Stray Cat Strut

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Stray Cat Strut (A cyberpunk system apocalypse!) - Ongoing

Fluff (A superheroic LitRPG about cute girls doing cute things!) - Ongoing

Love Crafted (Interactive story about an eldritch abomination tentacle-ing things!) - Completed!

Dreamer's Ten-Tea-Cle Café (An insane Crossover about cute people and tentacles) - Hiatus

Cinnamon Bun (A wholesome LitRPG!) - Ongoing

The Agartha Loop (A Magical-Girl drama!) - Volume Two Complete!

Lever Action (A fantasy western with mecha!) - Volume One Complete!

Heart of Dorkness (A wholesome progression fantasy) - Completed!

Dead Tired (A comedy about a Lich in a Wuxia world doing Science!) - Ongoing

Sporemageddon (A fantasy story about a mushroom lover exploding the industrial revolution!) - Ongoing

Past the Redline (A girl goes too fast, then she does it again) - Completed!

Magical Girl Crystal Genocide (Magical Girls accidentally the planet, and then try to fix it) - Completed!

Magical Girl Rending Nightmare (A sequel to Crystal Genocide! Cute girls in a soviet dystopia having a picnic on the roadside) - Volume Two Completed!

Noblebright (A shipcore AI works to avenge humanity) - Completed!

The Complicated Love Life of Ivil Antagonist (The Empress of Mars finds love) - Completed!

Pokebun (Broccoli Bunch in the world of Pokemon) - Hiatus

Queen Violence (An Assassin Reborn as a Kitten) - Completed!

No Strings Attached (An Elden Ring/Bloodborne inspired progression fantasy) - Ongoing

Save Scumming (A time-looping system apocalypse) - Ongoing

Chapter Twenty-One - Shorting Your Lifespan

"Pro-tip: The best time to attack an enemy is when they don't expect it.

The second best time is right after you've both agreed to a mutual cease-fire, that way they'll really not expect it.

Though that one might come with certain elements of reputational damage."

--The Internet's Guide to Genocide, 2046

***

"Room... service?" the man asked. He looked over to his buddies, and there was a fair bit of tension there before he turned his attention back to me. "I assume that this isn't some sort of joke?"

"I'm a funny woman, but no, not a joke," I said. I turned my attention to the first guard to react, though by now the rest had pulled iron and were pointing it at Crisis Mode and I. I supposed that explained why the others were so tense. "Put that away before you hurt someone."

The guard looked over to the people who were presumably their boss.

The man who'd stood up nodded. "Let's cooperate with the friendly samurai, shall we? It's not every day that we receive such distinguished guests. Are you hungry, thirsty? Quebec is bereft of some of the nicer amenities of New Montreal, I'm sure, but we still have a few local delicacies that are worth the time."

"No thanks, I grabbed a burger on the flight over," I replied, then I stepped further into the room. The guards on the edge were very reluctantly lowering their arms. They obviously didn't want to, but what was their other option?

Still, I didn't want to push things too hard. That would be a quick way to get shot up.

Knowing that my death would be all sorts of avenged was cool, but I'd still rather not die.

"So, when I asked my pal Myalis--"

We're pals?

"She, uh," I stumbled. Dammit, she just had to say something. "She said that I'd find the folks in charge around here, and look at this? A whole room full of people that definitely look like they're up to something."

"Just a friendly meeting," the man said.

"Well, you won't mind us joining, then," I replied. "I'm Stray Cat, from New Montreal as you seem to know. This is Crisis Mode, she's from here. And Shy, also from New Montreal."

The man's suave smile froze for a split second. "Shy?"

"She's shy," I explained. "She'll show up when she wants. You know how stealth specialists are."

"Ah, of course. We'll set some grignotines aside for her as well."

"I'm sure she'd appreciate it. So, who are you lot?"

The man shifted back a bit. "I'm Walter Durand, owner of the Durand brand of luxury cosmetics and a few other humble companies. I'm something of a socialite here." He smiled, and while it was a winner, handsome smile, I still felt a shiver crawl down my spine. Sometimes about his eyes.

He gestured to one of the men nearby. He looked stuffy as hell in this all-black suit. It probably fit that man well, like, five years ago, but he was a little chubby for it. "Amos Cohen," he said. "Accounting."

"Fun," I replied with the same amount of joy he put into it.

If I ever had to do taxes, I was going to jump off a roof.

I turned my attention to the next person down, one of the only two women sitting there. She glanced around, then shrugged. "Jeanne Duby, CEO of Chouchoutage Inc.. We're one of the biggest service providers in Quebec."

"What kind of service?" I asked.

"Subscriptions," she said without elaborating any more.

"What kind?" I asked.

"Yes," she said with a cute little smile.

"Right," I said before turning my attention to the last guy and gal.

"Franc Casset," the man said. "I own several entertainment and news organizations that serve the region."

"Corrine DePlessis," the woman next to him replied. "Security. Cyber and physical."

"Wow, what a bunch of all-stars," I said. "So, I have some questions. For example, what the fuck is going on in Quebec right now? The city's a hair's breadth away from getting overrun but no one in the rest of the country seems to know about it. The military has half defected, and that media blackout seems to mean that no one knows. What I should be finding is a whole city gearing up to get shit done. Instead, Crisis Mode here implied that the militia is basically running on fumes while you guys are here eating... is that real fruit?"

"We have a little greenhouse deeper in the city," Walter replied with a winning smile. "Strawberries and mangoes year-round. It's a pricey little luxury, but I think it's worth it? Want some?"

"I'll take a dog bag," I said. From the looks I got, maybe those weren't so popular here? "But let's get back to the situation at hand, yeah?"

This would have been so much easier if they chose not to be talkative and reasonable. Then I could deescalate someone out of a window and set the right tone, but I didn't want to just start blasting when people were willing to talk, even if my fingers were feeling a little itchy.

"Yes, the situation at hand," Walter said. "I'm afraid that I don't know what you want from us, Samurai Stray Cat. But rest assured that if it's for the safety of our city, we'll certainly give it our all."

"Cool, I appreciate that," I said. "So, you won't mind my AI trawling through your... everything, really, for hints as to what's going on?"

"I object," DuPlessis said as she sat up straighter. "My client's information is vitally important to their operations, and allowing any third party to access that would put their operations at risk."

"What if I made a big ol' promise that I won't leak anything?" I asked.

She scoffed. "Please. We both know how much that kind of offer is worth. The data you're asking access to is worth trillions."

"I can make it be worth nothing," I said. "A few sentences and all of your bank accounts, even the ones you don't let people know about, will be empty. I can void all of your contracts. I can have every last one of your employees receive a message that politely informs them that as of right now, they're jobless."

That got their attention.

"Cool, we're all on the same page now," I said with a clap. "Now, what the fuck is going on? We'll start with the Commander for the army since he should be here soon. Why is the person who is supposed to be in charge of the city's garrison hanging out in this megabuilding in the middle of the city instead of doing his damned job?"

"I'm certain there's no need to be so accusatory," Walter began.

I snorted. "Myalis, every time someone in this room is condescending, remove one credit from their total wealth."

They blinked at that.

"Then double it each time."

Teaching you about exponentials was perhaps a mistake. Though using them exclusively for threats is amusing.

Ah, that got a better reaction. The accountant guy, Amos, started to sweat a little. "That seems excessive."

"Was that condescension I heard?" I asked.

"No," he replied quickly.

"Cool. The Commander. Why?"

The rich bunch looked between each other, but it was DuPlessis, the 'security' woman that answered. "We made an offer to the Commander as well as several of his officers to move them closer to the centre of the city to better protect our assets."

"From the Antithesis?" I asked.

"No, from the citizenry," she replied. "When we execute the next phase of our operation, we predict that there's a high likelihood that there will be riots, which tend to escalate to full-scale violence. Our own security forces won't be sufficient."

"Your operation?" Crisis Mode asked. "Wait, are you the ones responsible for the media blackout?"

"In part," Franc Casset said. "It's part of the overall plan, certainly."

I crossed my arms. "What's the plan, then?"

"I don't know if we really should share it so casually," Amos said.

"That wouldn't be wise," the other woman, Jeanne, agreed. "The more people who know, the less likely it is to succeed."

"Spill it anyway," I suggested.

My new best bud Walter licked his lips. "Well, it's quite simple on the onset. Though the details are complex. See, Quebec is a good provider of luxury goods, and because of certain... demographic realities, isn't as tied into the rest of the country as other mega cities. This allows for certain things to be exploited. Notably, ah, do you know what shorting means?"

"I think so," I said. I had no fucking clue.

"Fantastic. Well, by portraying the city as being under a certain condition, we can make certain moves before the reality of things are revealed. The additional controls on the media allow us more time to prepare for those actions. That's all."

Oh... so it was just a bunch of assholes being greedy.

Thank fuck, I though it was maybe something deeper than that for a moment.

***

A note from RavensDagger

Hi!

Ah... I'm gonna be on a podcast this evening! I'm kinda nervous about it! But I thought I'd link it? If you have any questions or whatever, I might be able to answer them? I don't know, maybe? Ahhhh! I'm far too much of an anxious bundle to accept these things, and yet, here I am, having said yes. Derp.

The whole thing starts at 20:30EST tonight! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yAsX8aNicco