Master of Minds, Master of Me

It’s Monday, and this time I’m not stepping inside that church. Never again. I know I can't escape his visions inside my room either, but at least he is not able to fool me by pretending to be someone else. Since only Milna visits my room.

Last night, he did torment me with his visions. I woke up many times at night, seeing him inside my room. Lurking in the corner, whispering from the shadows. And every single time my heart bounded wildly inside my chest.

Today we have one group meeting, and after that, the individual meetings with Felix start. On Friday, they will announce the top three, and after that, I’m free. I have no idea how I’m going to survive that private meeting with Felix. But let's worry about that when the time comes.

Milna is escorting me to the group meeting, which happens in a guest room this time. It’s supposed to be just some relaxed talk. They probably just want to see who gets along with Felix the best. When I enter, some of the ladies are already chattering excitedly. I force my usual smile, greet them all, and go sit down in one of the armchairs.

It doesn't take long for Felix to arrive, and almost all the ladies just jump all over him like hyenas. I don't like it. But I have no right to be jealous either. At some point, all of us are sitting down, and I’m not even paying any attention to the topic at hand. I’m too focused on just trying to avoid looking at Felix.

“So what do you think, Lady Lorelia?”

My heart stops when I hear Felix say that. I raise my head to look at him. He is watching me expectantly. I have no idea what they were talking about. Crap.

“About what?”

“What part of me is the best?” he says, smirking.

Were they really talking about something like that? What kind of topic is that? I can't answer it. I glance around at the others, and they are just smiling like it’s the most natural subject to talk about. I shift my gaze back to Felix, and he is still just smiling at me.

“Is there so many good things about me that it's hard to choose just one?”

“I…” What should I say? I have no idea.

Then Felix slowly gets up and starts to walk toward me. What the hell is he doing?

“Maybe it’s my looks?” He keeps his smirk on, and his gaze intensifies. “Or my romantic side? You have to admit that my notes are rather sweet.”

What? How can he say that in front of all the others?

“Or is it my playful side?”

I keep staring at him as he approaches me. I’m just too shocked about what he is doing. When he is standing in front of me, he crouches down, and his hands land on my thighs. My eyes widen even more. He can't be serious right now.

“Or is it how my hands and touch make you feel?”

“Yo—Your Highness. What are you doing?” I ask in a shaky voice.

His gaze drills into me as his eyes slowly darken. His hands slide down my legs and slip under the dress. I should just get up and escape. But my body won't move. I just keep staring at him as his hands start to caress my legs. I feel my body tensing. His touch affects me way too much. My hem lifts as his hands slide toward my core. He leans in, gently kissing my inner thigh, and I hold my breath.

“Or is it how my mouth feels in your aching pussy?”

I feel my inner walls squeezing at his words. His vulgar words always feel so wrong. I can never understand how he can speak like that. His mouth slowly slides closer, and I just keep staring at him in shock. My whole body is on fire already. Just a little bit more, and then I can feel him again. Just an inch more. I feel myself nudging against him. And then suddenly everything changes.

Felix is sitting on the couch, talking with the other candidates. I’m sitting on the chair, my dress and everything neatly in place. The only difference is that my heart is beating loudly, and I’m clenching my thighs together. I feel the wetness in me.

I can't believe he would do something like that. Especially when there are others around. He really is insane. Or am I the insane one for just letting him do that? When he approached me, I instantly forgot everyone else around us. He was the only thing on my mind.

I lift my gaze to look at him. His eyes immediately meet mine, and he just winks at me and returns to his conversation. I immediately look at the floor, feeling embarrassed.

Four days. Only four days, and I’m free of him. Free from this weird need to have him and feel him.

I try to focus on what everyone is talking about. For the first time, I realize that Florentia is not here anymore. Lucky her. I wish I could escape this place too, like she apparently did. Or actually, now that I think about it, I guess it’s the time when she and her father finally get caught for treason. So maybe she isn't that lucky after all.

They are conversing about everyone's hobbies and talents. Probably trying to find some common interest with Felix. Someone moves to play the piano. The music surely is pretty. We have a piano in our home too, but no one ever plays it. Not sure why we even have it. But listening to this song does ease my mind quite a bit. I lift my gaze to the girl who is playing. She is furrowing her brows, clearly concentrating. I spot a tiny mistake; she pressed the wrong key.

The song ends, and another girl goes to play. I keep listening. She picked a rather hard song to play. Probably trying to impress Felix with it. Almost all the girls get in line to play the piano. Is it that common for nobles to play the piano? But I don’t mind. I rather enjoy listening to this. There, of course, are some mistakes here and there, but they are just part of the playing. We all make mistakes, especially when nervous. All the songs are still beautiful to listen to.

“Lady Lorelia, it’s your turn to give it a go.”

I lift my gaze to meet Felix’s. Me? Play? Why? I just freeze once again. Maybe it’s just another one of his visions meant to tease me. So I can just ignore him.

But then a girl shoves me by the shoulder and whispers,

“Come on! It’s rude to decline.”

So it’s not a vision? Do I really have to play? Do I even know how to play? I force myself up and walk next to the piano. I feel my body shaking. Am I just going to embarrass myself in front of everyone? I sit down and let my fingers gently move on the keys. Actually, this feels oddly familiar. Maybe I did play as a kid. When I let my hands slide, I clearly remember the right keys too. And then suddenly I do remember. My grandma used to play the piano, and I loved to listen to that. I can’t believe how I had forgotten her. She taught me to play too.

“Have you played before?”

Felix has moved next to the piano and is watching me with a smile.

“I guess so, but it was a long time ago.”

“So, what are you going to play?”

“I don’t remember the name of the song, but I remember the notes.”

He tilts his head and smiles that annoying smile that makes my heart skip a beat. I move my focus to the keys. Let’s just ignore him and focus on this. I close my eyes and let out a heavy exhale before I start to press the keys.

My fingers move hesitantly at first, but the more I play, the more familiar it becomes. The forgotten song fills the air, and I think I even remember the lyrics too. I sing the song inside my head while I play. A huge flood of memories consumes me as I’m playing with my grandma. I knew I had forgotten my childhood during these years of being cursed, so I feel so happy to have some of it back. I loved to play the piano. And I insisted that my parents buy me my own for my ninth birthday. And they did.

I startle a little when Felix sits next to me and places his hands on the keys too. He starts to play with me, filling the song with more notes. I had no idea he could play like this. But I guess, as a Crown Prince, he is taught pretty much everything.

I can’t help but smile. The music makes me feel somehow so utterly free, like my soul is just floating with it. And I can somehow forget all the painful things happening around me. The music consumes me, and I feel the whole world vanishing around us. There is only us and the piano left. Is this really real? Or is he creating this? I have no idea how to distinguish reality from his illusions.

But all too soon, the song comes to an end. I let my fingers rest on the keys for a while. Then I turn to look at Felix, who is just smiling at me with his heartbreaking smile.

“You really are an angel who fell from the skies, aren’t you?”

I just stare at him in shock. Is he really saying that in front of everyone? He leans in to whisper in my ear. Suddenly, his voice drops lower and darker.

“Want to fall even more? I’ll gladly drag you into the pit of sins with me.”

I halt as his words throw my mind into disarray. But sudden applause from the girls in the room wakes me up.

“Your Highness! I had no idea you knew how to play so well!”

“You were absolutely magnificent, Your Highness!”

The room is suddenly full of praise for Felix, which is understandable. Every single girl in here is trying to win his favour. Felix stands up with a smile.

“I think you are praising the wrong one here. It’s quite clear that Lady Lorelia was the one shining here. I just merely kept up with her.”

I barely focus on their talk. I keep sliding my fingers along the keys, still pretty shocked at how I had forgotten how much I enjoyed playing. I’m happy that the talent is still clearly in me somewhere, and that I haven’t forgotten how to play.

The rest of the meeting goes more peacefully, and when I get back to my room, I once again slam the door closed and lean against it, closing my eyes.

I’m not sure what to think after all that. I was mad at him for creating that sick illusion in that kind of situation. Who even thinks about things like that when there are others around? And the worst part is how quickly I forgot the fact that there were others around. I just froze and let him come close. I really have no spine when it comes to him. And that is exactly why I have to avoid him. If I were around him, I’m afraid that he really would make me want to be his Queen. And that can’t happen.

And playing the piano with him was doing exactly that. Why does being with him feel so right nowadays? Being with him makes me forget all the mind games and lies he has made me suffer through.

I open my eyes and once again see the pawn and a note. Since I still haven’t found my spine, I walk straight to it and read the note.

My type is emotionally unavailable girls with great taste in music, like you.

PS. One lock open.

I furrow my brows while reading the note. What lock is he talking about? I open the drawer and put the pawn and note in it, among the others.

I just hope he would give up already.