Master of Minds, Master of Me

These private meetings with other candidates are so hideously boring that I have no idea how I’m going to survive through them. I’m glad it’s only a couple of days, and then I can finally have her.

I really have been rather busy these days. Dealing with Duke Callum has taken too much of my time. Finally, after all these years, I got the evidence I need against him. So getting rid of him is like a gift from God. No need to be so wary of assassinations, or no need to be worried that Florentia is scheming something. But now it’s done. Of course, I know that the people who were on the Duke’s side will still be displeased about me taking the throne. So I can’t be too relaxed. There is always someone scheming something. I just need to show them somehow that trying to go against me is futile.

Of course, consuming my pretty flower’s mind takes my time too, but I don’t mind that, since I enjoy doing that way too much. I still can’t grasp what she is thinking. She was already softening to me, already wanting to be with me. And suddenly she just decided against that? I know that my lies hurt her, but were they really enough reason to just turn her back against me? Or is there still something I don’t know? She is so impossible to understand.

But I have done some digging about her. Since she is not willing to let me know her, I have to use other methods for it. Or actually, sometimes it feels like she doesn’t even know herself anything about her. Like when I have asked her about her childhood, it’s like she doesn’t know what to say. Like she doesn’t remember anything at all. So I sent some of my trusted people to do some digging in Lintel, trying to ask everyone about her.

In the temple, all said the same thing. That she is devoted and calm, gentle and always helping everyone. Everyone there considers her as a good person. Still somehow my pretty flower herself doesn’t consider herself to be good at all. But when everyone talks about her, it’s impossible to believe she actually would be on Duke Callum’s side. But maybe if she was forced to do that, it would explain why she thinks of herself as bad. Maybe the salvation she seeks from God is just a way to get away from the bad guys or something.

So since the priests didn’t provide any new information about my pretty flower, we asked things from the staff in their home. There really weren’t many, but they did tell us much more. And what they told was pretty unexpected. We camouflaged the questioning by just saying it had something to do with the Selection. And the staff really was quite eager to tell everything, clearly excited that my pretty flower might be a Queen. Well, not might, since she will be the Queen.

They told about how she was as a child. Apparently she was a lively child who spent most of her time outside and wanted to explore new places. She hated rainy days when she couldn’t go outside and threw tantrums at God every time the weather was bad, blaming God for her misery. She was short-tempered and hated if people interrupted her. Which I know, since every time I have done that, she has gotten angry. So cute, as always.

She has always loved music and filled the house with her singing. She was very close to her grandmother, who taught her to play the piano. And after that, every rainy day she spent playing it.

But when she turned 18, she changed. She calmed down, started to visit the temple more. She stopped playing and singing. She basically spent all her time at the temple, at the greenhouse, or doing voluntary work.

The big question is why she changed. What happened? Did she just lose her memories or something? But I would guess that at least her family would notice if something like that had happened. Of course, everyone noticed her change and wondered the same thing. She always just said that she wanted to be more devoted and wanted to focus on God and nothing else. So she basically dropped everything else just to be more devoted. Well, everything else other than her passion for flowers. But that probably comes from her magic, so I guess it makes sense that that one stuck with her.

So I just wanted to find out if she would still be eager to play the piano. And judging from how her mind reacted during the meeting, it really seemed like she had just forgotten about it. Her mind was so confused, like she was doing her best to dig something out of her memory. But the memory was clearly still there, since she was just absolutely stunning when she started to play. Her smile was beautiful, and her mind was so peaceful at that moment.

I told her that I would unlock every lock in her, one by one. And I think I just managed to open one of them. One puzzle piece acquired.

And unlocking that lock clearly affected her, since she asked Milna if she could go play the piano today too. I’m heading there now, wanting to see her. Faking to be a maid this time.

I know, I know. Using illusion magic really isn’t the smartest thing to do. But my reason left my body when she said that she doesn’t want to see me and will leave the Palace. Before that I was honestly feeling guilty for the things I had done.

But now?

I don’t care about guilt. All I care about is making her mine. She will not leave the Palace. I don’t care if she is afraid of me. I will torment her mind as much as it needs to break her. I will break her shell, no matter how much she hates it. And when she breaks, I’m there to be on her side, to be the shoulder to cry on. To support her. To listen to every yell, every curse, every hatred. And I will turn that into happiness eventually. Sometimes you just need to break things before making them whole again.

I already hear the music through the door, and that alone makes me smile. I knock on the door, and the music stops, and I hear her voice.

“Come in.”

I open the door and see her, and goddammit, she is so beautiful.

“I’m sorry to interrupt, I came to clean the room.”

“Oh, I’m sorry. I can leave so I’m not in your way.”

“No, no need, Lady Lorelia. The music was very beautiful, just keep playing. Don’t mind me.”

She smiles faintly and nods. Her fingers go back to gently pressing the keys, and soft, calm tones fill the air once again. I go behind her, just watching her, listening to her. I feel my mind being at ease like this. Seeing her smile and enjoying herself. And she really is extremely good at playing. Of course, I thought she would be good if she had played in her childhood, but I had no idea she would be this amazing. It looks like she was born to play the piano. I just hope I could hear her sweet voice sing someday too.

I just place myself behind her and watch her, listening to her play. Her mind feels at ease too. She seems relaxed and happy. I can see a faint smile at the corner of her lips. She really looks like an angel.

She starts to play a song I have never heard of. That’s pretty unusual. I’m pretty sure I know every song that people play. Of course, it can be a new one, something that I haven’t heard yet. But since she clearly hasn’t played for a long time, it seems unlikely. Maybe it’s some song her grandmother composed herself. It’s beautiful and somehow full of emotion. She really has the ability to mesmerize me.

When the song ends, I can’t help but open my mouth.

“What song was that? I haven’t heard it before.”

She lowers her gaze and furrows her brows. “Umm… I don’t know.”

Well, that only verifies the fact that she indeed has lost her childhood memories.

“It was really beautiful to listen to. Where did you learn to play?”

I already know, but I want to know how much she has started to remember.

“My grandmother taught me.” Her voice is hesitant.

“She must have been a really talented one. What was her name?”

She falls silent, her mind confused, clearly not remembering it. So let’s ask something else.

“Do you sing?”

Again, silence. This time I let her sink into her memories, hoping she will remember something new.

I just watch her. Only a few days, and finally all this Selection bullshit is over. And I can finally focus more on her. I can finally have her.

My pretty flower, all mine.

The urge to just sit next to her and lift her to sit on the piano overwhelms me. I could just spread her legs and enjoy the view. I bet she would look so stunning, cheeks flushed and panties soaked. I feel my cock twitching already.

No. Relax, Felix. She is clearly having a sensitive moment about her past. This is not the time to think about having her like that, no matter how tempting that would be.

“I used to,” she finally answers.

I walk next to her, wanting to see her better.

“Why did you stop?”

Maybe this is the perfect opportunity to catch some new information. She turns to look at me, her button eyes making my heart skip a beat once again.

“I guess I just started to focus on other things more.”

“Can I hear you sing?”

Please, please say yes.

“It’s been too long. I don’t think it would be very pleasing to listen to.”

I watch her, tilting my head.

“I’m sure you would sound beautiful.”

I can sense her mind shift, like something snapped inside her head.

Am I busted?

Her face drops.

I’m soooo busted.

“Why are you here, Your Highness?”

I sit next to her and let her see me. I can’t help but smile.

“What gave me away?”

“It doesn’t matter. Answer my question.”

“I just like you too much. I need to see you regularly in order to function.”

“I still can’t understand why. I’m plain and dull. I’m like still water on the dining table. Why would anyone want me when there are so many better options?”

I can’t help but smile at her metaphor.

“I totally agree that you are like water,” I say with a smirk.

She looks rather surprised by my answer, and I keep talking, leaning a little closer to her.

“Because I need you like eight times a day in order to live.”

She turns her head away, looking flustered. So cute.

“Well, you have to survive, since I’m not staying here.”

Every time she mentions that she is going to leave me, it makes the anger rumble in my chest. I’m not letting her go. She should just realize that already. I can’t stop my body from moving and grab her by her waist and lift her to sit on the piano. The keys chatter out a chaotic little tune, the kind only gravity could compose.

Chaotic and beautiful, just like us.