Dark Explorations

Alice pulled away as she finally managed to stop her tears. She wiped her eyes and tried to make eye contact afterwards, a failing attempt. I could see her face run red with blush as she realized what she just did. She backed away and sat back down in her chair and an awkward silence spread across the room as none of us knew exactly how to react.

I found two impulses crossing each other as she pulled away. My logic wanted to question what happened and why she behaved like this. I couldn’t understand her reaction. She hugged me after realizing she was the American Girl Hacker? Why? She stated she had watched my video about her and I remember identifying her as the likely suspect. That wasn’t a unique conclusion, many other authors and theorists agreed with me due to her previous histories with many of the victims. I pointed out her history of voyeurism and bullying as a motive. Did she take it as a compliment? I don’t remember voicing any praise for her. The Alice I had known previously and the profile created for the hacker had many crossover but certain facts just didn’t align, notably that Alice wasn’t sadistic. I couldn’t find the logic in her psychology.

My second impulse came from somewhere I usually don’t hear from. I consider myself a logical person and have put an effort to not think irrationally or emotionally. It had been years since my last date or girlfriend and some part of me gave up on trying to make those deep human connections. I wasn’t claiming that Alice liked me like that, I wasn’t bold enough to assume or guess that. I was also afraid of that possibility. Yet seeing her cry and hug me in what was a moment of joy tugged at my heart in an unfamiliar direction. It seemed to tell me to ignore those questions and accept what was happening in front of me. It was an odd feeling. It felt similar to having a cat fall asleep in your lap, like I had been chosen for a responsibility and my heart stood to attention to accept it despite whatever debates my logic may propose.

As she moved away, I bit down on my heart and this strange emotion. I guess, I can consider my objective of making Alice my friend to be completed. In all honesty, I hadn’t planned for it to happen so soon or really be so effective. I had no conclusive idea on how I could now use the good credit I had with Alice to escape Sofia and her boss. I could not even tell if this reaction was enough to get Alice to, whether intentionally or unintentionally, help in my escape. Considering her jump from not even being able to physically exist in front of me to outright hugging me, I hoped it was.

Sofia was the one to claw me from my thoughts and us out of the awkward silence. Her expression was still in shock as she walked over towards me. She placed her slice of cake down on the table and raised the back of her hand into the air. I managed to raise a hand in defense and closed my eyes and braced for impact as she swung at me. She didn’t make contact though. I opened my eyes and saw her hand had stopped inches from my face. Her face was twisted into a flustered expression of both disgust and shock. Alice jumped up from her chair and grabbed Sofia’s arm. She clearly couldn’t stop Sofia if she wanted to, she was too frail. But this caused Sofia to look over at her surprised. A wordless exchange happened between the two as Alice’s eyes showed a dangerous fire behind them I didn’t recognize. Sofia met her gaze and for a few seconds it felt as if the temperature in the room skyrocketed. I backed up in the chair and built some distance between me and the two killers.

“What was that about, Sofia?”

Sofia broke their staring contest and looked towards me. Alice watched Sofia cautiously. Sofia lowered her arms, no longer preparing to attack me. Her voice low, but firm, an unwavered intensity to it that caused me brace.

“What are you doing to us, Alan?”

Sofia hissed at me, more of an accusation than a question. Alice spoke up behind her pulling Sofia’s attention back towards her.

“H-He didn’t do anything, Sofia. I got emotional and cried, t-that’s it.”

Sofia looked back towards me and pointed at me. Her teeth were bared as I could practically hear the sound of them scraping together in her anger.

“This motherfucker is manipulating us! I don’t know how, but he is. Look at his face! He’s blushing like an idiot.”

I raised my hand to my face. There was a heat to my cheeks that I hadn’t realized was there. Alice spoke before I could defend myself.

“I-It’s from me h-hugging him! H-He’s done nothing wrong!”

I held my hands up defensively. Sofia’s glare was erratic as she tried to focus on both Alice and I. Her pupils seemed to shake inside her skull with rage. I tried to steady myself and calm down this rabid predator.

“Sofia, I don’t know what you’re angry about. I don’t know why you think I’m manipulating you or Alice. I’m sorry if her hugging me set you off, but I can assure you I’m not doing anything to try and control or manipulate you.”

Sofia seemed to breathe smoke from her nose as the anger in her went unplacated. She pulled her arm free of Alice who could only watch in horror as she was easily thrown off. She took a step towards me and pointed a finger right into my chest. It hurt slightly as she pushed it into me and with my back to the wall I had nowhere to run. That’s all she did though.

“I don’t care about your assurances. I know that ever since I walked into this place and heard your stupid voice, my head has been pounding and I can’t stop all these god damn thoughts! You’re doing something to me and clearly to Alice too.”

Her eyes were frantic and I could see as her mind chased whatever lead it could to back her up. Alice was staring in wide-eyed disbelief as Sofia continued to drill her finger into me. I couldn’t placate her just by declaring my innocence. I couldn’t make her happy since she moved in. I was growing tired of Sofia. I can’t understand what her problem is. I don’t know what she’s talking about with her head and thoughts. What I did know was that I no longer cared. Everyday, she fights me in my own home. She tries to push me around and treat me like shit. She may be a serial killer, an erotophonophile, and one of the most dangerous people I’ll ever meet, but there’s only so much a man can take. I felt some of the old anger I felt back when I was teenager return to me.

I grabbed her hand and pushed it off of me. She may be stronger, but I managed to catch her off guard as I held her fist off to the side and looked straight into her eyes. A sudden stability returned to her pupils as she naturally took a step back at my sudden movement. Alice similarly looked shocked and gasped.

“Shut up and listen, Sofia! I don’t care. You can have whatever problems with me, but this is my home. I did everything to be a good host to you. Yet you keep threatening me and treating me like your doormat. I’ve never in my life sat down and let myself be bullied. If you want me to submit, you’ll have to fucking kill me. Go explain to your boss how your secret weapon and bloodhound got killed because you couldn’t keep your mouth shut.”

Sofia was silent as she took a step back and pulled her hand away from my grip. Her eyes remained locked on to me as she took a few more steps away from me. Her expression was a twisted mess of anger, shock, and something else. The locked on look in her eyes carried something I couldn’t quite recognize, yet caused her to create a gap until she was standing by Alice again. Alice watched her with a silent awed expression and red flush to her face. I didn’t break eye contact for a second.

I knew that was the stupidest thing I had ever done. No matter how many fights I was in. No matter how many times I snuck out at night. Whether it was trying drugs or breaking into abandoned homes, it was never dangerous like this. This tiger was backing away and watching me, waiting for any sign of weakness so it could pounce on me. I watched as she reached into her waistband, where she usually kept that freakishly big knife. I knew logically I needed to defend myself, to find some way to protect myself. Yet I listened to my heart again. It told me to stand tall and determined, to not break eye contact and instead stare down this predator and call her bluff. To make a bet that she wouldn’t kill me, that she would do what her boss wanted and keep me alive and just deal with it. That this wild animal was still able to be tamed, like she told me I was.

Sofia was the first to flinch. She grabbed the knife and I saw her body stop herself for a brief moment. In that moment of hesitation, her composure cracked like a damn bursting. She dropped the knife back into her waistband and closed her eyes. Her hands reached up to her head and she screamed. Alice grabbed her ears to cover from the loud guttural scream of frustration she released.

“Gahhh!”

She kicked a chair that sat unoccupied next to the table, causing it to fly across the room and land with a crash that thankfully left nothing damaged. She looked back at me with eyes that held zero thread of sanity or critical thinking and met mine. I had bit my own tongue to avoid cracking in front of her anger. A second passed as she hunched forward breathing heavily, unwilling to act yet unwilling to back down. She was only met with my own stupid indignation.

She turned away and stomped off. The impact of each step vibrated through the room. There was little for someone to storm off in this apartment so she went to the only door she could slam. Sofia entered the bathroom and smashed the door behind her so hard I thought she might have broken it. I won’t find out until later when she leaves it after calming down. My knees gave out the moment she was gone and I fell to the floor with my back against the wall. Alice rushed over and kneeled down next to me. She grabbed my hand and made sure I was steady.

“O-Oh my god, a-are you alright, A-Alan?”

Alice stuttered in panic, but I nodded.

“I’m okay, don’t worry. That was stupid of me though.”

I opened my eyes and found myself looking up to her. There was a bright red blush on her cheeks. She was adorable like this, almost like a beautiful cherub descending. Her almond eyes an emotion in them I couldn’t quite pierce above being simply joy. Alice shook her head.

“Y-Yeah, but y-you handled that so much b-better than I could have. I-I’m jealous of your s-strength.”

I shook my head back and tried to stand up. Alice helped me up and I saw that her cake remained only with a few bites.

“That wasn’t strength. That was just me at the end of my last nerve. I’m sorry if it ruined your birthday though.”

Alice laughed at me and looked up at me with a genuine smile.

“N-No, you didn’t r-ruin anything. C-Come on, we still have c-cake to eat!”

I grabbed the chair which Sofia kicked and placed it back at the table so Alice and I could eat our slices. It was much quieter now and Alice and I enjoyed the cake in each other's company.