Master of Minds, Master of Me

No matter how many times I swing my sword, no matter how many trees I destroy, the pain doesn’t go away. If Lo wasn’t already planning on leaving me, she surely is now. I only snapped out of it when I felt her pulse getting so slow, realizing that she couldn’t breathe.

Fuck, I’m messed up. Maybe burying every single negative thought and emotion for my whole life wasn’t the right call. Since now, whenever they surface, I have no control over them. I know Lo likes me, I know that. But when the mana took over, I couldn’t see any other option than the one where she wants to leave and escape me. It brainwashes me completely.

All my hatred toward the Palace erupted too. She must think I’m a total psychopath or something. I am truly a huge failure. No matter how much I try. No matter how many things I do right, nothing is ever enough. Not to my father, not to her, not to anyone. I’m never good enough.

Maybe really destroying the Palace is the right thing to do. Then I could escape the misery it causes me.

No. Don’t let the dark thoughts control you. Just push them down, like you have always done.

I let my magic flow more into my sword and swing it. An electricity wave hits the trees, lighting them up in flames.

Goddammit. I try to dig up my reason. I don’t want to destroy the whole fucking forest. I try my best to gather water; my body resists, but I fight back. I throw the water at the trees, and luckily, it’s enough to kill the fire.

Fuck. How did it come to this? How did my life end up being a big mess? I just wanted to live a normal life. I hate being a Royal. I hate being on a pedestal. I hate being perfect. I hate that I’m surrounded by scheming minds that want only to use me. I hate everything about the Palace.

But then she came. She really was like an angel coming to lighten up my life. She gave meaning to my life. All I want is her. I want to live with her, I want to be with her. And I want to fuck her so much. I want to make her squirm and scream. I want to use her. I want to do everything to her. To see how much she could take.

I should just take her. Take her and leave. Lock her up somewhere where she can’t escape and leave me. Who cares what happens if I don't take the throne? All I care about is having her.

Another electric wave leaves my sword and lights up trees on fire.

“Trying to steal my habit of burning things?”

I turn around and see Theodore, lazily leaning against a tree that is chopped in half by me.

“Go away.”

“And miss you going berserk? Hell no.”

“So you are just here to watch? Not to stop me?”

“Neither. I’m here to have a little experiment.”

I laugh at him mockingly.

“Of course you are. Want to witness what happens when I finally lose all control? To see will I just explode or what?”

He starts to walk toward me slowly. I see he is dragging a sword, the tip grazing the ground as he walks like some dangerous beast toward me.

“No. I’m rather eager to know whether you will finally be able to beat me in that state.”

I laugh even more.

“You know that the only reason I haven’t beaten you in swordfighting is the fact that I never used my magic to enhance my strength.”

“Why didn’t you?”

“It felt like cheating.”

He swings his sword to rest on his shoulder while grinning.

“Feel free to cheat. Give it your all.”

I narrow my eyes at him. Is he being serious? He wants to fight me? Not just spar, but fight? I want to say no, but I’m too consumed by my illusion mana. So I just lift my sword onto my shoulder and face him.

“Don’t regret it if you lose.”

He chuckles as I charge at him, letting the electricity magic flow in my veins and muscles. Our swords collide, and the magic crackles around us as we fight. He really is one huge beast. The scariest thing is that his power is just brute, unhinged strength. I know I could never win against him without magic. But with magic? Even his strength pales compared to mine.

The whole forest trembles around us, trees lighting up in flames. Animals screech as they run away from us.

I catch him off guard a couple of times, so he has to use his barrier to prevent me from sinking my sword into his flesh. I take that solely as a win, since I have never managed to do that before. The fight starts to get addictive. I want to see how many times I manage to make him activate his barrier. I love the look on his face every time I surprise him. Even though he is clearly losing, he just keeps smiling, clearly enjoying this.

“I have to give it to you, Felix. You really are a beast.”

I chuckle. “I take that as a compliment, since a beast is saying that.”

“You should. I guess I need to train a little harder.”

I let all my affinities flow into my sword as I aim all my strength toward his sword. He clearly thinks I’m just trying to hit him with a pathetic angle, a far too easy strike to block. Which is true, if I were trying to hit him in the first place. I know he keeps blocking my attacks with his barrier when I manage to hit him. So my best option is to disarm him.

I give all I’ve got as I strike his sword, and it breaks so fucking beautifully in half. I love seeing Theodore’s surprised expression. It’s so rare to see anything other than annoyance, hatred, or boredom in his face.

“Jeez. You owe me a sword.”

I sink my sword into the ground and lean against it, chest heaving. I’m pretty exhausted, and apparently so is my mana. I feel more in control because of it.

“I owe you nothing. It was your call to challenge me.” I can’t help but chuckle in amusement. “Your face was worth going a little berserk. You should have seen the look on your face. It was hilarious.”

“Well, you did surprise me there. So, feeling better?”

“Yes, thanks. I owe you again. How did you know to come look for me?”

“Lorelia contacted me with your communication stone.”

My heart stills. Fuck. My pretty flower must have been so scared. I need to go to her and apologize. I sheath my sword.

“Please, could you teleport me back to the Palace? I need to make sure she is alright.”

“She sounded alright, only worried about you. Why wouldn’t she be alright? Did you do something to her?”

“Yes, I did. I need to go apologize.”

“I asked if you threatened her, and she said no.”

“Well, she lied. I almost killed her.”

“Killed her? Why?”

“I thought that maybe if we die together, we could be reborn together and be together freely then. Thinking that it would be the only way to escape from the Palace.”

“From the Palace? Why would you want to escape the Palace?”

Of course, he wouldn’t understand. No one knows about my love-hate relationship with being a Royal. I hate how it binds me and defines me, that it is a prison I’m never able to escape. But I love how I can help our country thrive. I love how I can help everyone live a better life. If I can’t have a happy life like that, I want others to have it. So, even I might hate the Palace. I still honestly want to be a great ruler. And I know I will be.

“No reason. It doesn’t concern you. Could you just please take me back?”

“Sure. But I don’t think you should see her.”

“Why?”

“It’s clear that she ignites your little outbursts. Your mana might be calmer, but it’s still far from calm. And you have your engagement party tomorrow. So focus on getting yourself under control and go see her tomorrow. I’ll tell her that you are okay.”

I hate the fact that he is probably right. I don’t want to risk hurting her again. I don’t want to scare her any more than I already have. Tomorrow should be one of the happiest days of my life. So let’s focus on making tomorrow perfect.