Chapter 1: Mythic Tier Regret
"Man, I really wanna jack off."
Muttered the short, brown-haired college student as he shuffled down the sidewalk, hands in his hoodie pocket, eyes half-lidded with exhaustion.
It was late. The city lights flickered above him, traffic passed with a hum, and the red crosswalk light glared back in silence.
"College is actual buns," he grumbled. "Professor wants me to write a two-thousand-word Shakespearean essay about how Christopher Columbus clapped half the native chicks. Like, what the hell am I even paying tuition for?"
The light turned green. He stepped into the street, shaking his head with a soft perverted chuckle.
"But whatever. I found this mythic-tier video of an absolute baddie. Bro, I am so ready to bust a fa—"
VVRROOOM.
Headlights.
A truck. Barreling toward him.
He froze, eyes wide in horror as the oncoming truck got closer. Time slowed.
’No! I can’t die like this! I didn’t even get to watch the video!’