Master of Minds, Master of Me

I feel like my heart is about to burst out of my chest. My body is on fire. His… thing pressing against me feels weird. I want to escape, but he won't let me. The foreign sensation inside me is just too much to bear. I feel like bursting, especially when he moves me against him. The pressure is too much. It makes me want to cry. But still, when he stops, I feel empty afterward. Like my body is disappointed that it ended.

I try my best to focus my attention on him and ignore the heat between my thighs.

“Just tell me the secret already,” I urge him.

Now that I focus on him, he looks like he is struggling somehow. Eyebrows furrowed and lips tightly shut. He takes a deep breath and closes his eyes before finally answering.

“I possess illusion mana.”

Illusion mana? But how? He already has water and electricity. And sure, I know you can create visions with illusion magic, but I had no idea they could be this powerful. I thought they were something tiny.

“How is that possible?” I ask.

He opens his eyes to look at me. They were a little darker before, but now they are lighter again.

“When I was seventeen, illusion mana suddenly awakened inside me. It had been dormant before. So I have three affinities now.”

I had no idea that having three affinities could be possible. That's why I never even entertained myself of the idea that he might been using illusion magic.

“Why didn’t they tell us that when we had lessons about you?”

“I told you already, it’s a secret. Only a handful of people know about it.”

“Why?”

“Well, let’s just say having a third affinity has its cons that I don’t want people to know about.”

“Then why are you telling me this?”

He lifts his right hand from my thigh and strokes my hair behind my ear while smiling at me.

“For two reasons.”

He falls silent, just staring and smiling at me.

“First one being?” I push him.

“For some reason, I trust you.”

Trust me? Why would he trust me? He shouldn’t trust me. I’ve been beheaded for treason at least four times when I tried to convince everyone that Felix was going to end up causing havoc. I don’t deserve his trust.

“Does that make you uncomfortable?”

How did he know that? I mean, he’s right. It does make me very uncomfortable. But I’m sure my expression was still neutral.

“If you’re wondering how I know that, I can sense it.”

“Sense how?” I ask.

“That’s something I can do with my illusion magic. I can’t tell exactly what you’re thinking, but I can feel your emotions to some extent.”

Feel my emotions? From my mind? I don’t like that at all. I’ve learned how to hide everything, to act perfectly normal and proper. I don’t want anyone to be able to probe inside my mind like that.

“What’s the second reason?”

“As much as I like to be the Devil tormenting you, I want you to know the Devil has nothing to do with your growing lust for me.”

I freeze. Growing lust? I have no lust! He’s the perverted one here, not me!

“Let me guess. You’re thinking that you have no growing lust for me?” He smirks.

I narrow my eyes at him. “Yes, since I don’t.”

His eyes glide down my body, and I feel his gaze on me. I feel very uncomfortable under his exploring eyes.

“Don’t look at me like that!” I snap at him.

His eyes immediately lift to meet my defiant gaze, and I find they’ve turned back to a deeper blue. Like the pit of the ocean luring me to dive deeper.

He tilts his head lazily with a smile. “Like what?”

I feel his… thing getting harder under me. The panic starts to creep in again.

“Please, Your Highness. Please let me go. Your…” I choke on my words, feeling too embarrassed to say it out loud.

“My what?” he asks with a knowing smile.

He clearly knows what I mean. What a jerk.

“You know what. Just let me go. Please.”

His hand slides to my throat, fingers curling gently around it. I try to clench my thighs together. Not knowing what I should do. Of course doing that is not affecting much since his body is between my legs.

“How could I know? I just told you that I can’t read minds. Say what you mean.”

I move my hands around his, trying to push it away, but it won’t budge.

“I want your… thing away from me.”

He chuckles lowly. “My thing? Are you really that innocent that you can’t even say it out loud?”

I feel my cheeks heat up and avert my eyes. But his fingers grab my throat more tightly and pull my head closer to him, forcing me to look at him.

“Are you feeling uncomfortable because just a few layers of fabric separates my cock from your aching pussy?”

My eyes widen at his words. How can he say something so… so vulgar?

“Don’t say things like that,” I plea.

He pulls me even closer, and I press my hands against his chest. He leans toward my neck and kisses it while moving his hand from the throat to the back of my neck. Making sure I can't pull away from his lips. I feel my lips part and a sigh escapes me.

“Why not? It looks like you rather enjoy my dick pressed against you.”

No, I don’t. This feeling is something else, something I can’t identify. But it definitely isn’t like. All I know is that I need to escape from this feeling. I’m just about to protest when his left hand pushes me more against his thing. And the pressure of it against me makes me clench my thighs even more. I don’t know what is happening to me. This is so wrong. I know it. But why does it feel so tempting?

This definitely wasn’t worth knowing his secret. I should never have agreed to any deal with him.

“I don’t. And my… it is not aching,” I try to argue.

“Oh? Are you sure?” His left hand starts to glide slowly against my right leg until it reaches the hem of my dress and he slides it under the fabric. ‘’Should we test?’’

An even more potent panic rises as his hand slowly glides up against my leg. My skin burns, and the tingling electricity moves along his hand. I really can’t take this anymore.

‘’Your Highness. Please don’t.’’

‘’Are you afraid I’m right?’’

‘’Please. Stop.’’

My heart beats so loudly that I can feel the thumps in my chest. My breathing is too heavy, and I feel my body nudging against him under his touch. No, no, no. I can’t be doing this. Not here. Not with him. Especially not with him. Remember, Lorelia. He’s a murderer, a madman. You should run away from him, not nudge yourself into him. His fingers closes on the edge of my panties. I feel the tears starting to fill my eyes. Something pulses within me, something between my legs. Some muscles I didn’t even realize existed. I have buried my head against his shoulder, his lips are still caressing my neck and shoulders. I squeeze his shirt with my hands, trying to find some support. Since I feel like my body is going to break soon.

Then his fingers slowly glide on top of my panties. To the small space between me and his thing.

‘’Aren’t you one naughty flower. Your panties are already soaked through.’’

No, they are not. He’s lying. It’s just sweat or something. He presses his fingers against my panties and a foreign noise escapes my lips. Something I have never heard before.

‘’Fuck Lo. You have no idea how much I have fantasized you moaning. You drive me crazy.’’

I’m pretty sure it’s the other way around. Big time. My body moves on its own, pressing itself harder against his hand. It feels so…good. The weird feeling intensifies within me. All strange sensations and heat gathering between my legs. I can’t do this. I really can’t. This is not right. I need to make him stop, since I’m clearly not able to do it myself.

“Please, Felix. Stop.”

I hear a low growl from him. It sounds so animalistic. His hands presses even more tightly against me. Then suddenly—

it starts to rain. In seconds, we are both soaked.

He withdraws his hands and pushes me, making me lift my head from his shoulder. He cups my cheeks with both hands. I open my eyes and look at him. His gaze is still so intense, so intrusive, but his smile is softer, warmer.

“You’re welcome,” he says.

“For what?” I ask, confused.

“Now you can blame the rain for your soaked panties. It serves as a great alibi.”

I just stare at him, once again not knowing what to say or do. And soon the rain stops just as fast as it started.

“I want to kiss you so badly, Lo.”

His thumb slides slowly across my lower lip. I have no idea how it would feel to kiss someone. Would Felix’s lips feel soft or hard?

No. Stop thinking about that. It doesn’t matter how they would feel, since we are never going to kiss.

“I think you’ve done enough, Your Highness. Now let me go.”

He starts to sulk way too dramatically.

“Oooh, Lo. You already called me Felix. You can’t just stick a knife in my chest and go back to calling me Your Highness.”

“I only called you that that one day because you were blackmailing me.”

He raises his brows at me, as if surprised.

“You do realize you just called me Felix a minute ago?”

“No, I didn’t.”

He chuckles. “Yes, you definitely did. And you’re lucky that I didn’t rip your panties the second that word escaped your mouth.”

“Lucky? How can you say I’m lucky? You—” He interrupts me before I can finish my argument.

“Yes, you’re lucky that I’m such a gentleman.”

“A gentleman?” My voice rises. “You—”

And once again he interrupts me. “If I weren’t a gentleman, I would have sinked my fingers deep inside you. Made you shatter, made you moan my name.”

I feel anger rising when he keeps interrupting me like a jerk.

“Shut up, you jerk! You can’t just lift me onto your lap and force yourself on me! I don’t want your fingers anywhere near my…” I fall silent, since I can’t say it out loud.

“Pussy?” he suggests with an annoying smile.

“I told you to shut up!”

He lifts his hands in the air as if surrendering. “Sorry, sorry. Just trying to help since you seem to struggle to find the right words. Please, keep going.”

I glare at him before continuing. “As I was saying, you can’t just touch me like that! Not when I can’t do anything about it! That is not something a gentleman would do.”

He raises his hand like a student in class wanting to answer.

“What?” I snap.

“In my defense, I wasn’t holding you down at that point anymore. You could have just raised your hips and moved.”

“Shut up!” I yell.

He looks like he’s holding back a laugh. Idiot. Then he tries to look apologetic.

“Sorry again. I just thought it was an important detail to point out. I was clearly wrong. So please, keep going.”

“First, you keep coming to see me, even though we were told that we wouldn’t be seeing you during the Selection until the end. And then you forced me to spend time with you even though I clearly said I didn’t want to. Then you torment me with your sick visions every single day. And you also broke your promise not to see me! You’ve been breaking into my room to leave notes and chess pawns? Then you intrude to be my dancing partner, forcing me again to be with you. And pretend that we’ll make just some innocent deal. But you already broke the deal by demanding that I tell you what I think your secret is! Which was not part of the deal! And do I even have to tell you how freaking wrong all of this was? You lifting me into your lap, touching me, making me—”

‘’Wet?’’ He says with a smirk.

“Shut up! You made me angry! I’m so furious right now that I don’t even understand it. So what kind of gentleman does things like that?”

I fall silent, keeping my glare fixed on him while waiting for his defense.

“Well, firstly, that was a very good accusation speech. I enjoyed it very much. And the answer is pretty simple actually. I’m a gentleman who is obsessed.”

“That is not a reason to act like that!”

“Okay, okay. Well, I have two pretty solid points in my defense.”

“Which are?”

“Firstly, you can’t deny my notes have been pretty romantic. They’re adorable, even. I really do think that leaving cute notes like that is definitely something a gentleman would do.”

“How about the part where you sneak into my room without permission to give them?”

“Shhhhh… Don’t point out pointless details.”

“They are not—”

“Yes, they are. And the second point is just the fact that my feelings for you are like a sneeze.”

“A sneeze?” What the hell does he mean by that? Is he thinking that his feelings are slimy or something? That makes no sense.

“Yes, a sneeze. I just can’t hold them in,” he says with a smile.

“What? What kind of defense is that?”

“A pretty damn good one if you ask me.”

“No, it’s not.”

“Yes, it is. Have you ever tried to hold a sneeze in?”

“No?”

“Well, try. It’s pretty damn hard, almost impossible.”

He suddenly pulls a feather out of his pocket. Why the hell does he even have a feather?

“Come on, try it.”

“What?”

He starts moving the feather near my nose. I try to turn my head away, but he follows and starts laughing.

“Come on now. Don’t escape this. Let’s see if you can hold it in.”

The feather tickles me, and I try my best to avoid it. A weird amusement rises from his playful act.

“Stop! I’m not going to sneeze. Take the feather away.”

“No chance! I’m going to make you sneeze.” His voice is full of amusement, and I can’t help but let it affect me too.

He suddenly stops pestering me with the feather, and his eyes widen as he stares at me.

“Fuck, Lo.”

“What?” I have no idea what got into him so suddenly.

“Did the sun just come out, or did you just smile at me?”

Smile? I mean, I thought I smiled all the time. It’s something I’ve learned to do.

“I don’t understand. I’m sure you’ve seen me smiling before.”

“Oh, come on. You can’t call your faint polite smile an actual smile. That’s just something you do out of habit. But that one? Goddammit, you’re pretty when you smile for real.”

For real? I didn’t know there were different kinds of smiles.

“Oh, and I actually have a third point in my defense,” he continues.

“What?” I ask, already a little suspicious.

“Well, if you really hated what I did to you, or hated me. You wouldn’t still be sitting there.”

Sitting where? I focus on my surroundings and realize I’m still sitting on his lap. Crap! The shock runs through me, and I immediately get up, taking maybe a few too many steps away from him. He just chuckles as he watches me panic, then stands up too.

“Don’t worry. I’m not going to eat you. At least not yet.”

I feel so embarrassed that I don’t answer to that.

“I want to go back to my room, Your Highness.”

“Already?”

“Yes. We both got soaked from the sudden rain. I don’t want to get sick.”

“Sorry about that. Let me fix it for you.”

Why is he apologizing? It’s not his fault that it started to rain. Or is it? Did he cause it? Soon, little droplets of water start leaving me, and I’m completely dry in seconds.

“Did you cause the rain?”

“Yes.”

“Why?”

“To stop myself from taking you.” He smirks.

I don’t understand how he can say things like that so casually. I feel so awkward when he talks like that.

“Can I go back to my room now?”

“Why? You are not wet anymore. Or at least not from the rain. Unfortunately I can’t use my magic to remove your arousal from your panties.”

“Stop talking like that! That’s just too… too…” I try to find the right word.

“Honest? Accurate?” he suggests.

“Too vulgar,” I say.

“Or maybe you’re just too innocent. Anyway, since your clothes are dry, there’s no hurry to go back to your room.”

“Yes, there is.”

“Why?”

“How about the fact that I don’t want to spend time with you?”

“Nah, not buying it. You just don’t want to admit to yourself that you like me.”

“I don’t like you, Your Highness.”

He starts walking toward me, and I keep my stance, glaring at him. I won’t let him affect me. Not again.

“I think your pussy disagrees with you.”

“I told you to stop talking like that!”

He chuckles. “Ops, sorry. I meant that I think your thing disagrees with you. Was that better?”

“No! Just stop talking about that subject. I want to leave. Now.”

“Okay, okay. I’ll carry you back to your room.”

“No carrying! Just let me through your barrier, and I’ll walk there alone.”

“Yeah, not gonna happen. A gentleman would definitely escort you back to your room.”

“You’re not a gentleman,” I point out.

He straightens his hand toward me, gesturing for me to take it.

“Sure I am. Give me your hand, let’s go. I’ll let you walk this time.”

“No. There’s no need to hold hands until we reach the barrier,” I argue.

“But my hand feels sooo heavy. Would you just hold it for me?”

“No. That makes no sense.”

He suddenly sits on the ground, acting all dramatic. “I’m sorry. I’m just too exhausted to carry my hand all by myself. Rubbing it against your aching wet—”

“Don’t say it!” I yell. I really can’t handle him talking like that.

“Okay, okay. Well, it got tired. So I’m bound to rest here until I recover. Unless there’s a pretty little flower willing to help me.” He eyes me.

He really is a jerk. I reach my hand toward him but say nothing. Maybe taking his hand is a better option than staying here with him longer. His smile brightens as he takes it and practically jumps to his feet.

“I’m forever indebted to you, pretty flower.”

“Don’t be.”

We start walking toward the exit. It’s getting late, and the sun is setting. The view actually looks pretty amazing. Luckily, Felix stays silent as we walk, probably enjoying the same view. But eventually, the peaceful quietness ends.

“So, any wishes for what you want to do tomorrow?”

I turn my head toward him, and he looks down at me with such a warm smile that my chest tightens.

“I wish to be alone, Your Highness.”

“Lucky for me, I’m not a genie, so I don’t have to make your wish come true. Want to go outside again? Visit the temple?”

The temple? Of course I’d want to visit the temple. But I don’t think it’s worth the sin of sneaking away.

“No.”

“How about the greenhouse, then?”

I fall silent. I really would like to go there. To see Hans and apologize for my disappearance.

“Does your silence mean yes?” He asks.

“I don’t know.”

“Greenhouse it is, then!” He suddenly lifts me up and jumps to my balcony.

“I didn’t say yes to the greenhouse,” I point out.

“I know. But I can sense how badly you want to go. So I just have to force you to go.”

“What do you mean, you can sense it?”

“I told you already. I can feel emotions from your mind.”

“Stop feeling my mind! Knowing that makes me uncomfortable. And put me down already!” I snap at him.

“Relax, Lo.” He lets me down and chuckles.

“How can I relax when I know you’re probing my mind?”

“Well, it’s your fault for looking like a pretty statue all the time. It would be impossible to read you if I didn’t use my magic.”

A statue? Am I really like a statue? I thought I’d learned to smile gently and kindly. Was I wrong?

“Am I really like a statue?” I ask, not sure if I even want to hear the answer.

“Most of the time, yes.”

“Oh…”

I feel kind of sad to hear it. I always wanted to be a wallflower, that’s a good thing. But a statue? Statues are hard, cold, and emotionless. Am I like that? Sure, I try to hide my true emotions, but I thought I smiled warmly and spoke kindly. I thought that people would think of me as a loving and nice person. But I am not? Suddenly, I feel tears rising. Not sure why. I never cry. But somehow, holding my tears back is starting to happen more lately. Feeling awkward, I turn around and reach for the balcony door. I don’t want Felix to see me like this.

“Good night, Your Highness.”

But he grabs me, turns me around, and shoves me against the door. I yelp when my back hits the glass.

“I’m not finished yet,” he says.

“Well, I am. Let me go.”

“I don’t know what made you hide everything about yourself. What made you grow your shell so thick, what made you become a statue. But know one thing. You weren’t a statue today. And I’ll keep digging your true self out. So it doesn’t matter how deep you hide. I will come after you, Lo.”

I stare at him, once again not knowing what to say or think. I don’t know if I should be angry at him or moved by his words. I don’t know anything anymore.

He grins teasingly. “And if you still prefer to be a statue after that, I’d gladly place you in my bedroom. Since I’ve never seen a statue so stunning, I’d look at you for the rest of my life with awe.”

I feel my heart beat faster. He’s simply nuts. He has to be. I keep staring at him, stunned. Soon he leans toward me and I feel his lips dragging against my neck. He kisses my skin gently and it sends shivers down my body. Then I feel his breath against my ear.

“Sleep well, pretty flower. And try to keep your hand going between your thighs when you dream of me. Since when something finally makes you moan with pleasure for real. It is going to be my hand, not yours.”

He withdraws and winks at me before turning around and jumping down.

Why did he say that thing about my hand? He can’t possibly know that I’ve done that. Or could he? Embarrassment floods me for the possibility of it. I notice I’m clenching my thighs together again.

I’m so going to hell for this.