job at the atelier du maiden, which helped, and my roommates and Mariana all got provisional adventuring and dungeoneering licenses so we could do independent work for money within the territories controlled by Revenstahd. That limited the amount of good items we could scrounge, but there was always low-level work to be done, so I could usually scrape together enough to cover basic living expenses.

But sometimes, a girl needed to live a little, you know? Just being in survival mode, plus all the studying and physical stresses of a dungeoneer's life, was hard, and it was the little delights that made life worth living.

I shoved those thoughts out of the way as I reached the administrative building. Most of the official buildings shut down after the 5th bell, but the administration office never really closed. Some kind of work was always going on, whether for the school itself or the many different subdivisions that connected to Dungeon School.

It was not only a center for learning the craft, but it was always at the forefront of the research into dungeons themselves, as so much about them, while predictable, was still a mystery. Solving mysteries meant saving lives, and that, I think, is a worthy enough goal.

I wandered the halls for a bit, trying to figure out where exactly Farina's office was. Number 404. Which you would think would be between 403 and 405, but apparently logic went out the proverbial window when it came to the organization of the admin building. I swear, I had seen dungeons more sensibly laid out. I realized every time I had been here before, I had been guided and, like an idiot, I didn't really pay enough attention.

And just as I heard the 7th bell chimes ring from the courtyard clock, I found it. Next to a broom closet of all things. The number 404 is set right in the center, and underneath it is a small plaque that reads 'Farina Firenze, Administrative Coordinator, Junior Grade'. It was scuffed and a little dusty, like this room barely got any use.

I suddenly felt bad for Farina. I hadn't expected her to have an office at all, but this was sadder than anything I could've expected. They gave her a tiny office, in a hidden part of the admin building, and I had no doubts they kept her too busy to adequately use it.

I gave the door a gentle knock, and the door opened immediately.

"Sorry, I'm late. I got lost." I explained bashfully. Farina just stared at me for a long moment, without any real discernible expression. I would hate to play cards against her.

After another few heartbeats, she nodded and welcomed me in.

"Quite all right, Miss Marchesi. I forgot that the administration is, well, labyrinthine at the best of times." She said as she made her way to a desk.

The room was larger than I would have expected, but still only barely larger than a closet. There was enough room for a desk and two chairs, as well as a small cabinet.

She sat and tucked the papers arrayed on her desk into a drawer. I only caught the slightest glimpse, but it almost looked like floor plans. I took the seat across from her, and I immediately regretted it. The chairs were deeply uncomfortable, and likely cheap, too.

My feeling that she didn't use the office much was confirmed by the layer of dust on anything but the desktop.

"Can I ask what this is about, Farina...Miss Firenze, I mean. I do have more plans that I was able to push back, but I really hope this is important. Please forgive my candor, but I am exhausted." I said, trying in vain to find a position on the chair that didn't seem to have a personal vendetta against my tailbone.

"Farina is fine. And I do apologize for the sudden request, but I find myself in a decidedly difficult situation, and I need someone who will be discreet. My contacts say you are quite good at discretion, and your grades, for the most part, show that you have the skills I could use. It is an advantageous combination for my situation." She said, and shifted a bit in the chair. Out of nervousness, or discomfort, I wasn't sure.

I sighed internally. So many eyes were watching me, and I wasn't even sure if it was targeted at me or if people in high positions in Revenstahd were just nosey. I was hoping it was the latter. The city lord, the headmaster, and even Farina had their own private spy networks, or something like it, and I was getting very tired of being a person of interest.

"Could you get to the point, Farina? Please?"

"Ah, yes. Apologies. Simply put, there have been reports of strange creatures and individuals lurking near an old abandoned villa on the outskirts of Revenstahd territory. I need to find out if there is any truth to it, and I need it done quietly." She said, pulling a map back out of the drawers and showing me the location.

I had no idea where exactly that was, but then I never really explored Revenstahd much outside a few districts, some of the dungeons in the surrounding territory, and definitely none of the outskirts areas. Some of my classmates enjoyed the urban exploration thing, but it wasn't particularly my cup of tea.

"So poke around an old villa, and come back and tell me if anything is weird? That seems suspiciously simple for all, forgive me for saying so, cloak and dagger skullduggery." I raised an eyebrow and looked her right in the eyes. "I'm not saying no, but I am curious."

"Its complicated, but," She sighed, her facade of calmness fading as she slumped a bit. "My family used to own that land, and it's got a lot, and I mean a lot of bad history behind it, and I want to make sure no one is digging it up. It's been quiet for over a century now, and all of a sudden rumors are swirling about the place, and I don't like it."

"Centuries? Anything of interest should've been looted a long time ago. You're right, that is suspicious." I tapped my chin as my thoughts wandered.

Centuries? Just after the formation of the Mortal Kingdom Alliance? Odd timing that.

"What's worse is we've been having Mages and Knights in town trying to curry favor with the City Lord about the whole harpy situation." She groaned and put her head down on the table. "Which means they also want to get the Headmaster on their side, and I've been juggling too many meetings and preparations to go look myself."

Now that caught my attention.

"Knights and Mages? About the harpies? What would a bunch of bird people stopping trains have to do with Revenstahd?"

"The Mortal Kingdom council is deadlocked on the vote regarding declaring the harpies a mortal race and not monsters. The City Lord is the deciding vote, and he hasn't committed to a response yet. Everyone is trying to get him on their side. The Mages and Knights don't want the harpies to become Mortal, because the knights can't hunt them anymore, and the Mages lose out on harpy feathers, which are a reagent or something." Farina sat up and explained, her mask of professionalism was just completely shed now.

"And you think they're also poking around in your family's old haunt? Why would they do that?" I asked, puzzled.

"I don't know, and that's the problem. I don't even know it's them, but the timing is suspicious enough to make me worry. After the debacle with the Order of the Obsidian Gauntlet, things are tense, to say the least." She pulled a bottle of some kind of her desk and took a swig.

Well, my illusions about her were completely shattered at this point.

"Well lets get down to brass tacks then. Who is paying me and how much? I imagine this fee will be covering not only the possible danger but also my discretion, yes?" I decided to move along. While the politics and all were somewhat interesting, despite my protestations to wanting no part of that world anymore, I was more interested in money. Money under the table was even better because, as far as the tax collectors were concerned, it didn't exist.

In answer, she tossed a small bag on the table. I opened it and tried to keep my emotions under control. There was gold in this here bag. Along with other denominations, coins from a mixture of countries of origin.

"That's from my personal finances. Another bag just like that when you're done. I need this done quickly and quietly. You don't have to go tonight, but I need info before the week is up. Please, Miss Marchesi. This is really important to me."

It must be, I thought, for an overworked secretary to pay me out of her own pocket like this. End of the week, huh? That gives me a few days to plan.

"You have a deal, Farina. And you can call me Alta. As far as I'm concerned, we're practically proper friends. I'll get this done as soon as possible. Trust me." I said, tucking the money in my hip pouch and standing up, holding my hand out.

Farina likewise stood and accepted my hand in hers.

"Thank you, Alta. This means more to me than you'll ever know." She said, shaking my hand firmly.

"And for the amount of gold you've just given me, I don't need to." I smiled knowingly.

"Oh, one last thing." She said as my hand grasped the doorknob.

"Yes?" I asked, a bit in my stomach forming.

"I'm coming along." She said.

I sighed and realized this was going to be a bigger pain in my arse than I thought.