Chapter 172 - 4.37 His Bane And Boon
Heimo’s breath came out in stutters. "W—What did you mean by that? You? You don’t have any plan to kill me?" How could that be possible? From the start, they were fated to be enemies. That man was Jingxue-Jun, the most righteous of all and Heimo... he was the crooked cultivator the man had to eradicate. And now he told Heimo that he didn’t have any plan to kill him? Wait— "How..." Heimo grinded his teeth to keep his voice from shaking. "How long have you known? You are immune to my concoction, you—" he swallowed, kicking the thought that sprung out unbidden that Jingxue-Jun must have heard his heartfelt confession. It wasn’t the right time. There was no right time at all. "You knew where I had gone all these while, didn’t you? You know everything."
It was a statement yet he still looked at Jingxue-Jun with a pleading gaze, begging whatever deity there was to save him this tiny bit of dignity, begging Jingxue-Jun to deny the claim. There was no way he knew Heimo’s identity and still acted so kind, still treated him with unbound gentleness, still embraced and kissed him with fervent passion. There was no way, there was no way—
"Lan’er..." Lu Yizhou let out a harsh sigh and just like that, Heimo broke apart.
A blank laugh escaped his lips. "From the start, you have always known I am the Black Demon. From the time when we first met, when you treated my injuries, you have always known."
"I’m sorry, Lan’er. I don’t mean to—"
"You do." Heimo had no idea what kind of face he was wearing right now to make Jingxue-Jun look at him with such a stricken look. His mind was ringing and bile rose to his throat. His torturous mind decided to replay scene by scene for each of their encounter, starting from the very first one. He had injured himself and spent a night with Jingxue-Jun in a cave, woken up in the man’s embrace; he had invited Jingxue-Jun to the bamboo hut and offered him the drugged tea, carried him to bed, gushing about his beauty. Had Jingxue-Jun been awake back then? What was he thinking when Heimo was shamelessly touching his face all over? Had he been disgusted?
He hadn’t done it only once. Twice, he had offered the tea once again. And the man readily drank it all. When he was laying in Heimo’s embrace, when he was listening to his heartfelt and heartbreaking confession, what was he thinking about? All these times, when he saw Heimo acting coy, weak and delicate in front of him, what was he thinking about? Oh how ridiculous he was, how oblivious and naïve. All these while, he had been tortured by guilt and longing but the man— Heimo’s hands flew to his mouth and he scrambled to the side to gag.
He felt sick. Angry, furious... and on top of everything, he was so, so sad.
If he knew, why didn’t he say anything? Why did he play along with Heimo? Did Jingxue-Jun pity him? Or was he amused seeing the way Heimo acted in front of him? More importantly, despite everything he had done, why hadn’t Jingxue-Jun killed him yet?!
"Lan’er!" Lu Yizhou flew to his side in a blink of an eye and took hold of his wrist. "Wait a moment, let me—"
The box that was kept in a tight lid inside Heimo exploded, bursting out uncontrollably. The demonic energy within him surged and the force sent Lu Yizhou crashing to the opposite side of the wall. Heimo’s entire body was trembling and his teeth were chattering. He knew that he should stop this; he shouldn’t let the demonic energy feed on his emotions, his rage, despair and helplessness. He shouldn’t let the resentful energy seep deeper and deeper into his flesh and bones but he couldn’t stop it. The energy in his body was rampaging and every breath he took hurt like he was stabbed with a thousand swords over and over again. He tried to inhale, yet the air got stuck in his throat, unable to move elsewhere. He couldn’t breathe, he couldn’t breathe—
A cool, deep blue spiritual energy pierced through the fog of his mind and he looked up blankly to see Jingxue-Jun in front of him, hugging him tightly. When did the man get here? Why was he sending his own spiritual energy inside Heimo’s body...?