Banished Divinity: Learning to be Human

That night, after the chaos of the Director's office, the parking lot drama, and Dad's increasingly creative threats against Jaehyun's existence, I finally collapsed into my bed. Moo Moo was already curled on my pillow, his little green body rising and falling with the peaceful rhythm of someone who had never been asked to fight five girls at once or attend a meeting with angry parents.

Human Sera hovered near the ceiling, still buzzing with residual excitement. She had been talking non-stop for the past hour, mostly about Jaehyun's arms, which I had firmly requested she never mention again.

"He's so tall," she said for the fourteenth time or was it a hundredth time, I lost count after 3. "Did you see how tall he was? When he stood next to Yuna? He towered over her. Like a majestic oak tree. A very handsome oak tree with nice shoulders."

"I saw nothing," I said into my pillow. "I am a celestial being. I do not notice mortal physiques."

"You definitely noticed. You wrote 'nice shoulders' in your observation log. I saw you."

"I wrote ‘Shoulders’, there is a difference. And that was a scientific observation."

"Science doesn't blush, Sera."

"I did not blush."

"Your face is currently the colour of a ripe tomato."

"It is the lighting in this room."

"There is no light. The lamp is off."

I rolled over and pulled the blanket over my head. Moo Moo made a small sound of protest and curled tighter against my shoulder. The traitor.

My phone buzzed.

Human Sera froze mid-air. Her translucent eyes locked onto the device on my nightstand like a hawk spotting prey. "Who is that? Who is messaging you at this hour? Is it him? IS IT JAEHYUN?"

"I don't know," I mumbled. "It's probably Mina asking me to fetch her something. She does that. I am not a delivery service, but she persists."

"CHECK IT! CHECK IT NOW!"

I groaned. I reached out from under the blanket, grabbed the phone, and pulled it back into my cocoon of misery.

The screen glowed.

Unknown Number: Hey, let's meet at 3pm at Blossom Haven Park this Saturday. You know, the one with all the flowers blooming.

I stared at the message. Then I stared at it again.

"That's him!" Human Sera screamed. She shot through the blanket—because ghosts have no respect for physical barriers—and appeared right in front of my face, her ghostly nose touching mine. "THAT'S HIM! THAT'S MY JAEHYUN! HE SAID THE THING! THE PARK! THE FLOWERS! OH MY GOD, SERA, THIS IS SO ROMANTIC!"

"He didn't even sign his name," I said flatly. "It could be anyone. It could be a serial killer. It could be Yuna pretending to be Jaehyun to lure me to a secondary location."

Human Sera stared at me. "Why would Yuna pretend to be Jaehyun to lure you to a park full of flowers?"

"To finish what she started. By blood, she said. Those were her words."

"Sera, she's not going to murder you in a public park at 3pm on a Saturday. There will be families. There will children. There will be old people feeding pigeons."

"Old people can be surprisingly dangerous. I once fought an ancient being who looked like a harmless grandmother. She nearly ended me with a wooden spoon."

Human Sera blinked. "That's... that's actually kind of impressive."

"It was humiliating. I do not speak of it."

She floated closer to the phone, reading the message again. Her face was practically glowing—literally. Her ghostly form had brightened to the point where I could use her as a reading lamp. "Blossom Haven Park," she whispered reverently. "I know that place. I used to go there as a kid. It's beautiful in spring. All the cherry blossoms and magnolias and—" She gasped. "How did he know? How did he know I love flowers blooming? I never told him!"

"You never told him anything. You're dead. You can't talk to him."

"Maybe he sensed it. Maybe our souls are connected across the veil of death and he can feel my presence and my love for horticulture."

"That's not a thing."

"It could be a thing. You don't know. You're not dead."

"I am a celestial being. I know many things."

"Clearly not romance."

I sighed. I typed back a simple response: Fine.

"FINE?" Human Sera shrieked. "FINE? That's all you're going to say? No exclamation marks? No heart emojis? No 'I can't wait to see you and also your shoulders are very nice'?"

"That would be lying. I cannot wait to not see him. I am currently dreading it. And his shoulders are adequate at best."

"ADEQUATE?! His shoulders are sculptures carved by the gods themselves!"

"The gods have better things to do than sculpt mortal shoulders."

"Clearly not, because those shoulders exist, and they are magnificent."

I ignored her and saved the number. "What do I name this contact?"

"Jaehyun, obviously. With a heart next to it. Two hearts. No, three hearts. And a little flower emoji."

I typed slowly, deliberately: Sick Puppy Who Needs Ice Cream.

Human Sera's face went through approximately seventeen emotions in two seconds. Shock. Horror. Betrayal. Rage. More rage. Slightly less rage. Existential crisis.

"SICK PUPPY?!" she wailed. "YOU NAMED MY MAN SICK PUPPY?!"

"He asked for ice cream. He has no regard for his own health. That is sick puppy behaviour, is it not? Mina told me sick puppy is where mortal has the look of pleading or longing expression? Which he does look like one earlier at the parking lot."

"DELETE IT! DELETE IT RIGHT NOW!"

Clearly, she ignored what I just said.

"No."

"SERA, I SWEAR ON MY GRAVE—"

"You don't have a grave. Your body is still intact with me."

"oh yah, point taken. Ok, I SWEAR ON MY BODY, DELETE IT!"

"He is a sick puppy. A very tall, shoulder-y sick puppy." I stood my ground.

Human Sera looked like she was about to have a ghostly aneurysm. Her form flickered. Her eye twitched—and I noted with scientific curiosity that even in death, the family eye twitch persisted. Fascinating. I added it to my observation log.

"Please," she said, her voice dropping to a desperate whisper. "Please, Sera. Respect my man. He is not a sick puppy. He is a beautiful, kind, emotionally available human being who asked you/me on a date to a flower park. Change the name. For me. For the dead girl who can never go on a date again."

That last part hit harder than I wanted to admit.

I looked at her. At the ghost who had been following me around for months, haunting my study sessions, screaming into my ear about boys, and somehow becoming the closest thing I had to a confidant in this strange mortal life.

"Fine," I said. "What do you want me to name him?"

Her eyes lit up. "Darling."

"Absolutely not."

"DARLING!"

"That is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard."

"You owe me! You are in my body! You are living my life! The least you can do is name my crush 'Darling' in your phone!"

I stared at her. She stared back. Her lower lip trembled. It was a weaponized trembling, the kind of trembling that had probably gotten her out of trouble with Mum a thousand times when she was alive.

I sighed. I deleted Sick Puppy Who Needs Ice Cream and typed, with the enthusiasm of a prisoner signing their own death warrant: Darling

Human Sera clapped her ghostly hands together. "YES! PERFECT! Now put a heart next to it!"

"No."

"ONE HEART!"

"One period. That is all you get."

"Fine. But I'm mentally adding three hearts and a flower."

"You do that. I cannot stop you."

She floated in happy circles around the room, her form glowing like a very pleased firefly. Moo Moo opened one eye, looked at her, and went back to sleep. Even he knew when to ignore her.

"Now," Human Sera said, suddenly businesslike, "mark it on the calendar."

"The calendar?"

"The desk calendar! The one you never use! We need to mark this day! It's important! It's historical! Future generations will look back on this day and say, 'That is when your great great great grandmother went on her first date with Oh! Handsome great great great grandfather and didn't completely ruin everything!'"

"You have very low expectations." I sigh.

"I have realistic expectations. Now MARK IT."

I dragged myself out of bed. Moo Moo made a sound of protest but immediately stole my warm spot. The traitorous beast.

I walked to my desk, found the calendar buried under a pile of economics notes, and flipped to this Saturday which is the 15th of August.

"Make it cute," Human Sera said, hovering over my shoulder. "Draw little hearts. Little flowers. Maybe a tiny cup of ice cream."

I picked up a red pen. I wrote, in very large letters: D-DAY

Human Sera stared at the calendar. Then at me. Then back at the calendar.

"D-Day," she repeated slowly. "Like... the Normandy invasion?"

"Yes. Armageddon. The beginning of the end. The day I sacrifice myself for the greater good."

"It's a date, Sera. With a boy. Who likes me."

"Same thing. There will be casualties. Probably my dignity."

Human Sera stared at the calendar for another long moment. Then she started laughing—that wind-chime laugh that was somehow both beautiful and annoying. "You know what? Fine. D-Day it is. But I'm adding hearts."

She reached toward the calendar with her ghostly finger. Nothing happened. Because she was a ghost.

"Oh," she said. "Right. You do it."

I sighed and added three hearts next to D-DAY. They looked sad. Like hearts drawn by someone who had never drawn a heart before and was being forced to do so at emotional gunpoint.

"Beautiful," Human Sera said. "Now sleep. Tomorrow, the real work begins."

"What real work?"

"Getting you ready for the date, obviously. We have three days. Three days to turn you from a celestial warrior into a date-able human being."

"I am already date-able."

"You put mismatched socks on this morning and didn't notice until I pointed it out."

"That's charm."

"That's chaos. Now sleep."

I crawled back into bed. Moo Moo rolled over and made room. Human Sera dimmed her glow to a soft nightlight and settled into her usual spot near the window.

"Goodnight, current me," she said.

"Goodnight, ghost me."

"Dream of nice shoulders."

"I will dream of nothing."

"You're going to dream of shoulders and you're going to like it."

I closed my eyes and did not dream of shoulders.

I dreamed of economic supply curves. Which was somehow worse.