Book 14: Chapter 26
Freya was placed under house arrest; she was aware she couldn’t defy Lucia. She was just a stranger to others, but Lucia was His Majesty’s beloved wife. Further, Lucia had given birth to his children. Despite her children being girls, His Majesty really loved them, and vassals weren’t in a position to comment. As such, Lucia was basically a treasure.
If Freya angered Lucia, Lucia could easily confiscate her of her authority. As a Regent, Lucia had more authority than Freya did. The people around would also support Lucia as opposed to her.
Freya curled up into a ball on the bed. Lucia sternly and righteously told her Troy wasn’t dead yet. Her brother was still alive, but she didn’t believe it. She never believed it for a moment. How could her brother cheerfully leave, taking his gentle smile with me from her and not even leave a single piece of clothing behind?
As Freya lied there on the bed, she silently griped, “My brother disappeared. He disappeared right before me. I miss him day and night, hoping he returns to my side. Why hasn’t he come back? These women then began to bicker amongst each other and never asked for my opinion, acting as though my brother was their belonging and as if my brother had nothing to do with me. They quarrelled about where my brother went, yet nobody ever cared about me. When I gave my input, they insulted me and claimed I wasn’t worried about my brother. Those women were no different to a group of hyena, fighting for my brother, while I clearly love my brother and worry for him so much. All I could do in the end was stand to one side and blankly watch.
What right do they have to do that? What right do they have to be so overbearing? My brother isn’t just their husband; he’s also my brother!! They’ve never considered me his sister! They’ve never respected me!! Nobody in the North loves me! My brother was my only blissful home, yet I have nothing now. They don’t understand how important my brother is to me! They can’t part with him, but neither can I!!’
Why does nobody understand how I feel? Why can’t we build a statue of my brother when he’s so great? Why are people, instead, calling me crazy and wilful? If they don’t acknowledge me, I shall commemorate my brother in my own way. Is there a problem with that? Why are those women the only ones allowed to commemorate him? They can inherit all of my brother’s belongings and everybody will comfort them. How about me? My brother is gone, and I can’t even continue to live in the North. How am I going to commemorate my brother if I can’t even leave behind my mark?
A North without my brother is meaningless. A world without my brother is meaningless. So what if I ruin the North? My brother can’t see a perfect North. He can’t see his own place of hope. If they don’t think well of me, why should I have to be nice to them? Nobody has even been nice to me, so why do I have to be nice to this world and them? Only my brother loves me. My brother was the only one who was kind to me. I, therefore, will only be gentle with him. I love only my brother. If he’s no longer around, what purpose do I have left? That group of women keep blabbering about how much they love their husband, yet not a single one of them notices how much I love my brother.”
“Brother… Brother… Brother…” sobbed Freya.
Freya missed her brother whenever she has nothing to do. She missed him, his voice, smile and face. And, whenever she thought of her brother, her body would suddenly feel weird. She found herself unable to resist the urge to reach down below her dress. She didn’t know why she wanted her brother to embrace her whenever she thought of him. She looked forward to experiencing what she experienced that night again. She felt she had hanged. Her body became strange after that experience. She grew addicted to the sensation after that night.