Chapter 167: Still Can’t Sleep
When Derek had gotten into bed that Thursday night. He had not expected to be out like a light in a matter of seconds. He was not that confident in himself. But it had been close to 30 minutes now. And he was feeling... nothing. Yes, he was tired, but that was nothing new. He was always tired. But that did not mean anything. There was no drowsiness. No rapid blinking, that signalled that his eyes were trying to stay open despite his body trying to sleep. Next to him, Emily, who’d had no trouble settling in and then going to sleep almost instantly, was snoring lightly. He had yet to hear even the slightest hint that she might be having a nightmare. So far it had been only smooth sailings for her, and Derek was unbelievably jealous.
I want that, he thought.
It was not just a matter of wanting, it was a matter of need too. He needed sleep. Everybody needed sleep. But somehow it seemed that for him, slumber would be out of reach for the longest time. Resisting the urge to let out a frustrated yell. Derek settled instead for wriggling around angrily. All under the guise of trying to get more comfortable. He ended up closer to Emily than before without meaning to. Blowing out a frustrated breath, he turned his head towards her.
He could not really make out her features in the dark, but her breath was warm against his neck every time she breathed out. "At least one of us is benefiting from this," He whispered in the dark. Emily did not reply, she was already deep in sleep. The deal had been that both of them would have to see if the sleep thing was working for them. Clearly it had worked for Emily, but for Derek it was yet another failed attempt.
If he were a ruder, more mean-spirited person, he would have woken her up out of spite, and if he were truly toxic, he would have even asked her to leave, told her that the whole thing was off. But Derek was not that cold-hearted. So even as he stared at Emily in the dark, barely able to make out her features, envy clouding his mind. Derek knew that he was not going to wake her up. He was not going to ruin this for her. Just because it was not working for him, it did not mean that he could not be happy for someone else. Emily deserved this. She worked just as hard as he did.
So he would let her have this moment. Let her just enjoy her sleep. They would talk about a way forward in the morning. Since this was not working for him, there would have to be some adjustments made. Maybe every once in a while, like twice or three times a week. He would see if he had enough time to let her come and sleep for a few hours a night.
Given that it seemed that he himself would not be sleeping, it was a reasonable offer. Maybe he could give her five hours of him just laying there and not moving, allowing her body the rest that it needed. But since she was already asleep, Derek decided that there was no harm in leaving her to it.