Chapter 232: Changes
Lying in their bed, their bodies entangled, Arren and Spade silently pressed against each other. In times like this, when words were not necessarily needed, by being there and his presence were enough.
They had not yet even changed their clothes and went quietly into the bedroom, as if both had a sluggish feeling and did not have the strength to do anything. The whole room was shrouded in darkness, with only a dim light coming from outside illuminating the room, but it was still too dim, only enough to see each other’s faces vaguely.
A few minutes had passed, or perhaps it was almost an hour; they didn’t really keep track of the time; no one had the mood for that. Spade shifted and moved slightly closer. Arren, who was pillowing in the alpha’s arms, also repositioned himself and scooted closer.
Arren stared at the alpha’s face amidst the darkness, his eyes drooping, and subconsciously, his hand tightened his grip through their interlocked fingers. If he could share the burdens and pains of the alpha, he could.
He had never seen the alpha so distressed like this; it was beyond the fear that he saw whenever something was happening to him, but the kind of distress connected to him bearing all the responsibilities from what happened and was about to happen. It was far heavier, which only Spade, who was in his position, could feel.
As he wasn’t there, Arren didn’t know the full extent of what happened or the damage and casualties that the chaos caused, but it could be easily discerned even if he wasn’t informed by the numbers. Seeing Spade in this state was enough for Arren to be aware of how things escalated far more than they anticipated.
It didn’t take long, and their eyes met; as though they communicated in silence, the two leaned and pressed their heads against each other. They didn’t kiss; it was like they were only breathing each other’s presence, making one another’s presence visible.
"I’m a terrible person," Spade whispered, his eyelids drooping lazily but somehow weak.
He thought he was rational enough to know that war always had casualties and sacrifices, no, he was always aware of it. Didn’t this also explain why he was hesitant at first to go this route, but the leader never gave him any other choice than war?