Chapter 248 - 239 Way Out
"Lin Dong and I were college classmates. We had a wonderful time together. He started his own business in college, staying ahead of the industry; at first, he was quite successful and rode high on success. After graduation, we got married, but the good times didn’t last. His business ran into problems, quickly declined, accrued debt, and eventually failed. He became a wreck, and every attempt to restart ended in failure. It was a vicious cycle. Our household gradually began to rely on me for support. He started drinking heavily, mingling with all sorts of unreliable friends. I gave him my last savings to invest, only for him to be swindled by friends, leaving us completely broke. Because of this, I became dissatisfied with his choice of friends. I would list how unreliable they were. He was unhappy, and we began to argue—more and more fiercely. Once, when he was drunk, he brought up investing with his friends again. I disagreed, and we had a violent argument, one that spiraled out of control. Naturally, we said things we couldn’t take back, and that time, for the first time, he hit me, and I was already more than seven months pregnant..."
Recalling the past was like reopening an old wound, profound and bloody pain.
Tears welled in Chen Qi’s eyes. After a moment of calm, she said, "Punching, kicking, even hitting my stomach because of this, Nuonuo was born prematurely... Later, when he sobered up, he tearfully repented, kneeling in front of me, begging for forgiveness. For a while, he treated Nuonuo and me extremely well. At that time, I considered that Nuonuo was still so young, and he seemed genuinely remorseful, so I forgave him. But I was wrong. Domestic violence is something that happens either zero or countless times. Once it starts, it never ends. Over the following years, his career never picked up again. He couldn’t succeed at anything. His temper grew more volatile and extremely sensitive, unable to tolerate any criticism. I couldn’t say he was failing; no one could. If he heard even a whisper outside that he was being supported by his wife, I’d be in trouble. I’d also suggested there’s no need to invest in being the boss, to get a job with a company, work nine to five, but he refused. His starting point was too high to live under someone else. Life then fell into a vicious cycle of arguing, hitting me, apologizing. Each time he begged for forgiveness, he was sincere, and then the next time he’d drink, he’d take it out on me just the same..."
No matter how deep feelings were, they’d be erased in such a life. For the future, she was almost in despair, yet in her despair, she felt the light of Su Ronggui. Knowing she shouldn’t, her heart was still illuminated by this light. Lin Dong said she called out Su Ronggui’s name under him, which was an exaggeration, but it was true she dreamt different dreams in the same bed with Lin Dong. In many dreams, she dreamt of Su Ronggui, of glaciers covering the plateau, of being buried in ruins in a disaster area, with no hope of survival. She called Su Ronggui’s name repeatedly, wishing he’d come rescue her. Whether at some point she called his name out loud for Lin Dong to hear, she couldn’t be sure, but she thought the her in dreams seeking unfulfilled survival, the her fainting in the snow, the her being trapped under rubble, were reflections of her real life. She felt like she was drowning in a sea of suffering, unable to save herself. She dared to hope that Su Ronggui would come to save her in dreams, yet knew in real life there would never be anyone to save her...
"But do you plan to keep enduring such a life?"
Tu Hengsha’s question interrupted her thoughts. She sighed deeply, "What else can I do if not endure? Initially, I always held some illusion—maybe he really regretted his actions? Maybe he could really change? But later, when I saw through it and knew he couldn’t change, I thought of divorce. I also moved out with my son once, but he refused to divorce. Wherever I moved, he would follow and threaten, just like this time, bragging that if I mentioned divorce again, he’d kill me and our son, then commit suicide afterward..."
She gave a bitter smile, "I don’t know if he’s just threatening me or if he’d really do it, but what I do know is that this marriage can’t be ended."
"If you can’t reach an agreement, can’t you go to court or seek help?" Tu Hengsha found Lin Dong terrifying. She thought back to last night; when Xiao Xu hurt his hand and needed stitches, she was distressed; she couldn’t imagine deliberately harming Xiao Xu herself.