Chapter 109: Delicious Like Omelettes
It heard them.
In the midst of the darkness, cradled between three, glaring, upside-down crosses adorned with pure white eyes, it watched.
It watched the absolute darkness of the Sunless Skies creeping into its room.
It watched the upside-down crosses hold back the darkness.
It watched as they watched it.
And as it watched, it heard.
It heard the true horrors of the Crucible of Light.
Nevertheless, shutting its eyes, it returned to sleep after a flick of Curses to its brain; the creature closed itself off from the horrible reality.
From a reality it did not want to endure.
-----
Today is that day of the month.
A day I once dreaded, but now a day that I barely even remember exists until the unfortunate, inevitable bleeding occurs.
It's my period.
My body has been growing slowly but surely, and, as a consequence of this growth, came the natural phenomena that every girl must endure.
A girl; me.
Sighing, I gazed at the patch of blood staining the white sheets below me. The feeling of the blood oozing from my genitals wasn't entirely comfortable, but it also wasn't anything I couldn't deal with.
I've long known of the many complaints women have about period cramps, the hormones, emotional changes, etc.
But that's not a problem that affects me.
It can't affect me.
The pain I endure daily is countless times worse, and my emotions are already in utter mayhem around the clock. I've only learnt to deal with this mess of frantic, panicked emotions thanks to it happening to me all day, every day.
If anything, the worst part was the hassle of dealing with the blood.
Cursed Flames are the perfect tool for it, but Cursed Flames...
They burn me from the inside out with each use.
It's essentially just me combusting the Curses inside of me to produce flames; it's not complex, but that's the core issue.
I'm combusting.
I'm burning when I use them.
It's fine.
I can deal with it.
With that said, I set myself ablaze with Curses and guided them to the patches of blood staining me and the sheets. Obliterating the issue within seconds, the blood stuck to my genitals, thighs, clothes, and sheets disappeared in a controlled manner.
Then, I retracted my Curses with a sigh.
I'm becoming a woman.
Not the flat, tiny girl with long hair that was indistinguishable from little boys, but a woman. A woman with breasts, wider hips, and the ability to give birth.
I've never come to terms with it.
Not because I'm against being a woman, nor do I care-
Icare...
NotbecauseIlostmymaleself...
Butbecausethisvilecreature'sfemaleselfiswhy...
It'swhyIcan'ttouchEsme...
It'swhy...
Ithastobewhy...
Otherwise, if it's not, if it's not-
Then why have I been stopping myself all these years?
Why have I not allowed myself to go further in my relationship with Esme?
Why?
What's stopping me?
I don't understand.
I don't get it.
I love her.
I adore her.
She's everything to me.
I want to kiss her.
I want to touch her.
I want to viola-
Stop.
She stroked my head.
No more.
She embraced my broken body.
At least...
She comforted me.
...not yet.
Blinking, I took a deep breath, cleared my mind, and-
"Haa... Where is that idiot Hilda when you need her?"
-I paid attention to my rumbling belly instead.
I'm starving.
-----
After my final meal of the day, I dismissed Hilda.
Staring into the ceiling of my bedroom, or, specifically, the canopy roof of my bed, I summoned it; the Book of Heresy.
The pages fluttered open and landed on a fresh, new page.
Commanding the Quill onto the paper-
[Body - Move - 20 Minutes]
-a burst of Curses rushed from my body into the book, tearing me apart with the agony of a thousand swords slicing into my veins. Then, with the Book consolidating my Curses, it threw them back at me with the strength to move my body this time around.
Slamming the Book of Heresy shut, I dismissed it with a wave of my hand.
No more pain, for now.
Putting the irrelevant thought aside, I sat up and stretched my tight limbs. A couple of satisfying popping sounds echoed from my joints.
Gazing around my neat, untouched room; it's been a while since I've seen this room as a mess.
With that in mind, I stood up from my bed and walked to the bathroom.
Entering the lockless bathroom, I made my way to the mirror. There, I stared at my reflection; at my developing body.
Standing at a height of 130cm, or 4ft 2 and a half, my breasts have started to properly bud. They were large enough to cup in my hands. The rest of my body was gradually developing in the right direction, with the curves popping up in the correct places.
It was slow, though.
Much slower than the average girl.
My skin is still pale, not necessarily unhealthy, though.
I look like a porcelain doll.
My Descent, while turning this creature into an even more vile existence, has been perfecting me in an eerie direction. Instead of seeming Human, I seem more like an object. An eerie, horror-esque object.
Pretty, yes, but abnormally pretty.
It only took one look at my face to notice that.
I'm perfect.
My nose is perfect.
The ratio of flesh to bone is perfect.
I look like a sculpture. At this rate, not a hint of me will look natural.
Staring at that horribly beautiful reflection for a moment, I ended up chuckling after remembering a specific set of memories; I used to break the mirror in despair back then. But that was so childish of me; I should have been perfecting myself to make up for it instead of trying to disfigure myself.
Setting all of that aside, I used my remaining time to attend to my rare bodily needs, washed up, and returned to resting on my bed.
I prepared myself for the repercussions of my Manifestation.
...Now that I think about it, they've gotten worse after I overdrafted the Book of Heresy 3 years ago.
And there's also something else, something that changed; something that was removed from me.
A soul that has been cut; my soul is no longer complete.
As for what it is that is missing-
It's not worth mentioning.
It's a mild inconvenience whereby a section of enjoyment from my already dull life was removed, but I'm used to a dreary lifestyle, so it's fine.
It's fine.
Completely fine.
-----
Thus far, I've doused myself in quite a few tablets, pills; I've even given a couple of lines of sparkling, silver white a try. It burnt my nose a bit, but the hit was immediate, albeit not as long-drawn as the tablets and pills.
Each had its benefits and negatives.
Alas, what I've yet to have the opportunity to properly try is-
Smoking.
It's the most ideal form of drug, but I've unfortunately only had the opportunity to try inhaler-esque cigarettes, and not the real thing.
If only I could try it...
I've heard that it's slow, has a solid impact, and lasts for a long time. Not to mention, the sensation of smoking itself is apparently addictive-
...screw this useless body, if not for the restriction on how long I can move, I'd be smoking day in, day out.
The dim light of dusk poured over me with a careful touch to its warmth; now that I think about it, what was I like in the past?
The old me?
What was he like?
What was his opinion of drugs?
His opinion of smoking?
His opinion of this pain?
His opinion of my life for my sister?
Pushing my vision towards the distant aurora, I thought about it, pondered over it, and in the end:
...I'm curious.
In the end, I could hardly imagine it.
It was incomprehensible.
The me of old versus the me of now-
Now that I think about it-
HowdidIendupasAlora?
Whathappened?
WhowasI?
"Little dummy?" The door to the room groaned open.
I immediately sucked in a breath of cold, calming air. The mess of thoughts floated away, leaving me empty and relaxed again.
"Feeling okay?" Carefully shutting the door, Hilda walked to my side and planted her warm hands over mine, "You've got a lot of sweat on you."
She daintily wiped the sweat off with her sleeve and pinched my cheek afterwards. Pulling and stretching my skin, "Come on, you can tell me, were you fine? Or no?"
Staring at her, I sighed.
"As good as can be, I guess."
"And how good is that?" Hilda pushed herself onto the bed, her much larger and fuller body covering my vision from above; the strands of ruby-red hair sparkled in my vision as she came to lie beside me.
Tucking an arm under my waist, she snuggled close. The smell of fruit wafting from her skin tickled my nose, making me hyper-aware of my own empty scent.
Like bouncy pudding, her flesh pressed through her maid outfit and onto my fairly small body; it feels so good~
"Come on~ How good is that~?" Poking my waist with the hand tucked beneath me, she tucked her waterfall of crimson hair behind her ear, then tapped my cheek with her left index finger-
Squish. Squish.
"...Ugh, it's like eating your omelettes."
"Oh? The ones from when I first learnt how to cook or the new ones?" She teased with her succulent lips puckering outwards at me. Hilda's warm breath tickled my ear, sending a trickle of tingling heat down my spine.
"The new ones..."
"Hmm~" Thrusting her head onto mine, she whispered, "That's good."