Beauty in the beast world

"Xavier killed me?" Blake asked just to make sure. Her words were making sense and not making sense at the same time. "Why would he kill me? What did he have anything to do with us?"

Lyra had to take a moment to answer that. She never wanted to reveal this, but it was unfair to hide things from him. Xavier killed him, and the reason for that was herself. Telling it out loud was harder than she had thought: "Xenon and I loved each other before I decided to marry you and become your mate." Although she didn’t know if he truly loved her with all those lies and the way he hurt her. No one does that to someone they love.

Blake genuinely didn’t know what to say. He couldn’t help but ask, "Do you still...?"

"God no!" Lyra cut him off before he could finish what he was about to say. It was repulsive even to think about her past with Xenon. "He is a monster, Blake."

Her mate waited for her to continue. "Xenon... I mean, Xavier was already married with a kid when he started a relationship with me. He lied and kept the truth hidden. Do you know how disgusting I found myself when I learned of their existence? It makes me nauseous even now...."

Blake pressed her hand comfortingly when he saw the pain on her face. She looked like she hated herself for things that were clearly out of her control. "I touched him..." Lyra closed her eyes tightly, trying to compose herself. "I slept with him while he already had a wife..."

"You didn’t know that," Blake said as he pulled her towards him.

However, his mate was inconsolable. "I should have known, Blake." Lyra was one step away from writhing in disgust. "He had a child...a little girl. I broke their family. The person I trusted with all my life turned me into a pathetic and vile homewrecker."

Even during her time on earth, Lyra’s biggest fear in the dating field was unknowingly getting involved with a married or committed man. She knew that the one married was at fault, but Lyra despised being the other woman, even if it was accidental. And worse, if kids are involved in this mess.

But how ironic it was that she had been the other woman in her past life. Xenon had so many chances not push her into such a sin. He could have told her the truth, could have separated from his wife if he didn’t like her, but no! That hateful man had to go out and pursue a relationship with a woman who had no clue about all his wrongdoings.

"And when I left him when I learned the truth, he killed you," Lyra concluded, "Maybe as a means of getting back at me for leaving his lying ass. He is not a good person, Blake."

"That sounds true. He doesn’t seem like a good person," Blake agreed. He kissed her on the forehead and hugged her. "But at least he didn’t hurt you." That made her flinch, and Blake noticed it.

He pulled away from her and gazed at her face. The guilty look on her face and the way she avoided looking at him made his blood run cold. "Did he hurt you too?" Blake asked as he gripped her shoulder, "Lilly, what happened after my death?"

Lyra opened and closed her mouth, unable to make an audible sound. Her throat felt clogged and burning. She could never answer that question. Never...

"Lilly?"

"Don’t ask me about it." Her words were too quick, too urgent. Like she wanted to vehemently change the topic. It made Blake’s intuition go haywire. According to his mate, she was married to him and was pregnant with his child when Xavier killed him. "Did you go and confront him about my death?"

Lyra sighed, but Blake persisted, "Please say you didn’t. Did he hurt you...?"

"He didn’t hurt me." She let out the final truth, "I killed myself."

Deathlike silence occupied them as she said those words. She got up from the bed, away from him, as she felt suffocated. She did it. She spouted things that should have been kept hidden. But Lyra didn’t want to hide things from Blake. The burden of carrying the truth all alone would make her sick.

"I had just given birth when I heard of your passing." Lyra leaned against the cold stone wall for support as she gazed at her mate. He looked like he was hearing the worst of his nightmares said out loud, "I lost it. I went to confront him, and seeing him act as though he were innocent, I lost it. I killed myself."

"How?"

"What?" Lyra asked, confused.

Blake’s eyes turned into slits as bloodlust started to occupy him. Anger like never before filled inside him. His mate had experienced death. His Lily died because of him. The pain inside his heart couldn’t be described with words. His voice was hoarse as he asked, "Was it painful? Your last moments?"

"Oh, Blake." Lyra’s heart softened hearing that. She rushed towards him to hug him. His head pressed against her stomach while her hands encircled him.

"You died because of me"

"No" Lyra shook her head, "It was my own decision to do that, I couldn’t go on living without you"

"You had to leave our baby"

"It was my selfishness that prompted me" Lyra rubbed his back, "I only cared about my pain and not about our baby, it was my mistake"

"Our baby also had a tragic life. She was killed too. I failed her as a father and failed you as a mate"

"That’s not true" Lyra choked on her own tears, "You were the best thing that happened to us. I love you so much, Blake, and I’m sure our daughter did too" Those last words were more of a consolation to herself. She just wished her daughter had not resented her father. Lyra was alright with getting blamed but her husband had been as innocent as their daughter.

"She was all alone" That was what struck him the most. Losing both parents in a tragedy when she was just a baby would have left her isolated. Thinking about that tiny life going through so many hardships made Blake resent himself.

"Vanadey had a happy life with the person who loved her." That was all she could say. Although her life was short, she lived it with the man she loved, "I’m sure she is in a good place now"