Chapter 319: Picturing the Future
I was certain that the many medical technological advances that the team of doctors presented to us were beyond impressive; however, it made me feel conflicted inside. To me, I felt like there was also an emotional side to the process of conceiving and having a baby. Many things during the various presentations caught my attention although I couldn’t completely comprehend the medical aspect of things due to my limited background knowledge.
The various videos shown of mothers with their newborn baby and other videos of mothers and fathers raising their baby into a young child were easy enough for me to understand. Everyone featured in the videos seemed happy as they lived their dream come true moment of finally having a child. For a moment, I couldn’t help but wonder if the parents that I used to have smiled like that when they had me or when they were raising me when I was a baby or a young girl.
Trying to recall my memories of them was futile because I simply did not remember anything. I thought that it would have been great had my parents smiled so happily just like the other parents in the videos. However, a nagging feeling at the back of my mind told me that not all families and couples were that simple. Although there were lucky couples who could smile like that, I was certain that not all couples had that luxury to live such a happy moment.
“What’s the success rate of this procedure?” Prince Leonard asked sternly.
The doctor quickly provided the prince with his answer, but I was too focused on Prince Leonard and my own thoughts that I couldn’t focus on the doctor’s response. I couldn’t help but wonder what kind of father the prince would be if he had a child. The question baffled me, and I cocked my head to the side in wonder as I continued observing Prince Leonard as he went about his duties. It was strange, but I couldn’t quite imagine what the prince would be like as a father.
Prince Leonard caught me staring at him and turned my way before he smiled at me. I felt heat rushed to my cheeks as I realized where my thoughts had taken me. I quickly returned his smile before shifting my gaze away from him as I feigned interest in another screen that showed a video of a young toddler playing with something that was supposed to help with his development.
Just like I couldn’t imagine what the prince would be like as a father, I couldn’t see myself as a mother either. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t quite picture myself as a mother. I had no idea what was expected of me or how I would feel or what I should do. When my eyes shifted to another video of a cheerful mother and father embracing their young children, my eyes widened in sudden realization. It may have been because I couldn’t remember my parents and the interactions that I had with them that I couldn’t quite picture a normal family and what parents were supposed to be like.
I used to think that the perfect mother figure was the one who raised me at the orphanage but now I couldn’t be sure anymore. Back then, I also tried my best to take care of the younger girls who grew up at the orphanage but was that really the role of a proper mother?
“Are you feeling unwell?” Prince Leonard asked softly.
I turned to see that he was standing very close behind me with a worried expression on his face. Having been so lost in thought, I hadn’t realized that another presentation had come to an end, and we were supposed to move on to the next exhibition area.
“I’m fine. Thank you...” I replied politely.
“Really? You were sort of spacing out...” the prince replied with clear concern.