Flip the Coin [BL]

Henry’s POV

After saying these few words, I walked past the pony arena, continuing my search for Kenny.

I looked through more of the small tents, not finding anyone I really recognized, and soon arrived at the thick forest that would lead to the carousel.

I was so sure that he wouldn’t be where his beat-up traumas were that I turned to the dirt path.

This time, I would take the whole dirt path back to the hill with a view over the city.

I walked forward, soon seeing someone I recognized.

Mrs. Anand had a violet see-through veil covering her face mysteriously, with a bunch of cards and knives on a small table in front of her.

Similar to a fortune teller.

Beside her was a girl with intense green eyes who instantly jumped up from her little stool upon seeing me.

"HENRY!" She pounded the invisible wall that stopped her from exiting the booth.

I had sped down the right dirt path last time, so I didn’t see her.

A bad taste was in my mouth, but I stepped to her nevertheless.

"Athena." Not only was she unlikable because in one version of the future she had seduced Kenny, but also because one of the shadows had shown me her pregnant self in a wedding dress, besides her being a self-proclaimed lesbian.

That she had gotten rid of her hair to then speedily flee when we came back from the commander’s world did nothing to quell that bad taste, as she had suffered too lightly.

"Where...what is going on?" She looked at me desperately.

I tilted my head and looked at her now outgrown hair, remembering that she had helped me put on the little play for Kenny to see when he was keeping his distance from me in the deer-monster world.

With her help, I managed to convince him that I was indeed not gay.

Torn between being jealous myself because of the visions Kenny and I had seen, though mine were the shadows’ fabrications, and wanting to see Kenny jealous because of the little play, I eventually told her the same thing I said to the others,

"You are safe; just wait. We will soon be in the capital city." After saying it, I instantly regretted it, although I was still sure that Kenny wouldn’t leave me for anyone.

Still, there had been a future where the two had made out...

"It would probably be better for you to not go there." My face fell, and I watched her look at me confusedly before I turned around and walked away, no matter how much she called for me.

If asked how I was so guarded against her, although her sexuality was as it was... nobody knew better than me how fast preferences of this nature could change.

Though... there was always the possibility that the future Kenny had staged a play for me to see, just as I had done for him... and who would be better for that mission than her, who had no interest in the opposite sex?

A smile crept on my lips at the thought, and I continued my search speedily.

I walked past the state attorney’s corpse that entered and exited the water continuously after looking through the wagons with quite a few upgraded people; most of them had been under four hundred.

A booth with the Asian guys from the crystalline world, though the two I immediately recognized didn’t seem to have leveled up.

Then mother and daughter, who had indeed upgraded, also from the crystalline world, were huddled together in another wagon, snacks and juice surrounding them.

I also saw a few of the survivors who could neither write nor talk and came from another country they had been later sent back to—most of them were either controlled, dazed, or confused.

I even found the girl who usually wore thick dark makeup, Dr. Lawrence’s assistant, who constantly wanted to draw blood from Kenny in the center.

When I glanced at her, I remembered that I apparently had forgotten her during my rescue mission of Dr. Lawrence and the others.

It seemed she was still alive.

I turned away and continued my search, soon arriving at the big circus tent, without any results.

I bit into my arm to stop my fear and helplessness from taking over again.

"WHAT IN THE WORLD ARE YOU DOING???" Mrs. Howard yelled when I passed her wagon, but I didn’t let go of my arm and just shrugged as I walked past her.

Continuing to search, I constantly fed myself positivity as if it were a mantra itself:

He is here:

You will find him.

He could be anywhere; you could have just missed him.

And most of all: I hadn’t even finished looking through the left dirt path.

Passing the gay man and gazing at the wagon he was in, I nearly had a heart attack when I spotted red eyes peeking out from under it.

But when I crouched down and crawled under the wagon, I recognized Kenny’s counterpart—Kenny3—who was apparently high while locked away underground.

He was just staring at his moving hand while half lying, half sitting on the earthly ground.

I rolled out from under the wagon and saw Kenny’s sweater on me stained with earth.

I patted the dirt away and continued, telling myself that I couldn’t break just because I had again received hope only to lose it in a heartbeat.

Faces, smudged faces, and they all moved by themselves; it was impossible to find someone in this area by just searching headlessly—even if it wasn’t as big after the maestro’s disappearance.

But even while doing it with a plan in mind, it felt impossible.

When I arrived at the hill, I felt the wind pulling at me and looked down at the city; I again bit into my arm.

Where are you, my love?

||I stand on a grassy field,... on a hill.||

I let go, took a deep breath, and closed my eyes again.

||The wind rips against my clothes, and I look at whatever city this is at the foot of said hill.||

Letting the wind wipe away all my thoughts, I felt the warmth of the sun on my skin.

||It is a sunny day, yet the wind is so strong that it gives the impression one could fly if they just made a jump.||

I opened my eyes and turned around to let my gaze wander.

||I look around,... and,... see the big circus tent not far away.||

Taking slow, deep breaths, I wait for something—for a sign.

||"Here you are! Don’t run around; do you want to get kidnapped?!" My hand is grasped, and I look up at my mom.||

But I ended up disappointed, met with ’everything’ and ’nothing’ that could be interpreted as the sign I thirsted for.

||She drags me back to the circus tent. "I know you can’t stand still for even one second, but it’s really not respectful to sneak out during a show!"||

I walked back to the big circus tent, contemplating whether I should search the whole circus again or reset my position before doing so.

||I argue back. "YOU SNEAKED OUT TOO!!"||

My feet bring me over the grassy field to the back of the wagons, past the small tents.

||"Only to come and find you!" She hisses, trying not to break into a chuckle at my retort.||

In front of the big circus tent, I look at the spot where the small clown had been but was now gone forever.

||She lifts me up to carry me back inside, and I grab onto a strand of her hair, holding it tightly in my small hand.||

I enter the circus tent and walk past the onlookers, my eyes falling on the circus ring, with Ren sitting in the middle.

||"Try me," she whispers dead serious, and I let go with a sulk.||

He was awake and waved at me with a smile, and then it finally...dawned upon me.

||We enter the circus tent, the big entrance with the ground covered by trampled hay, and when I turn around in her arms, I see the thin guy and skinny girl on the stage, swinging on rings hanging from the ceiling.||

Not stopping to think of how blind I had been the whole time, I sprinted forward, jumping over the barricade to reach Ren and falling to my knees in front of him, my hands pressed against the glass cube he was in.

||My mother looks around the big dark tent, without...||

"Can you use that power? Can you speak through Kenny?"

Ren giggled and nodded, his eyes curving as if he had been waiting the whole time for me to ask.

||...stepping out from the big, hay-covered path.||

My breathing accelerated, and my heart pounded in my chest as I saw him opening his mouth.

||"Where were the damn seats again?" She whispers, and I take a deep breath to loudly remind her that she just said a swear word.||

I jumped to my feet, straining my ears, and closed my eyes to listen.

||Yet, she is faster and covers my mouth, stunning me into silence and letting me forget what I just wanted to do.||

Nothing but the audience’s laughter, occasional clapping, and circus music.

||"We’ll just stay here until there is a break...there should soon be a break..." She sighs.||

I jumped over the barricade and walked along the audience, occasionally closing my eyes and standing still, occasionally looking back at Ren and seeing him continuously move his lips.

Not in the audience.

After searching thoroughly, I went back to the circus ring and ran out of the circus tent, along the hay path, past the onlookers.

||"Anyway." She suddenly whispers directly into my ear.||

I had just run out of the circus tent when I stopped sharply.

My heart skipped a few beats, and I turned back with a tremble, sure that I had heard something.

I turned around, walking slowly down the hay path, looking at the onlookers on each side, when I saw a woman.

||"Sneak away again and see what I’ll do with you."||

Her face was smudged, her head bent; she was turned a bit to the side as if she were protecting something.

When I stepped in front of her, I could hear it again, a small, silent, and weak voice that came from her arms, "Here!"

"Kenny..." I choked up, seeing the small bundle with his head burrowed in her neck.

"Kenny..." I stroked with two bent fingers over the small head with fine hair that was a bit blonder than I knew it from him.

"Kenny..." I placed my trembling hand on the small back, feeling a strong, fast heartbeat within the little figure.

Tiny...

I took a deep breath, trying to not cry out loud.

"Tiny love..."