Chapter 68: What Are We?
Chapter 68
.
."Y-Yes..." Jiang Li said, his eyes tightly shut, as if refusing to see Shen Yu’s reaction.
There was a reason he had never told him.
He had always been afraid—afraid of the way Shen Yu would look at him if he found out that the boy from that night, the one at the club months ago, had been him.
The boy who wore revealing clothes.
The boy who spoke boldly, flirted easily, and acted as if he did that with everyone.
Jiang Li didn’t want Shen Yu to see that version of him.
He wanted to remain... pure, innocent—in Shen Yu’s eyes.
He didn’t want the things he had done back then, when he had been desperate for Shen Yu’s attention, to affect how Shen Yu saw him now.
Because of that—
They had stopped kissing.
Jiang Li’s eyes remained closed, his breathing uneven. He couldn’t even begin to imagine what was going through Shen Yu’s mind, and whatever it was, he was sure he wouldn’t like it.
Slowly, hesitantly, he opened his eyes.
When he did, he found Shen Yu already staring at him, his dark eyes quiet and unreadable.
The moment their gazes met, Shen Yu straightened slightly, though his eyes never left Jiang Li.
Jiang Li swallowed.
He tried to sit up on his own, but before he could, Shen Yu reached out and held his arm, helping him upright with a steady grip.
"If I never remembered that night... that the boy wearing the bunny mask was you... you never would have told me, right?" Shen Yu asked, one brow lifting slightly.
His voice wasn’t cold like Jiang Li had expected.
But it wasn’t soft either.
It was simply... Shen Yu.
Jiang Li’s lips pressed together as he tried to respond, but before he could speak, Shen Yu added firmly—
"Do not lie, Jiang Li."
At that, Jiang Li’s lips tightened even more. He lowered his gaze and nodded faintly.
"Y-Yes..." he stammered.
"Why...?" Shen Yu asked.
Jiang Li closed his eyes briefly before opening them again. He let out a quiet breath, his gaze shifting to the steering wheel instead of Shen Yu.
He couldn’t bring himself to look at him.
"I... I was afraid," he admitted softly. "You’d think of me the wrong way. It’s easy for people to misunderstand me... to call me names just because of what I am."
His voice trembled slightly as he continued.
"An unnatural thing... something that ruins people’s marriages."
As the words left his mouth, memories surfaced without warning.
His father’s voice.
His mother crying.
The night he came home, broken and terrified after being assaulted again and again. Instead of comfort, his father had beaten him, accusing him—saying the man who hurt him was married, that Jiang Li had ruined his life.
That it was Jiang Li’s fault.
That he must have released his pheromones on purpose.
That he wanted it.
Those men were never punished.
They were never arrested.
And Jiang Li had been left with the blame.
His hands began to tremble.
He squeezed his eyes shut and took a shaky breath, trying to steady himself.
"I’m sorry... Shen Yu," he whispered, his gaze dropping again.
Shen Yu watched him silently.
The omega’s voice was quiet, fragile, and filled with something that made Shen Yu’s chest tighten.
It wasn’t the way Jiang Li avoided his gaze that affected him.
It was his words.
Unnatural thing.
Born to ruin marriages.
Shen Yu frowned slightly, confusion flickering across his expression—until he remembered Doctor Norman’s words.
Siren omega.
His expression softened.
Without saying anything, he reached out and pulled Jiang Li closer, wrapping his arms around him. Jiang Li’s smaller frame fit easily against him, and Shen Yu rested his chin lightly on top of his head, his eyes closing briefly.
As the pieces of Jiang Li’s past began to fall into place in his mind, something heavy settled in his chest.
It felt suffocating.
Like a poisonous hand tightening around his heart.
"...Did they ever touch you?" Shen Yu asked quietly after a moment.
He leaned back slightly, his dark eyes searching Jiang Li’s honey-brown ones.
"...Is that why?"
Jiang Li shook his head slowly.
"You were my first time... Shen Yu," he said softly.
Shen Yu’s expression stilled.
Then, without hesitation, he pulled Jiang Li back into his arms, holding him even tighter than before.
Time passed quietly between them.
Eventually, Jiang Li pulled away from the hug. When he looked up, his eyes were filled with unshed tears.
Shen Yu frowned slightly, confused.
Jiang Li hadn’t cried earlier, even when things had been worse.
So why now?
Before he could ask, Jiang Li spoke.
"Shen Yu... what are we...?" he asked, his voice trembling.
Shen Yu froze.
His eyes widened slightly at the question.
And that single reaction—
It was enough.
Jiang Li’s expression shifted immediately. Hurt flashed across his eyes, quick and sharp, before he turned and pushed the car door open.
"Wait—" Shen Yu started, reaching out instinctively.
But he was too late.
Jiang Li had already stepped out, walking quickly—almost running—toward his apartment.
Shen Yu stopped.
What was he going to say?
The question lingered heavily in the air.
He leaned back against the seat and let his head fall forward, resting against the steering wheel again.
Things had gotten complicated.
No—
They had been complicated for a while.
He and Jiang Li had kissed.
They had slept together.
They comforted each other.
They held each other, stayed close... and now Jiang Li was carrying his child.
Everything they were doing—
It was what couples did.
Even married ones.
And yet...
He hadn’t given Jiang Li anything clear.
He knew Jiang Li liked him.
He knew that.
This was far beyond the "taking responsibility" he had mentioned before.
Shen Yu closed his eyes, a headache slowly building as too many thoughts collided in his mind at once.
Just then, his phone vibrated.
He reached for it and glanced at the screen.
It was a message from Lin Yushen.
[ Ge, can you come over? I cooked too much food, and Lin Yuze misses you. ]
Shen Yu stared at the message for a moment before letting out a quiet sigh.
He closed his eyes briefly, then typed a reply.
[ Sure ]
.
.
A/N: I think one question many readers might have is:
Q: If Jiang Li was assaulted multiple times when he was younger, how was Shen Yu his first time? ( -_・)?
A: The people who assaulted Jiang Li never managed to go all the way. Most of them were Alphas who lost control because of Jiang Li’s scent, while others were simply disturbed individuals and predators.
Although Jiang Li was assaulted, they were never able to fully violate him. Also, to clarify, only three people assaulted Jiang Li.