Chapter 63: Making Bad Decisions
Jules’ pov
I dreamt of my mother again, along with my sister this time. It left a very horrible feeling behind, but at least I didn’t wake up in tears this time.
Blaze’s arm was around me, holding me against his chest, and I felt my heart flutter as all that transpired between us at the bathroom resurfaced in my mind.
For the first time in my life, something which I had been extremely insecure of my entire life got revealed to him, and he reacted in a way that still made my heart ache whenever I think about it. After dipping me into the bathtub, he didn’t leave and instead remained there until I had soaked in it until the water turned cold.
I had felt extremely shy underneath his gaze, completely bare in his presence like that, but he never gave me a reason to feel scared of him at that moment, or to feel uncomfortable. If anything, as he helped me out of the tub and toweled me dry, I wasn’t sure I’d ever felt that thoroughly taken care of in a long while.
He had picked out a pair of shorts for me from my stuff along with a different shirt of his, and once I was dressed in those again, we slipped into the bed and I slept for hours. I woke up a second time, in tears once again, and Blaze was there to make everything better, comforting me until I fell asleep once again, sleeping throughout the rest of the day until this morning.
It was impossible to believe that the one student whom every other students labeled as a monster, was the same one who was currently holding me against his chest right now, was the same one who had saved me from those vampires, was the same one who had consoled and comforted me immensely, the one who genuinely didn’t make me feel like a freak. It was very impossible to believe, and I was very certain no one would believe me if I told them Blaze did all of those things.
As I shifted a little, my mind drifted back towards the dream I had. It made guilt hang heavily in my heart. I felt extremely guilty because somehow, it feels like I wasn’t doing enough for my murdered family when I have the chance to. It made me feel guilty because out of everyone, I was the only one who survived, and yet I was hiding away in here instead of being out there, searching for their murderers. While in here, the least I could do, which is to get some much needed information on Xander’s father, I was still yet to achieve anything on that so far, and it made me super guilty.
That made me decide within myself that I was gonna find Xander today and tell him that I’m ready for him to fuck me like he want to. That would be a great start because at least I’d finally be able to get into his room.