Chapter 262: Who’s Watching
In the past, Emily had dated before. Though it had been more short flings than anything else. To her, it had counted as something that could be called a relationship, because that was all that she was certain that she would ever have.
But now that Emily was in a relationship with Derek. One built on trust, without any lies or active secret keeping going on, Emily was realizing something. She had never really been in a relationship with a man.
During those few relationships that she had been in. The two emotions that had been at the forefront of her mind when she had seen her ex-partners, had not been love and happiness. In fact, those had been the farthest things from her mind each and every single time that she had been in their presence.
Whenever Emily had been with those other men. The best way to describe the feelings that were always rolling around within her was fear and paranoia. Back then, there had been no time to just relax, and get to know a guy. To bask in the wonderfulness of having somebody to call her boyfriend.
She had not even been able to take compliments. Always worried that there was some kind of hidden message beneath the sweet words. When given a simple compliment such as you look nice.
Emily’s mind would immediately go into overdrive, and within a few minutes of sitting down next to her date. She would excuse herself to go to the ladies room. Only to spend several long minutes staring at her reflection in the mirror. Checking, and double checking to make sure that the dark circles under her eyes, were not too noticeable. Worried that the nice words were nothing more than a subtle dig. It was not just the compliments either. Even words of worry that showed that the man had cared enough to notice when something was off with her, had often sent Emily into a panic.
"You look tired," She remembered one boyfriend saying.
Emily had broken up with him then and there. Worried that his eyes were too sharp for her. That he would notice that her looking tired was not just something that happened occasionally. It was just the way things were with her. Come to think of it, while Emily had never really thought much about those guys after the breakups. She was pretty certain that if some of her exes were to meet up and talk about her. She would go down in history as crazy Emily, the one who was always panicked, always flighty. Who ended relationships at the drop of a hat. But luckily for her, she no longer had to worry about those men, let alone their opinions.
Not only had she not seen most of them in years, she now had an actual boyfriend. She and Derek had something special. When he showered her with compliments, all that Emily could do was smile and preen. Feeling her cheeks heat up with each word, that dropped out of his mouth, as smooth as honey. And when the two of them were alone.