Chapter 282: This Life And The Next... We’re Together (2)
Arren merely nodded. He couldn’t speak at this moment, and all he wanted was to calm himself and listen to Spade.
Spade had started from the start; he wanted to let himself be known to the other. In fact, this was his first time showing his vulnerable side to others. Even those with him, like Levin or Serrien, had not seen it on more than one occasion.
He wanted to let others know his thoughts and, most especially, his feelings.
"I’m not ashamed to say that I don’t have any experience in love," Spade continued, his eyes not leaving Arren’s. "I set my priorities straight and have abided by them for years, and I can’t even spare a minute for other things, including dating."
Spade took a deep breath, his eyes showing a hint of guilt. "And so... I’ve become more insensitive to you a lot of times. I know... you’re feelings, and yet I didn’t say anything and only took a step back each time, thinking if I ignored them, they would fade in time."
Arren swallowed, not interrupting Spade, but his emotions were being affected by each word.
"I know it’s too late, but I still want to say... Arren, I’m sorry. I can’t make excuses for hurting your feelings and letting go through each heartbreak. This is entirely my fault."
Arren bit his lips; he had never thought of Spade apologizing to him before, and now that he did, he realized that he didn’t want to see the alpha like this. And as he was about to open his mouth to say something, Spade shook his head and beat Arren to it.
"You don’t have to say anything, just... Listen to me for a bit." Spade’s throat moved as he swallowed before continuing. "All of this is my shortcomings. I’m not perfect and will never be. I admit that sometimes my decisions and reasons are flawed. And yet... telling you all this doesn’t mean I have the right to hurt you just because of my inability to discern my own feelings."