Chapter 242: The Only Fear
Shen Jinci’s fingertips brushed through Bian Yue’s hair, the movement gentle, "Worried about me?"
Bian Yue hesitated for a moment before nodding, her brows and eyes conveying sincerity: "Shen Jinci, I’m really worried about you."
Shen Jinci felt immensely cherished, he gazed into Bian Yue’s eyes, kissed her eyelids softly, and sighed lightly, "Don’t worry, I won’t go there anymore."
Bian Yue felt slightly reassured, she lowered her head again to look at the badge in her hand. Its shape was irregular, entirely black, with eerie patterns flowing on it and made of a very special material that felt indescribably cold to the touch.
"Is this badge the reason why you risked going back?" Bian Yue’s nose tingled, she spoke softly, "Just to prove your past to me?"
"Yes, it’s very important to me," Shen Jinci earnestly looked at Bian Yue’s face, speaking every word with great caution, "Even if it costs me, even if there’s danger, my return this time was just to find evidence to prove my identity. Yueyue, I hope you can trust me, I have never lied to you."
Bian Yue felt the sourness in her nose becoming even more severe.
"I know you haven’t lied to me, Shen Jinci, I believe everything you’ve told me," Bian Yue shook her head, her eyes clear and clean, slowly raising her gaze to focus intently on Shen Jinci. She paused before asking, "But what if, what if I never believed you? Would you keep looking for so-called proof?"
"Yes," Shen Jinci paused, his hands gently cradling Bian Yue’s cheeks, his gaze filled with treasured affection, his voice even more tender, "I will keep looking until you are willing to believe me."
"I do believe, Jinci, I believe all the words you’ve told me, I was wrong before, I shouldn’t have doubted you, I didn’t fully trust you," Bian Yue held Shen Jinci’s hands, tears becoming more evident in her eyes, her voice nearly choking up: "Can you... not be disappointed in me?"
"Yueyue, I have never been disappointed in you, not ever..." Shen Jinci’s tone faltered slightly, his eyes fixed on the moisture rimming Bian Yue’s eyes, leaning down to kiss her tears, he said, "My only fear is your disappointment in me, because I am not the Shen Jinci as seen by the world, nor am I a noble gentleman. I know my past is dark and murky, that’s why I’ve always been afraid to tell you the truth, Yueyue, I’m truly frightened of losing you."
They held each other like this, clarifying all previous misunderstandings.