Chapter 149
- HAZEL -
‘You’re being very obedient, Hazel. Keep being you and we won’t have a problem.’ I bite my lip as I read the text. How did I get myself into this in the first place?
One would think after a week, this whole charade will be over but it isn’t. Asami still hates me and she’s making it her sole purpose to make my life hell. She’s everywhere. Watching my every move. Monitoring me.
I can’t bathe without panicking. I haven’t had proper sleep for days, I have not had appetite since I nearly fell down the rooftop but she forces me to eat. Threatens me to even. I have to act as if nothing abnormal happened to me and the story of how I got hurt is one she orchestrated.
Heck, I can’t even pee without having to look around me because it feels like someone is watching me. I’ve never felt my sanity go down the drain like it is right now. I’m losing my mind that every minute. . . every second I am screaming on the inside and there’s no one to even run to for aid. There’s no one who can notice me drowning in this situation.
There’s no one I can talk to about it and it is suffocating. I’m too young to be dealing with a psycho hung over ex but here I am clinging onto the last remnants of sanity I have because I’d rather be alive and miserable than be dead without a trace and Asami has made it clear that she would not hesitate to murder my family then come after me if I cross her. She has spelt her evil intentions audibly for me to understand and my part is to submit to her whims.
I release the grip of my teeth on my lower lip the moment the tinge got painful. I’ve been told not to self harm, it’ll be suspicious if I do. The thought of wounding myself to the point where I am hospitalised has crossed my mind several times daily, because at least in a hospital, I can choose who will have access to my room, but I can’t even hurt myself. I let out an exhale.
Acting as if I’m fine when I’m not is the worst thing yet. I am not fine. In all my nineteen years of living, I have never felt so trapped and petrified like I do right now.
Tears.