Flip the Coin [BL]

Henry’s POV

My fingertips tingled at the thought.

He is here.

I closed my eyes and let the wind sweep away all my fear to concentrate on what was important.

He is here.

Opening my eyes, I felt much clearer.

I turned around with my heart pounding in my chest.

The audience surrounded the circus ring.

No, he could be anywhere among the visitors.

I couldn’t run around like a headless chicken anymore.

I squinted my eyes and watched the small circus tents on the right, then the dirt path on my left, then the big tent not far away, to the space behind it.

"I will search every centimeter of this place; let’s see if you can hide, little love."

I couldn’t wait to see Kenny, but I also couldn’t wait to see his childhood self again.

The fact that I had to leave him behind, crying and screaming into a pillow on the worst evening in his life, had left my heart crushed, a piece of it still stuck in my throat ever since I had seen that scene.

So if I could find his little self, then I could give him all the long-overdue hugs he had missed during his childhood.

And if he didn’t want to leave this space yet, I could put him on my shoulders, and we could roam the circus together until he grew bored.

I could win him a cool plushie.

I could also get him a stabbed Henrietta souvenir.

And then when he’d start to get bored, we could leave together, and he could grow back without any worries—back into the gorgeous existence I so desperately loved and needed.

Feeling the hope resurface violently, I trembled in anticipation.

My feet moved over the grass much lighter than before, with a clear plan in mind.

I started with the tents closest to me, would make my way back to the big circus tent, search the tent, and if he wasn’t there, I would search the other side of the circus until I reached the forest before the carousel. Then I would go back on the dirt path until I arrived exactly where I currently was, on top of the hill with a view of the city beneath.

The first few small tents were empty or filled with people I didn’t recognize. Then I walked into the one with my parents.

Not seeing any already born child with them, I walked out and went into the next tent.

Inside, a figure with blond hair was crouched in a corner; she hugged herself.

"Chelsea."

Chelsea flinched and looked up, relief washing over her face.

"Henry! Where is this? Why? The crash??"

She also wore makeup and a costume similar to the twins.

"You are safe here. Just wait." My voice cooled automatically when talking to her, as Mrs. Howard’s intention to push her at Kenny while they had their talk about me was still very clear in my mind.

I stepped back, and she jumped up, trying to follow me, but she couldn’t.

Ha!

I was the only one able to clearly move around.

Maybe because I was the strongest, or maybe... because I was just the most loved...

I chuckled, looking through the next tents.

I found Jeyjey as well, but she seemed to be in a daze, whether because the DMT wasn’t counted as a real upgrade or it was just the state she currently was in.

And I found Dr. Lawrence, the doctor, and Emma.

Neither of them seemed to be upgraded or awake; Dr. Lawrence was resting on a bunch of hay, the doctor was taking her pulse every few minutes on repeat, and Emma stood in front of a big cauldron, continuously stirring the contents inside with a big wooden spoon.

It was unclear if she was stirring medicine or food, but whatever it was, it smelled good.

She had really left an impression on Kenny with her good cooking...

I will have to get a few cooking books the first thing we are back.

I had looked through every tent on the left side of the big circus tent, so now I entered said big tent again.

Walking inside along the hay path, past the onlookers, I turned left and started to go through the audience again.

Even blatantly interrupting the view of the first three rows that were the lowest while standing in front of them, the audience members didn’t notice or complain.

I stood still and scrutinized each person from the lowest to the highest row.

When Kenny wasn’t among them, I took a step to the side and let my gaze wander to the next row, from low to high.

Here and on the dirt paths were the most smudged faces.

If this was Kenny’s memory... then these people had either died in real life and couldn’t be conjured up, or...

If he had been a child back then, other circus visitors or audience members probably wouldn’t have really left a profound impression on him.

So their faces had become blurred, smudged; they were just remains of an old memory.

Not real people that had been sucked into this space, but just filling the gaps between the space and an unclear past.

I heard Danny trying to wake Jordan, then his parents in the audience, then calling for me, but I ignored him.

I looked at everyone; I even found a child that seemed awake but intimidated, albeit having a bunch of snacks on his lap, but it was one of the four hundred who had been possessed by a shadow.

When I had made sure that Kenny wasn’t under the audience, I turned back to the circus ring.

Ren was still, or rather ’again,’ comfortably asleep; the snacks on his glass table had been replenished, and there even was the game console ready for him when he woke up.

Henrietta was on the turning wheel with vomit all over herself, and she seemed to have lost consciousness. Omar, however, continued to throw knives at her.

Danny had managed to pull Jordan from the unicycle, but he never stopped performing card tricks even while half lying on the sandy hay ground and half lying on Danny himself.

I looked up at Kitty and the whipholder behind him that sported a smudged face—seeing the body form of the man up there, he wouldn’t be Kenny either, even if he hid under one of the smudged faces.

He was not here. He may have been before, and maybe he would be again after another position reset—but he was not here right now.

I turned around, walked the big hay path out of the circus, and then turned sharply right.

For the first time, I walked behind the wagons that faced the right dirt path and found, besides a few more small tents, a moderately big round fenced spot with a few ponies.

A colossally big black man, covered in muscles, looked dazedly at the pony before him that seemed to never stop defecating, while another equally big and muscular white man was throwing himself against the wooden fence but was stopped by an invisible wall.

When I stepped out of the next small tent without finding Kenny and came closer to them, they both looked up and, seeing me, recognized me instantly.

The big blond white man had tattoos all over his face, especially on his forehead, covering the scar I had seen on him back then.

"You! You are Henry, aren’t you?" He speedily came to the fence where I stood.

The black man followed him, and I needed a moment to match his figure to the memory of him, as there was not an ounce of fat left on him.

He was fiddling with the pony’s leash in his hands and looked hesitantly behind me, as if searching for someone.

"Mhm." I nodded slightly.

"I am Teddy; this is Chacha. We were in prison together... Do you know where we are, friend?" Teddy took on a more relaxed position, covering the big Chacha a bit as if shielding him.

I tilted my head, looking at the few visitors around the fence who watched the ponies inside with excitement or smudges on their faces.

"A parallel world," I told them the same thing the gay man had brought up to me first and what I then had confirmed with a nod, because it would help nobody to know that this instance had been caused by Kenny.

"It really is, is it? Can you help us out of here, friend? The fence might not seem that sturdy, but we can’t manage on our own..." He chuckled.

"Where have you been all this time?" I ignored his question and instead asked what I wanted to know: Why are all the prisoners Kenny had an impression from before upgraded now?

My eyes never stopped scanning the people, only flickering shortly to the two in front of me as my impatience grew.

Teddy paused for a moment but in the end shrugged.

"A few of us went through testing and were then transferred into something like a military camp to train soon after you left."

"Continue," I hummed.

He smiled helplessly.

"Everyone that showed capabilities, talents, and strengths had been pardoned and added to a division under the military."

"You were dispatched to kill rats?" I asked him, and he agreed.

With the law of attraction, they should have soon found their counterpart rat.

Then they hadn’t been upgraded for long... their eyes also showed no intense coloring.

"Wait here; stop fighting the invisible wall. This instance will end on its own." My feet moved away to walk past them and continue my search, but Chacha stopped me.

"WHERE...!" He burst out before quieting down.

"...Where are you located? Outside..." He asked me when I turned back to him.

I squinted my eyes, knowing that he didn’t ask because of me.

Not wanting to add numbers to the swarm buzzing around Kenny, I initially intended on giving them a wrong answer.

But then I remembered... Kenny had already given me everything he could possibly give.

The sacrifice in bed, the countless confessions—even a pool of them—the many hugs, kisses, and sweetest of words—all the assurance I could have ever asked for.

There was nobody able to threaten my position in his heart.

There was nobody that could come between us.

He loved me more than anybody else and would not stop continuing to do so given his softhearted and loyal character.

Besides, the chief needed a team that he could neglect to continuously do it with his puppy.

"We will go to the capital city."