Chapter 171 - 4.36 Will You Trust Me?
Heimo hadn’t planned for all of this to happen.
As early as six months ago, he had caught wind of the news that Jingxue-Jun had vowed to kill him and that’s why he had been leaving false tracks everywhere he went to fool the man even though he wasn’t sure whether that level of trickery would work on Jingxue-Jun. He had been anxious at first, fretting as he imagined their impending reunion.
What should he do if Jingxue-Jun realized Lan’er was the Black Demon Weeping Blood? Would the man think that Heimo had been playing around with him all these while? How would he react then? Would he look at Heimo with eyes filled with contempt and disdain? Heimo should have hated him, for fuck’s sake. That man’s shifu was the one who had ruined Heimo’s life, who had destroyed Heimo’s family, who had landed him in such a perilous situation. Except he couldn’t even bring himself to. Since their first encounter, Jingxue-Jun had been nothing but kind and thoughtful. Heimo tried to hate him, to push him away again and again but everytime, Jingxue-Jun would always appear and shatter his armor as easily as breathing.
In his mind, Shijie’s voice berated. "Don’t you know who he is, Luqiu Lan?! He’s not the kind of man you should associate yourself with!" Luqiu Hong’s body had trembled out of rage and hatred and Heimo had no doubt that if Jingxue-Jun were to stand in front of her right now, he would definitely be hacked to pieces.
Heimo badly wanted to deny it, that Jingxue-Jun wasn’t the kind of man she thought he was, that he wasn’t the same as his shifu. But then, the words always died down before Heimo could voice it out loud. What was he doing, defending the man who was related closely to that bastard? Wouldn’t this just be betrayal to his whole family? What if Shijie were to know his feelings for Jingxue-Jun? Oh God, Heimo thought with guilt, what had he done? Not only did he not succeed in avenging Uncle and Auntie’s death, he even had the audacity to fall in love with that person he wasn’t supposed to love the most.
The more Heimo thought about it, the more draining it was. Heimo had no idea what he should do, thus he could only resort to the easiest way, and that was to shelve all of his feelings to the deepest recess of his heart and focus on the matter in hand. There were tons of more important things Heimo had to solve rather than brooding about his sappy feelings toward Jingxue-Jun; he had to save Ningning’s life, help Shijie rebuild their sect and make peace with the grief. Not only that, he also had to protect the rest of his family and ensured that the same tragedy wouldn’t happen ever again. Once he decided on it, Heimo started moving in haste. The journey which should have taken more than a year had shrunk to six months.
Yuling City had been Heimo’s last destination. After he had gotten the dragon’s elixir in his hands, he would go back to cure Ningning. If, by chance, he still retained his life after dealing with the demon... maybe, maybe Heimo would allow himself a little respite to do the thing he wanted the most. Heimo wanted to give a proper introduction — he owed Jingxue-Jun that — not as Lan’er but Luqiu Lan, the Black Demon Weeping Blood. Even if Jingxue-Jun were to put his sword under Heimo’s throat, even if they would really become mortal enemies after that, he would be willing as long as he could die seeing his beloved’s face for the last time.
Heimo had maped the next course of action with deliberate caution yet nothing could prepare him for their impromptu encounter in Yuling, right outside the brothel at that! The plans Heimo had meticulously arranged went haywire from thereon. He got jealous all on his own and fought with Jingxue-Jun. Every single thing was spiraling out of his control. Heimo would have divulged his identity if he had stayed there even a second longer, especially when Jingxue-Jun enveloped him in such a warm embrace, kissing him with such fervor as if he wanted to hide Heimo from the whole world. That’s why he ran away, like the coward he was, with tail between his legs.
He had prayed, prayed so desperately that the subsequent event would go smoothly.