The Main Character is the Villain

"W-wait! AA!"

"Hold on!"

Calm down. They say you can survive even in a tiger's den if you just keep your wits about you. If AA loses her mind right now, I'm definitely dead. That's because that elf princess with the character failure would sooner pull a Me Too than take my side. As Erina and I called out to AA at the same time, AA tilted her head.

"What is it?"

Karin asked, looking at me with a puzzled expression. I was feigning composure. Erina was already breaking out in a cold sweat. I'd thought this for a while, but that bitch was a terrible liar. Before Erina ran her mouth, I had to somehow resolve this situation smoothly.

"Now, Sir Hero. Listen. The matter of a woman's chastity is a bit relative, isn't it? Right?"

"What are you talking about, Priest? Erina told me she's never even met another man besides me."

"So, what I'm saying is, by the golem's standards, Princess Erina might not be considered chaste."

"What?"

AA's expression was overtly displeased. Because anyone would be fucking pissed if you told them, 'Your girlfriend might not be a virgin.' I said cautiously. "I mean, the golem could be extremely strict. It might think she's lost her chastity just from holding hands or hugging, right?"

"That's..."

"Chastity is judged based on virginity."

Vwooom... the majestic sound echoed as the golem spoke. Is that bastard an AI? AA looked at the golem, then back at me, and spoke. She was smiling.

"It seems so. Erina. Hurry up. It's... a bit of an embarrassing topic to bring up in front of the Priest, but Erina and I haven't... done 'that' yet."

"W-wait a minute, Sir Hero. You never know."

"Priest, what do you mean, you never know..."

"Th-that's right! AA! What if I'm not a virgin!"

What is that crazy bitch saying? While AA and I were talking, Erina interjected, dripping with cold sweat. Both AA and I stared at her, flabbergasted. AA's face, in particular, was frozen in shock, like someone who had just heard news of his girlfriend's premarital pregnancy.

"Erina?"

AA's voice was trembling. Erina wiped the sweat from her forehead and rambled nonsensically.

"S-so! It's not that I'm not a virgin... but... I might not be! I mean... it could just... disappear without me knowing... and... the standards can be different! So... uh... anyway, it's dangerous if I do it! That's why!"

I had to end this situation before that bitch screamed, "I'm the Elf Kingdom's representative slut!" like last time. They say life is a tragedy up close and a comedy from afar. If I weren't involved in this situation, I'd be watching with popcorn, but if things go wrong here, AA might just go on a stabbing spree. I couldn't become a dead priest over a slut joke.

"Sir Hero. Let's talk over there for a moment."

I took the hero to a corner. I gave Erina an eye signal to shut her mouth, and she nodded with an anxious face. Karin, not knowing what was going on, just stood there awkwardly.

"Now, Sir Hero. Women have many secrets. Right?"

"Yes. I think so too."

"Everyone wants to look good for the person they like the most. Don't they?"

"Yes. That's right."

"And Princess Erina likes you the most, Sir Hero. That's a fact anyone can see, right?"

"Yes."

"So, Sir Hero. Think rationally. Calm down. The fact that the princess is adamantly refusing to step forward for the chastity test... doesn't that mean she had a past with another man?"

"What?"

AA frowned seriously. Her pretty face was still charming even when crumpled. I said.

"I mean, this is all just a 'what if'. Everyone has secrets they want to hide. Elves live longer than you, Sir Hero. It's only natural for Princess Erina to have met someone during all that time."

"But..."

"Are you thinking of abandoning Princess Erina just because she might not be chaste, Sir Hero? Princess Erina truly likes you. The past doesn't matter. Did you never like someone in the past, AA?"

"That's..."

"Sir Hero. Please show some consideration and let the princess, who only has eyes for you now, hide her past."

"Priest, do you know Erina's past?"

"I don't know either. But I think relationships become more beautiful when you hide what needs to be hidden from each other."

"I see. I guess I was being short-sighted."

I patted AA's shoulder. Erina still looked anxious but put on a calm facade. I could feel her legs trembling. I clapped my hands to get everyone's attention and then spoke.

"Alright, then our Sir Hero has decided to step up as the chaste one."

"What?"

AA looked at me, bewildered. I replied.

"A female who has never had sexual intercourse. That's you, isn't it? I can't, since I'm married, and frankly, it would be a discourtesy to pry into or expose Sir Knight's... status in a place like this."

"I understand."

AA nodded as if she understood. And took a step forward in front of the golem. Erina was already trembling with anxiety, tapping my forearm.

"What do I do... what do I do... if only I was a virgin..."

"Princess. Please shut up."

A blue light came into the golem's eyes again. He began to scan AA's body all over, using the light from his eyes like a laser. After scanning AA's body for a while, the golem opened its mouth.

"You are qualified to open the door."

After saying that, the golem moved its massive body to the side and closed its eyes again. Where the golem had been, there was a large door. Without a word, we all approached AA.

"Sir Hero! Are you okay?"

"Ah, yes. Yes. I'm fine."

Ignoring our inquiries for the moment, AA cautiously opened the door. The door opened easily without any resistance. As the door opened, stone debris stuck to it fell away. Below the door was another set of stairs. Torches were burning on both sides of the stairs.

"Who set these up?"

Judging by the state of the skeletons, it seemed no one had been here for a long time, yet the torches were burning brightly as if they had just been lit. We looked at each other and decided to go down another floor.

The way down the stairs. It was easy to chat while descending the long, long staircase. I could hear AA and Erina talking behind Karin and me.

"I'm sorry, Erina."

"W-what are you talking about, AA! What do you have to be sorry for! If anything, it's me who couldn't step up to that dangerous trap..."

"I was misunderstanding you on my own."

"W-what?"

"I won't ask about your past. Whatever... whatever your past was, you're my other half now."

"Ah... ahhh..."

Erina was on the verge of tears. She's not going to make a confession and say she had sex with me, is she? My heart started pounding for no reason. No matter how much AA said she forgave her past, that was about the past before she met her. If she said she got pregnant by another man while she was away on a trip, even a saint like AA would draw her sword immediately. I felt my legs start to tremble slightly.

"Priest. Your complexion doesn't look good."

Karin said. I said, startled.

"Ah, did I look that way? No. It's probably just the light making me look overly pale."

"If you're perhaps feeling unwell, I've brought some emergency medicine."

There was nothing funnier than offering medicine to a priest, but this kind of steadfastness was also part of Karin's in-game charm. A steadfastness that made her willingly step into the vanguard to fight in their place, even with the world's strongest hero as a party member. The gruff knight possessed both large breasts and that kind of charm.

"I'm sure the medicine is in here... oh."

Karin, who was looking for the medicine, dropped a few items from her pocket. A small object wrapped in cloth fell to the floor, revealing itself.

"A potato peeler?"

It was a potato peeler. The kind you use in the kitchen to peel potatoes. Karin shook her head and picked up the potato peeler.

"It is not a potato peeler."

"Not a potato peeler?"

"It is a tool used to torture criminals. You peel off their skin one layer at a time with this."

"Fuck..."

Crazy bitch. Crazy bitch. I barely stopped myself from swearing. It was because I remembered the bright red lump of meat in the basement. No, but why did she bring something like that here?

"Why did you bring that? It's just a dungeon exploration."

"There might be grave robbers, you know."

"...You're going to skin a grave robber here? Isn't grave robbing just imprisonment if you're caught in the act?"

"I have a duty to find out if they committed any other criminal acts besides grave robbing."

I decided not to talk to Karin anymore. She rummaged through her leather pouch and said with a disappointed look.

"I'm sorry. I must have left the medicine behind."

She brought the potato peeler but left the medicine. I shook my head. If I commit a crime in front of this bitch, I won't be a blonde elf anymore;

I'll become a red. As we talked like that, we soon arrived at the second basement floor. The same golem was standing there.

The only differences were that the number of corpses piled up next to it was slightly smaller, and the golem itself was a little cleaner. The golem's specs were the same as before. Virginity again? As we took a step forward, the golem's eyes lit up and it spoke.

"The one with a pure and good heart. Step forward and open the door."

AA and Karin looked at me at the same time. Erina raised the corners of her mouth and grinned. Well, I could excuse my way out of this one easily enough. I said, giving AA a slight push.

"I think Sir Hero is suitable for this."

"What? But I..."

"With a righteous heart, you have always looked at only one woman, and with a heart more just than anyone's, you have led the charge in the Demon King extermination. I think you should go, Sir Hero."

And I pushed her forward without giving her a chance to object.

A blue light came into the golem's eyes again. He began to scan AA's body all over, using the light from his eyes like a laser. After scanning AA's body for a while, the robot opened its mouth.

"You are qualified to open the door."

After saying that, the golem moved its massive body to the side and closed its eyes again. Where the golem had been, there was a large door. A door that looked much cleaner and sturdier than the one before.

Erina looked at me and frowned. I shrugged my shoulders. By the way, it would have been fine if just AA and I had come.