Booking Glory

"At times, I have been a bitch." Dacey continued shaking her head. "I will give you that, but whenever I seemed too forceful or intense about you not spending your time with me, it is because I feared that you have grown tired of me. Whenever I saw your attention shifting, I was afraid that I was beginning to lose you."

"Dacey," Rob began only for her to raise her hands and stop him.

"Not now, Rob. I need to get this off my chest. And I know it wasn’t something you did intentionally. But still, my mind began thinking about all these various worst-case scenarios. I even deluded myself into thinking that I was worried for Andy and LWC. But, the fact of the matter is, it was about me. It was always about me and my need to get approval," Dacey chuckled causing Rob to feel a bit stunned.

"But, I worked through it and decided that I needed to be a better girlfriend. I even once thought that once we had sex, you would stop seeing me. That was one of the reasons I dragged it this long. When I invited you for lunch today, it was more out of fear of losing you to Stacy if I don’t step things up a notch," Dacey said a little self-deprecatingly.

"There is always this fear deep down in my heart that I am not at the same level as you are. That is why I waited till I became a champion to ask you out. That is why I tried to drag things when I should have let things take their natural course. And now, you have become a millionaire," Dacey chuckled shaking her head.

"Dacey, you know I don’t actually think you aren’t at my level, don’t you?" Rob asked a little shaken.

"I know Rob," Dacey said with a small smile. "I know. But knowing something and accepting something is entirely different. I realized this afternoon, I am once again becoming dependent on your approval. I am once more regressing into those behaviors that sent me to a place where I don’t want to be."

"It is hard. That is why I decided this afternoon to end stuff with you," Dacey said causing Rob to look at her in shock. "I can’t afford to go back to becoming the old me. I can’t do that. Not for you, not for anyone in this world. I can’t go there again, Rob."

"But... but... this...we... now..." Rob asked not able to wrap his head around what Dacey was telling.

"You must understand. I like you. I absolutely like you. But, I just didn’t want to get dependent on you again. I need to walk out of those shadows. I can’t regress back into what I was," Dacey said with a painful expression on her face. "But, every time I try to walk away from you, you will say or do something, that will make it harder for me to let you go."

"I thought to end this relationship between us with a banger and let go of all my insecurities and truly be myself for the night. That was the Dacey you saw in that car. I just wanted to have a good time and make a good memory. But, you once again dragged me back and I was absolutely conquered by you," Dacey said with a weak chuckle.

"I have realized now that it is hard to walk away from you. For me, it is very hard. I don’t know what to do anymore. I think I love you, but I am scared that I may come off as too strong and too soon. I keep second-guessing myself every time. I am regressing back to the old me who looked for everyone’s approval," Dacey said grabbing her head.