Chapter 172
- HAZEL -
“Do you really mean that?” Killian reaches out to touch me. I shove his hand away, keeping my resolve.
“Yes, I do. You disgust me, Killian. I’ve put it off long enough but I can’t anymore. Let’s break up and end this thing between us.”
In his eyes, I could tell he didn’t want to believe me. I could tell he urged to understand me, to think otherwise and for me to tell him what’s going on with me but I couldn’t. I can’t. I just can’t.
I never called the cops on him, this is a recording I downloaded to deceive him into thinking that I did. I hate being harsh to him. I hate telling him to go, but I’m hoping he stays with me despite all this as he said he would. That’s my only resolve. I think I can turn this whole thing again Asami. I just need to be smart about it. I just need proof of her involvement in blackmail and attesting to hurt me with her own voice. I need traces of her dna be it via fingerprints on my body too. I can’t keep living like this and if I want to go on with this, I can’t have Killian with me. I need her to think I’m still her puppet. I need to act normal and I need to buy another phone along with a new sim.
“Hazel I can’t tell if you’re joking.” His voice breaks my reverie.
“I’m not, Killian. I’ve simply gotten bored.” Was my reply.
I remember watching him walk away. Killian wasn’t violent with me. He didn’t raise his voice or take on an offensive role in that situation. He listened to my wishes regardless of how harsh I was. If the situation was reversed, I’d crumble hard, my world would fall to pieces yet I’m here hurting him while keeping a straight face.
The moment he left, I fell to the floor and screamed my heart out. I cried hard and so loudly that people rushed in later. Letting him go hurt more than what I had been through with Asami throughout those weeks. I felt so empty and back then, I wondered which was easier, be open and honest with him or taking the route I took. No matter how hard I thought about it, the latter was worse but I don’t think I can undo what I’d already done. At least, not till I have accomplished the reason I did it in the first place. I just hope he’d hold onto me and accept me back into his life after what I plan to do is done. I hope it doesn’t drag past this week. If there’s a way I can get my hand on Asami’s phone and hack into any device she could possibly have to delete the leverage she has on me, I would take it, but I’m so blank on to how to go about it. Even if the effect of a nude leak won’t be permanent, it surely will last for quite a while and living through it would be unbearable. I’ve seen other ladies do it and I don’t want to be in their shoes.