The Villainess Is An SS+ Rank Adventurer

The Summer Solstice Festival was known for many things.

And all of them were to do with hooliganism.

From the streets of the market district to the steps of the Reitzlake Cathedral, to the cloister of Reitzlake Cathedral, to the vestry of Reitzlake Cathedral and to the private chambers of Reitzlake Cathedral, it was a given that everyone would celebrate summer’s bounty.

However, no matter how steadfast the seasonal hoodlums were, their revelry paled in comparison to the original miscreants of my kingdom.

For while the many visitors sought only to make a mess during the annual festivities, there were others who celebrated everything … including that rarest of occasions.

A princess blessing the Adventurer’s Guild with her presence.

Creaaaaaaaak.

Or at least that’s what usually happened.

The moment I stepped through the permanently chipped doors, I realised something was amiss.

Gone were the stranded tankards leaking from the ceiling. Gone were the burly ladies riding barrels while dwarves vomited from within. Gone was the sound of laughter and boasts as fists slammed into cheeks and anger turned into song.

Instead … there was a common room filled with stoic adventurers.

Wearing the defiant expressions of veterans marooned upon a battlefield, they ignored the sweat upon their brows as much as my arrival. Clutching notebooks or standing with their arms crossed, they nodded while conversing in low murmurs around tables shorn of stains.

There were piles of documents, candles and inkwells instead, placed around maps of the sewers, the docks and the streets where trouble could most typically be found.

The atmosphere was unmistakably serious.

As I stood rooted to the spot, a large man bumped into me with a tankard in his hand. He nodded in apology, then leaned down to scoop up a quill that had fallen from what was now a stationery pot.

My hands covered my mouth.

Then … I sniffed the air, before turning to look at the communal cauldron quietly bubbling away in the centre of the hall.

There was no mistaking it.

That was the scent of parsley.

Something actually green. Likely freshly chopped. And not a hint of somebody’s shoes.

I almost fainted.

“W-What is this?! Are we in the right place? Is this the Adventurer’s Guild?”

Clearly just as puzzled, Coppelia raised herself to her tiptoes and looked around the hall.

“Hmm … I’m not too sure. I have no historical references to match this sight. I don’t see a single forehead stuck to the floor. That just feels wrong.”

“Then it’s as I suspect. This … This is unprecedented!”

Indeed, the bar even still had bottles behind it!

Despite it being evening with nobody other than me to judge them, the only sip taken was from the occasional cup of water. Something I didn’t even know was allowed to exist.

I was utterly stunned.

Why, seeing adventurers failing to bow, grovel and apologise for all that they did was little surprise, but far from simply lacking in etiquette, it almost looked like they were simply … busy.

“Coppelia … are they working?”

“I think so, and not even the type of working we do where we tell others what to do.”

“That is work. Supervision is extremely important for productivity. In fact, you can see it here! Clearly, somebody is guiding them with an iron will!”

Indeed, as much as I hoped our efforts had left an impression so bright it could sear itself into the hearts of every hoodlum, the fact was that they wouldn’t be adventurers if they wanted to be useful.

They’d be fruit slimes instead.

For adventurers to be dedicating themselves to something other than how to drown in a keg was utterly unheard of. A dire omen. For while I could not imagine what great need had driven them to cast aside their apathy, I could see what terror could have brought them to heel instead.

For one thing … she was already waiting patiently behind the counter.

Bracing myself, I walked over to the wall covered in peeling notices, then plucked the newest one.

Wanted: Ophelia the Snow Dancer

Sought for questioning in connection with a series of robberies throughout the city. The Snow Dancer was last seen traversing the rooftops of the noble district and is accompanied by a pair of ducks.

Any sightings are to be reported to the Reitzlake Guard or the Adventurer’s Guild.

A+, 15,625gc (Updated 29th dawn, summercrest)

It was the same as the one outside, save for the scribble denoting the reward.

Scrunching it in my hand, I made my way to the wooden counter and placed it down.

“Greetings! Welcome to the Reitzlake branch of the Adventurer’s Guild. I see you’ve removed the notice from the wall. That isn’t necessary. Commissions are open to all and can be accepted here at the counter.”

The harbinger of doom offered a polite smile.

I pursed my lips in response.

Indeed, here was a true professional.

A receptionist who never needed to fear being sent to Ouzelia. Her back was so straight that a St. Liane piano could fall on her and simply break in two.

Despite assailing me on multiple occasions, her greeting was no different from how she spoke to every lost soul to wander before her. As an assassin of dignity, she did not remember her victims. She only counted them.

Little wonder, then, if the hoodlums here were hoping to avoid her attention.

“... I have a question.”

“Of course! How may I help?”

“The adventurers. I cannot help but notice they are frightening the mice away less than usual. Could they be so drunk that they’ve reached an enlightened state? Have their souls left their bodies?”

The harbinger of doom nodded towards her flock.

“Ah, this! The Summer Solstice Festival is always the busiest time for our branch. There’s typically little room for rest, and this year is even more busy. The guild has partnered with the kingdom to ensure the safety of the festival.”

“E-Excuse me?”

I was shocked.

The Summer Solstice Festival was the highlight of the year. As a week-long celebration filled with endless galas, it was well guarded, both by the increased garrison and the knightly chapters, all of whom were present for the various tournaments.

To use adventurers was not only unnecessary, but a needless boon to their reputation!

“It was by the suggestion of the Crown Prince,” explained the receptionist, offering a knowing smile exactly half a step from extortion. “Given the many incidents that have occurred as of late, he believed it wise to ensure that extra assurance was present to ensure a smooth festival.”

“I … I see … ? It was Roland’s … I mean, it was the Crown Prince’s idea …”

“Yes, he sent his personal aide to propose the idea, before arranging the details himself.”

“Well, he is both diligent and caring of the people. It is little surprise that he would leave nothing to chance. With that said, what cost is being paid for these hoodlums to remain sober?”

“I’m afraid those details haven’t been released yet. However, I do know that the payment includes the donation of a considerable number of wines from Reitzlake Castle’s cellars. I’ve heard they are popular vintages from the Summer Kingdoms.”

I let out a gasp.

Roland … he was so smart!!

Indeed! The only language these louts understood was alcohol!

By promising those vintages they could never afford nor secure even if they had the crowns, my brother had ensured that the worst drunkards had turned from liability to asset!

I … I had so much to learn!

Why, by achieving such a feat, it gave the correct impression our kingdom alone was so civilised we could keep the Adventurer’s Guild in check!

“I see! … That is very generous! Of course, the results when the wine is delivered will be catastrophic, but by then the royal capital will already be a mess. Whatever the louts do will hardly be felt!”

“Yes, I believe the Crown Prince has carefully considered how to ensure as many adventurers present themselves as possible. Aside from the promise of wine, there is another unofficial reward as well.”

“There is? What would that be?”

“An audience with the Crown Prince himself, offered to the highest performing adventurer.”

Utmost horror filled me at the notion … and yet as the receptionist leaned in slightly, her hand playfully shielding her lips, I knew she was about to say something that would have me recoil even further.

“However, there are rumours it doesn’t have to be the Crown Prince. Given that Princess Florella has recently arrived, it’s been suggested that it will be possible to meet her instead. As a result, every adventurer from the Reitzlake branch and many others are now working tirelessly to achieve what they believe is a once in a lifetime opportunity to earn the 1st Princess’s favour.”

I took a step back.

It wasn’t enough. I needed to turn around and dash all the way to the castle where I could throw my arms around Florella’s legs and stop her from sacrificing herself.

Wasn’t this beyond awful?!

To dangle a meeting with royalty was a reward far greater than any adventurer deserved! That was something dignitaries backstabbed each other constantly in order to achieve!

Were it known that a mere adventurer was allowed to avoid tradition, it would be terrible! Nobility might even choose to join the guild! … And yet the greatest issue of all was Florella!

As someone sweet and fragile who had never seen mud up close, she would have no idea how to react when faced with hoodlums such as these!

I … I could not allow this to happen … !

That’s why–

“Absolutely not!”

“Excuse me?”

I scrunched up the notice and took a deep breath.

“For the sake of the 1st Princess, I shall ensure that none other than me will be allowed to go near her. I will guarantee the sanctity of this festival. And I’ll do that by apprehending the insane elven woman.”

“Excuse me?”

“The insane elven woman. Her. The Snow Dancer.”

The receptionist clapped her hands together. Her smile bloomed at once.

“Ah! How wonderful! It’s certainly a task suited to your level. I’ve no doubt that if you achieved it, the guildmaster would sing your praises even more than he already does. Although the adventurers here are hard at work, few are concerned with catching the Snow Dancer, even with the reward.”

“Well, yes, given how paltry it is, I’m not surprised.”

The receptionist tilted her head slightly.

She glanced down at the number, her puzzlement clear.

After all, it was far less than what anyone deserved for enduring the Snow Dancer’s talent for making every word exiting her lips a national scandal.

15,625 gold crowns was barely enough to ensure my tower was insulated with pillows.

It also wasn’t anywhere near the bounty for the pirates who’d dug up my coast, but compared to the merchants of Trierport, those living in the noble district were only willing to offer the bare minimum to ensure her capture.

Even so, it was enough for my needs.

My true reward was everything she had collected for me.

Ohohohoho!

Indeed, I would double up on my reward!

Although her current antics were most certainly not with the royal treasury in mind, I was glad to accept her contribution to it. Whatever stolen wealth she’d accumulated, I would simply take it for myself!

Instead of requisitioning everybody, I could simply requisition one person!

The convenience was marvellous!

“... If the reward is not sufficient, I could send out a notice. It’s not uncommon that for dangerous tasks, a minimum recommendation be suggested. This is particularly true given that the Snow Dancer is a famed sword saint.”

“Wonderful. You may do that. In the meantime, I will apprehend this vagrant. Is there a cozy cafe with a terrace view you can recommend?”

“Excuse me?”

“I’m going to wait for her to harass me. I don’t expect it to take long.”

The receptionist hummed in thought.

Naturally, I had no intention of going out of my way to find her, nor did I need to.

Given that fate had a very poor sense of humour, all I had to do was dedicate my time to enjoying myself as much as possible and she’d come at the most inconvenient moment.

For example–

“–Oh! I have a recommendation.”

By poking me in the back.

I swished around at once, ready to punt the Snow Dancer an appropriate distance.

Instead, I was surprised to see an entirely different elven woman before me.

Strands of wavy, golden hair. Eyes gleaming with a sapphire hue. A well-tailored dress with a full cloak, colourful yet demure, appropriate for both the forest and the city. A maidenly appearance, although she was likely many decades older, given the depth of colour in her eyes.

“There’s a lovely cafe not far from here,” she said enthusiastically. “It has a wonderful view over the docks and also much of the old town. It’s a little bit rustic. I highly recommend it.”

“I see. A view of the docks and the old town. I must make sure to never go there. Thank you for the recommendation.”

“You’re welcome.” The elven woman tilted her head slightly. “Excuse me, but if I may ask, would you happen to be … Miss Juliette? Are you the famous adventurer who I’ve heard so much about?”

I gasped in horror.

“I-I am most certainly not a famous adventurer! Whatever you’ve heard is the work of my enemies wishing to soil my reputation! Rest assured, everything you’ve heard is a lie!”

“Is that so? But I was told you were beautiful and virtuous, with a healing touch and an angelic aura.”

I paused.

“... Well, yes, that much is true. But everything else is false.”

“I see! How wonderful! Then you were just who I was looking for!”

“You’ll need to look for someone else with a healing touch and an angelic aura, then. But while you won’t find that here, there are plenty of adventurers pretending to be busy.”

“Ah, but none of them have the reputation you do. I’ve a commission that I wish to offer, and I believe your expertise is perfect for it.”

“As I said–”

Clink.

The elven woman lifted a tiny pouch from beneath her cloak.

I was aggrieved.

“Excuse me! But if you wish to bribe me for services, you will need more than a tiny pouch! This is scarcely enough to feed my horse!”

“Goodness, your horse must be very hungry. This is a bottomless pouch. There are 20,000 gold crowns inside.”

I turned to Coppelia. She nodded furiously.

“... Fine. I will listen. And only because I’m virtuous. It’s not because I’m easily bribed.”

“Of course. Rest assured, I would not have come to you if I believed that crowns were enough to move you.”

The elven woman placed the pouch to her chest and offered a bow.

“I am Lady Celisse of the Caedrawood. I’ve come here to enjoy the festival … as well as to see to some personal errands. Sadly, not all has gone to plan. But I’ve heard much of your tales and exploits even during my brief time in this city. I was hoping you could aid me.”

“Very well. And what exactly is it that troubles a visitor from the Caedrawood … ?”

The woman smiled, then clapped her hands together.

“An ordinary problem.”